


The Distance Between Us

by meikahidenori



Series: Classic Thunderbirds smut archive R18+ [2]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Brother/Brother Incest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-03 09:39:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 86,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13338528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meikahidenori/pseuds/meikahidenori
Summary: "The truth is of course is that there is no journey. We are arriving and departing all at the same time." David Bowie.





	1. A short holo call

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone asks - in one of the annuals it states John and Gordon are the same age (22) which is what were using with in the fiction but due to birthdays the only way that physically works is by Gordon being 8 months and a bit older therefore for these purposes we made Gordon and John twins to mixed it up a bit, egnoring their actual birthdays.
> 
> I hope that clears up any confusion.
> 
> If you want to get SUPER TECHNICAL, some annuals don't have the birthdays therefore making them official twins - and some state John is older than Gordon or Virgil. There is also an instance on a Matchbox collectable set where John is same age as Alan, meaning there was a great deal of confusion as to who was what aged sibling, making any real combination canon as long as you mention which one your going with.

John sat at the couch that surrounded the round holo table with a cup of milo, getting ready to settle down after a busy day. Rescues, even on his end on the station were exhausting, you never knew what they could throw at you.

He started to channel surf the large tv screen, hunting for something to wind down to, maybe even fall asleep in front of.

That was when the light on the holo table blinked.

Turning off the tv, he got up and flipped the table controls for the holo phone, which was in the center of the table. If it was dad, he wanted to make sure he looked like he was still on duty.

It wasn't dad, rather it was his older brother Virgil, who looked tired and well worn out, smoking with a mug in his hand. John glanced at the time on his right wrist watch - 1am.

What in the world was Virgil doing still up calling from his private line?

“Morning, Virgil. What's up? Alan talking in his sleep in the room next door?” He joked.

Virgil took a deliberately slow drag from his cigarette, letting the smoke curl delicately from his mouth as he observed his younger brother.

“Can’t sleep,” Virgil answers bluntly, he hadn’t really thought about what he would say to John now he knew he was awake, “what’s your excuse?”

Surprised by his own harsh tone of voice, Virgil sighs. He notices John’s face fall slightly.

“Sorry, John,” he offers, looking at his younger brother, “I guess I’m struggling to sleep, every which way I turn hurts.”

John's brow furrowed. “Hurts? Well you did sound like you had quite a fall. Scott didn't elaborate what went on though. You know how bad he is at sharing information about what goes on at ground level. As for being asleep? You know dad’s moto, ‘always on call’. If I get to go to bed for an hour it’s a good day. I'm more concerned about you right now.”

He watched his brother take another long drag. Right now he was himself going through some hefty withdrawals, as dad banned smoking and drinking while in duty and John had to go through several months of no vices to keep his brain from going bonkers. He tried not to pay attention to it, but it was hard not to keep glaring at it in desperation of how much he needed a nicotine fix.

“Hey if we’re always on call, then I’m breaking at least three of dad’s stupid rules right here,” Virgil chuckled weakly as he gestured towards his cigarette and coffee, “and as for the fall? The drop was only a few storeys down, so it wasn’t as dramatic as Scott made it out to be! Few broken ribs and the wrist, nothing too horrendous.”

As Virgil looks on at his space-dwelling sibling, he notices the younger's gaze fixed somewhere to his left. Virgil quickly plucked the remains of the cigarette from his mouth, hurriedly stubbing it into the ashtray.

“Shit! Sorry, John,” Virgil offered guiltily, “I forgot how difficult it must be up there without all this, no wonder you’re not sleeping.”

John waved it off. “I'm going to have to try quitting. I have one too many shifts up here now to get any chance to enjoy the hit.” He let out a sigh and took a sip from his milo. It was a strong one, since he had to give up coffee too and lately milo didn't taste as good as it used to when he was a kid. Alot of sacrifices had to be made to do his job, some easier to give up than others. The biggest one was company, growing up with four brothers and not having much contact with them was the hardest thing he had to do.

But he did, otherwise he couldn't be a part of the team. He was too much of a light weight on rescues and a clutz, hence their father's eventual decision that when he was off duty he was a ‘last minute only if we need another set of hands’ addition to a rescue.

It was rare he got to step foot on the mainland these days.

It wasn't bad, he had a private home of his own in space that was rent free so he couldn't complain.

It was the lack of information on rescues he was allowed in on that bothered him the most.

“A broken rib and a wrist can be serious if not treated properly, Virgil.” John said darkly, unable to hide how annoyed he felt that no one had told him Virgil had been hurt, even during the debrief he was for once, allowed to be a part of. “Fuck, if they think they're sparing me from leaving information out -”

“John!” Virgil interjected, trying to reassure his younger brother, “I’m going to be okay, don’t get me wrong it hurts like hell now but it will improve. I’m sure they meant to tell you.”

Virgil saw that this had done very little to improve John’s mood, not that he could blame him. Virgil understood John’s frustration with poor communication during rescues, especially when he was so many miles away, unable to aid physically. Scott’s decision not to include Virgil’s injuries had been generally accepted. Accepted by all those apart from Virgil himself who had wanted to highlight the failure in proper lines of communication that had caused the problem in the first place.

Virgil truly missed John’s physical presence around the place, like a piece of the puzzle was missing. It could be miserable on the island at times, unable to escape from it all and just enjoy the peace of his own company. This was a luxury rarely afforded to Virgil these days.

“When are you due back here next, John?” Virgil queried hopefully, “it’s not the same without you.”

A sharp stabbing of pain in his chest caused Virgil to drop his coffee mug, shattering the porcelain loudly upon the floor.

“Fuck! Argh, sorry John I better go before someone wakes up and sees this, UGHH, fuck” Virgil hissed, clutching the bruise on his chest with one had as he collected the shards of the mug from the floor.

John dropped his own mug, spilling it's contents and he was quick to lean over the table in an attempt to get a better look at Virgil's hologram but it was flicked off faster than he could move.

John kicked the mug, the plastic hitting one of the walls of the living quarters and swore a string of curse words before running his hands through his hair. Typical macho meat headed Virgil! Always getting hurt, brushing it off like it was a mild scratch and then leaving before John could ask questions or show any sign of concern.

It was as if he thought John didn't care and had all the tact of a box of coal given as a Christmas present. 

Personality of a tree stump, his brother used to joke about him during his studies at university. More like Virgil had the personality of a brick wall. John swore he was hitting his head repeatedly against one against his entire family these days, slowly losing the fight as the hard line approach to dealing with him had gotten out of control.

He checked his watch. Alan will be arriving soon to swap over. John was dreading what was going to happen on arrival home. After the debrief he was asked to hold on the line and dad had informed him of the sudden ‘cut’ to has six months in space. John was naturally suspicious and rightly so. The reason? Dad was going to host a big event in Florida for charity. He wanted his ‘eligible sons’ to be present so they could meet some ladies of class.

It was more or less the only reason John was allowed off the island for - dad’s set up dating service.

John didn't have the heart to tell him no. Dad got a bee in his bonnet and was excited to show his sons off to potential daughters in law and frankly, it was the only time John ever got to hear something nice said about him and his achievements from the old man.

Shame it pales in comparison to his brothers and often the ladies or their fathers would question why John had not spread his wings out from his father's shadow.

That part always hurt but he hid it well. If his father was proud, what else mattered?

Though if he could tell his dad about how guilty he felt about leading him on, letting him think his son was a worthwhile catch - no… best not.

What else could he do? He just wasn't into women. But living a lie and in exile wasn't working either.

 He was, for the most part, dreadfully lonely and unsure how long he could keep pretending he wasn't. He let out a sigh and went to get something to clean the milo before it stained the floor, otherwise Alan will harass him with billions of questions later.

 


	2. Standing up

The venue was huge. John had forgotten how big their father's charity do’s had gotten. He was - for the most part - hiding in a small corner of it, watching everyone else mingle. He was way too tired to be doing this and the trip being flown out from the Island to meet the rest of them with Tintin and the ‘ladybird’ had made his stomach remind him why he'd never have a real pilot's licence, preferring to ride a motorcycle instead. 

The hotel they were booked into next door was huge and John had forgotten the stupid custom of tipping staff and had already done the first thing that seemed to upset their father that evening; which was demand the boss of the hotel pay his staff correctly or he'd take his arse to court for damages to the lives of all his employees and make him pay up over billions of dollars in back pay.

John may not enjoy the fact he came from a background of alot of money but damn could it be fucking useful to get idiots to listen. He was personally going to keep an eye on the place if push came to shove. 

Word had gotten around, which was why he was alone in the corner. It wasn't the first time he had done something so blatantly stupid before, but the idea has made his very exhausted little brain very angry.

He had yet to bump into one of his three siblings who were among the rabble of stuck up snobs but boy his encounter with their father did not go well.

He was on his second warning for the evening.

Virgil spotted John hunched alone in the corner from across the room from where he was stuck talking to a group of people who were very keen to let him know how important they were. 

The effort of forcing the false smile upon his face whilst enduring these insufferable people was beginning to take its toll. 

Excusing himself politely, Virgil made a swift exit from the group, ignoring their continued talking. He adjusted his arm, still in its sling, and walked through the mass of people towards his brother.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!” Virgil smiled as he took the seat next to John, groaning softly as his ribs protested, “When did you get here?”

Virgil noted that John would not look up from his hands, seemingly lost in thought.

“Hmm?” John realised he was being spoken to but kept picking furiously at his fingernails like they offended him. “Oh, hey.” He finally gave up on his hands and forced a smile. “I can't believe dad still made you come to this farce. You should be resting back at home. Actually I expected you to be there when I touched down at home. He didn't make you fly like that did he?”

Virgil scoffed quietly, adjusting his posture to accommodate the throbbing pain in his side.

“I was going to but thankfully Scott offered up, he seemed to agree with you that I shouldn’t be here,” the elder brother admitted, “I asked dad if I could sit this one out and rest and well… You can imagine how that went down. I don’t appear to be in his good books this evening.” 

Virgil recalled the argument between his father and Scott shortly before take off about whether Virgil should be flying. The patriarch had seemed intent on making Virgil fly, even in his current injured state. Attendance to this pointless charity event was always something he and his brothers dreaded, the very fact that John had been dragged into it too seemed only to serve his anger towards their father. 

“That's nice of Scott.” John shuffled on his feet, the sign of someone dying for a smoke and a glass of wine but has been banned from doing so. “but you know me, I just have to open my big mouth and I'm in deep shit with dad. Why couldn't he pick a decent place to stay? He knows I fucking hate tipping staff in the states. It's not like tipping in other countries where it's part of the staff’s end of year piss up fund. It's made as a part of their wage! It's practically making hard working people beg!”

John stamped his foot in annoyance. “So, what’s the score this time?” He asked. Both himself, Virgil and Gordon kept a tally of how many people their dad tried to hob knob them all off with into conversations, though John knew Virgil would understand he was talking about single ladies their father was trying to set them up with.

“I’ve just escaped numbers three and four, pretty sure Gordon’s well up into double figures by now, he’d amounted 9 within the first 30 minutes of being here,” Virgil sniggered, “though I’m pretty sure I’m getting off lightly due to this cast.”

He glanced around the room, searching quickly for his father, who thankfully was surrounded by a large group of party goers. Turning his attention back to John, Virgil retrieves a small carton from his suit trouser pocket. He flicks the lid of the carton and waves it in the direction of his younger brother.

“Care to join?” He smiled softly, hoping to help John escape the nightmarish gathering, “You can show me this pathetic excuse for a hotel you told me about.”

“Oh you'll see it soon enough. It's uglier than the Ritz.” John hesitated as he reached for a cigarette but stopped himself. Just because dad wasn't watching didn't mean he didn't have eyes elsewhere in the room. He looked up in the direction Virgil was looking to see their father ushering another unfortunate lady in their direction.

“Either this is number five for you, or dad's decided to try and start on me. But I've got news for him, I'm done with this game.”

Virgil cringed visibly, quickly taking out a cigarette and lighting it. Judging by the abhorred look on their father’s face, was getting the desired reaction. He was sick of being presented to these women who showed little interest in anything other than how much access he really possessed to his father’s fortune. Virgil’s intellectual mind was wasted upon such fraudulent encounters, though worse still, they weren’t even the right gender for his taste. 

He had never had the desire or guts to confide to anyone his situation. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why. Perhaps it was fear of ridicule from his brothers, all of whom he cared for so much. Perhaps it was nervousness, the concern of being made to feel ashamed for who he was.

Shuffling uncomfortably in his seat, Virgil looks to John for some sort of assistance as their father strode confidently over to them both.

“I can’t keep doing this,” he breathed, tone hushed as he took an extra drag before deliberately exhaling a thick cloud of cigarette smoke towards the advancing couple.

“Fuck it,” he hissed, jumping to his feet and grabbing John’s wrist as he went, “We’re getting out of here, I’m NOT being made to speak to any more of these presumptuous arseholes!”

Virgil made to turn and leave, but felt John’s wrist put up protest.

“Wait. I get the feeling you won't need to.” John freed himself from Virgil’s grasp and walked over to meet their father and the beautiful woman he was with. There was a brief exchange, followed by a glassful of wine being tossed in John’s face with the woman storming off. 

People were watching now as Jeff roughly grabbed his son and dragged him to the nearest edge of the room. There was a very heated conversation, mostly from John which ended with a loud noise of their father hitting his son, before shoving him out the nearest doorway, which happened to be the buildings kitchens. 

Virgil was between his father and the door to the kitchens before he even knew what he was doing. Blinded by fury, Virgil stood up tall and brought his face towards his father’s, mere millimeters from his nose and bellowing at the top of his lungs, “What the fuck are you doing? You fucking animal!”

“Don’t you dare start anything with me right now, not here,” his father spat venomously, pushing his forehead against Virgil’s as he spoke, “leave that pathetic thing in there, it’s embarrassing. Perhaps you should get some air.”

Jeff grabbed Virgil’s shoulders abruptly and maneuvered him away from the main hall. The second eldest winced as pain shot through his wrist. Ducking under his father’s arm, he hurried quickly to find his brother.

Upon entering the kitchen, Virgil crouched down protectively over John’s body and lifted his face with his uninjured hand to meet his own. Blood was streaming from the younger’s nose and split lip.

“You’re okay, Johnny,” he soothed, pulling his pocket square from his suit jacket, pressing it gently to John’s face.

John brushed him away. “I'm fine. I deserved it, Virgil. Third time upsetting him on an important evening, he's bound to be angry with me.” John then got up, dusted himself off and pulled a face. His only good shirt was ruined. “You won't need to worry about being paired up anymore tonight either. I don't think he wants to be upstaged a second time like that. Still, it felt rather good to tell the truth to his face.”

Virgil cocked his head to one side, holding the blood stained pocket square between his fingers. “What are you talking about John?” he questioned, quietly looking his brother in the eyes, “What do you mean the truth?”

“Does the sentence, ‘ I didn't raise my boys to grow up as ‘poofters’ mean anything to you?’ I kind of expected it to be honest.”

He could do nothing to prevent his next breath from choking as John spoke. Virgil froze. How did John know? Why on earth had he told their father? His stomach felt as though it were somersaulting.

“Wha- what?” Virgil stuttered, averting his gaze to his fingers, fumbling the small pocket square nervously, “How? How did you find out? Shit, John, I’m so sorry.”

John looked at his older brother confused.

“Find out what? I’ve kinda been gay a while Virgil. There's nothing left to ‘find out’ about it, accept dad's disgust and everyone else’s reactions of horror.” He gave Virgil a dirty look. “You're not homophobic too are you? I would have thought out of everyone you'd be the most accepting.” He wiped his face and sneered in disgust at the mess he left on the sleeve of his shirt. “If the offer for a smoke it still open, I think I'll take it now.. And maybe a long walk around the block. Anything to get away from publicly humiliating myself more.”

“Sorry, I thought… Y’know, nevermind,” Virgil sighed with relief, “that’s fantastic John, really it is! I’m proud of you for being honest with yourself, it’s inspiring.”

Virgil gave a thin smile and stuffed his hand into his pocket to retrieve the cigarettes from earlier.

“Of course I accept you, you’re my brother,” he continued, passing John the cigarette he so badly wanted and pulling his younger brother into an awkward half-hug, so as not to knock his wrist, “Do you want some company on your walk? Could use the fresh air myself.” 

John nodded. “I could use some. I don't think I'm going to get a chance once this is over. Dad is going to ship me back to space the second he can until he works out what to do with me…and that could take a while.” He indicated to another door that seemed to lead away from the party. “I assume that's the way out into the alley.”

He reached down and lifted the hem of his pants to reveal a funny bulge in his socks, which turned out to be a small cheap lighter. “Let's go shall we?”

“Lead the way,” Virgil offered, holding his hand out in front of them, “I’ll be right there next to you whenever you have to face dad, he’ll have to get through me first.”

Virgil thought to himself about the courage his brother was displaying, having overcome the same fear he himself was crippled by. Though for him, things felt a little more complicated. Over the years Virgil had grown accustomed to burying unwelcome desires or thoughts deep down and channeling them into either creative outlets, such as his music, or in more destructive ones, such as spending hours in the gym, beating himself up.

He followed on as John lead the way out of the kitchen into the cold night air.

John let out a laugh as before lighting his newly acquired vice and taking a much needed puff. Sure it didn't calm him down but it felt good. “I'm not worried about dad, Virgil. There's nothing he has to worry about anyway, I don't go anywhere to meet other people let alone meet prince charming so…” he started to walk until they were no longer in the alley and wandered aimlessly in the left direction away from the venue. “I could have picked a better moment..but dad never talks to me unless you guys are also present. There was never going to be a right time to jump outta the closet. It will be all over the papers tomorrow and the opinion columns and trash magazines will all be voicing loudly that dad remove me from any chance of having an inheritance, but you know as well as I do I don't have my name on the family will in any shape or form. I was pretty vocal on that after mum died.” 

John smiled. “It's fun to pretend I have access to money that doesn't exist.”

He paused to cough before continuing. “So, how's the art scene going? Making millions? I heard you had an art exhibition coming up but Titin said you were struggling to get inspiration. She sounded worried you might miss an opportunity.”

Virgil chuckled, “I’m not inspired by much at the moment it would seem, besides, the money is irrelevant and there are far more important things in life,” he murmured, fidgeting his own cigarette away from them, watching the ash float away on the chilling breeze, “I don’t suppose a broken wrist will be at all conducive to the cause, this is my sketching arm,” he lifted his cast slightly.

As they continued their steady walk through the streets, Virgil felt his muscles stiffening from the effort of the simple movement. He shifted his weight in order ease the pain that darted through his chest. He felt a slight sweat trickle through his brow. 

“John, why didn’t you tell me before? About you I mean? You know I love you and that this would never change anything,” Virgil queried sympathetically, “I don’t think it’s at all fair you’re cooped up on that darn station for such long periods, you deserve the opportunity to be happy, regardless of what anyone else thinks.”

“I sort of am happy, Virgil. It's not perfect or ideal but I get my own space and privacy. I can't ask for more than that.” John stubbed his dog-end in a nearby bin. “You know, you can always take photos. I still have some nice ones pinned to the wall of my cabin. They make the place seem bigger, though my room at home was pretty small to begin with.”

John stared up at the starless night sky, light pollution making it impossible to see any beautiful twinkle. The black void always threatened to suck him in but as long as he didn't think about it, everything was ok. He didn't have an outlet for things, unless you count cultivating the plants in the hydroponics bay at home or on the station an outlet - instead he just tried to ignore things long enough that they would eventually go away.

Most of the time they did, or rather; something else important was more worth stressing over. He glanced at the watch on his right arm again and dug his phone out of his pocket with the left.

“Fuck, forgot it was on silent. Scotty has been trying to call. Probably saw the scuffle earlier and wants to lecture me about etiquette.” he noticed the expression on Virgil's face. “Hey, you alright? You look in pain. I can call an ambulance if need be. I mean Brains does a good job and all but he isn't a qualified doctor nor is Tintin a real nurse. If something is seriously broken you need a real medical professional to have a look.” And with that, as much as Virgil started to protest, John yanked a corner of his shirt out of his pants so he could see underneath.

“Hell's bells Virgil! Sod it, I'm calling an ambulance and you can't argue with me. That wound is weeping and your lucky its not through your shirt yet!”

Swatting John’s hand away, Virgil followed his gaze downwards and saw a small splinter of bone protruding from the lower side of his chest surrounded by an extensive dark discolouration of bruises. “John, no! Wait! It’s not that bad, I swear… I’m just a little lightheaded is all,” Virgil called after his blonde sibling, to no avail.

He watched as John paced away, ignoring his words of protest to phone to the emergency services. He speedily tucked his shirt roughly back into his pants, feeling his own phone start vibrating in his pocket. Virgil hastily retrieves the device, grimaces and reluctantly answers the call.

“Scott?”

_“Where the fuck are you? Are you with John? I swear to god, Virgil, if you don’t tell me where you are, I’ll be contacting Brains to track the pair you down, so help me!”_

“Just come to get some fresh air, that’s all, relax, we’re fine,” Virgil tries to reassure the eldest, leaning up against the nearby wall for support, feeling the cold bricks against his damp back.

 _“Oh, so you are with him? Figures, you know what’s happened right? Fuck! Dad is furious! Put him on the phone Virg,”_ Scott demanded impatiently.

“Can’t Scotty,” Virgil hesitated for a moment, slumping to the floor to quell the rising nausea he felt, “he’s already on the phone.”

 _“I don’t give a fuck Virg, you put him on the phone now! Do you hear me? Now!”_ Scott’s voice was cracking with anger.

Virgil’s head was swimming, a warm acidic burn rising from the pit of his stomach as pain shot like bullets repeatedly through his chest with each breath. Dropping the phone from his ear, ignoring Scott’s commands as they came screaming from the device, it lands on the ground next to him.

“Scott,” he choked out, gasping between each breath, “John… he’s calling… ambulance.”

Vigil knew enough medically to understand his body was going into shock, he forced himself to sit up straight against the wall, focusing ahead at the returning form of his brother. John spun on his heels the moment he saw him ungracefully hit the bottom and speedily knelt down and pressed his fingers against the clammy skin on Virgil’s neck, over the carotid artery, timing his pulse for the operator and then dropping the phone as his larger framed sibling slumped and paled.

“Oh no you dont!” John yelled, doing everything he could to make his older brother comfortable as he lay on the ground. “You stubborn son of a… your going to hang in here or so heaven help you.”

He aggressively removed his shirt before gingerly sifting Virgil's injured arm and his own now blood stained clothes before applying pressure to the wound. “Damn Virgil, I swear if you didn't keep acting like this was nothing, they'd have honesty kept you home!” He leaned down just as coloured lights filled the street heading their direction and pressed his forehead against his older brothers, a few tears rolling down. “I fucking swear you’re more stubborn than our old man sometimes!”

 


	3. Fuel in the fire

The emergency waiting room was surprisingly empty tonight, which was just as well as John had his shirt back but was sitting under a blanket on his bare shoulders trying not to freeze. The blood that was soaked on his shirt was all through the fabric and there was no way he was going to put that back on.

Especially after the rest of the family showed up.

Jeff and Tintin was ushered straight through leaving John in the hands of Gordon and Scott who were arguing with one another, at least until John told them to shut up and Scott hit him and security dragged all three of them outside with a threat to call the police.

 “Look at what you've done Scott!” Gordon was shouting. “You've gotten us all in bigger fucking trouble!”

Scott snapped back and it wasn't long before a scuffle broke out between them.

John looked away, wondering how far he could get before they chased after him and dragged him back. It looked pretty easy to just walk away, the option of freedom and self reliance was calling to him now he was on the mainland.

It would be so easy to just ‘disappear’ and none of them would care.

He let out a sigh and made himself comfortable on the bench while his brothers made a big scene.

Virgil had been relying on him alot, calling him everyday for the past two weeks on Five, even if they exchanged very little conversation other than ‘hi how’s things?’ But thinking back to how much he spoke after they left the party left him wondering if something else was eating him that he just was avoiding bringing up until John stumbled across the topic he wanted to talk about by accident.

A habit that he did often, and boy was it ever annoying. It didn't take a genius to work out Virgil wanted a heartfelt conversation about something when John who usually spent Christmas donating his time taking calls from Thunderbird Five, redirecting some from several call centers around the world from helplines to try and do his own bit of ‘life saving’ the only way he could. 

The signs were all there, but John was too agitated at the time to pick up on them. FUCK! What a useless little brother he was!

He couldn't walk away. Not after some attempt at reaching out was happening.

He sat quietly watching Gordon pin Scott to the ground and sitting on him until he stopped yelling and calmed down. Thank hell for small miracles.

Scott lay immobilized underneath his younger brother, his ego badly damaged and his breathing still quick although his anger was subsiding, replaced now with fierce concern for Virgil and a sinking regret for hitting John. 

“Let me up, Gordo, this is just embarrassing now,” Scott spoke with his face pressed into the cold, wet tarmac of the hospital parking area. 

Gordon did not offer his eldest brother a reply, choosing instead to remove Scott’s coat forcefully, pushing him harshly back into the ground before throwing it to John.

“Put it on, before you catch your death of cold.” His eyes narrowed. He could see the faint signs of space sickness starting to creep in, similar to how he felt when he was under water to long and his body struggled to cope with depressurisation.

John did as he was told. He had enough of being rebellious for one night. Sometimes you had to know when to quit.

“Hey, you ok?”

“I'm fine, Gordon. Just thinking about Virgil.”

“Gordon please let me up,” Scott requested, shuffling his legs slightly before looking at his shivering blonde brother putting his coat on, “John, look, I’m sorry, okay?”

“Hmm..let me think about it for a second.” Gordon paused for theatrical effect. “No.”

Scott let his head fall forwards onto the ground once more. He could feel the frustration rising again. “Gordon,” he muttered, “please?”

“Give over Gordon, before dad sees. He's going to be in a very foul mood when he comes out.”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “Alright.” He caved and got off Scott, dragging him upright off the tarmac in the process. Gordon may be trouble most of the time, but never with John around. It was like the angel on his shoulder was now paying attention and keeping a leash on his mischievous demons.

“Thanks,” Scott sighed, brushing dirt from himself as he leant up against a nearby lamp post.

Scott was fully aware that he was being unreasonable, but seemed unable to prevent his anger from bubbling over. He had let it get to him so much earlier that he had entirely missed the warning signs that something wasn’t right with his immediate younger brother. Scuffing his shoe along the floor, avoiding Gordon’s harsh stare, he turned his attention to John.

“Why did you choose tonight of all nights to tell dad?” he questioned the slender blanket-covered brother.

“I'm not sure. Not fully thinking with a full deck, Scott. Like you, very livid that Virgil is out and about in this state, running on less than an hour's sleep or so all week...it builds up.” He smiled weakly. “What's your excuse?”

Scott was taken aback slightly by John’s hostility, “I don’t know, John,” he admitted, “I just went off the handle when I heard the sirens over the phone.” 

He could still feel Gordon’s eyes boring into the side of his head.

“I fought Virg’s corner when Dad was trying to force him to fly,” Scott rubbed his face with his hands, digging the heel of his thumb into his eye sockets, “Fuck, John, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what exactly?” John's eyes narrowed. “My sexuality is my business.”

“Hold the phone,” Gordon was confused. “What? Did I miss something in that last sentence?”

“Yet you thought it was acceptable to share that business with dad and a handful of fairly influential people who were in earshot?” Scott scoffed loudly, shaking his head, “I just don’t get you sometimes.”

Gordon started laughing. “Oh that's rich coming from ‘Mr. Inappropriate mouth needs washing with soap.’ But since when was this news? It's been obvious you're gay since you were twelve! About time you came clean. So, when's Virgil’s turn?”

“Virgil isn't gay.” John snapped. “Pretty sure about that.”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure, and I'm engaged to Lady Penelope.”

This got a smile from John. “That's Scotty.”

Scott felt his fingers curl as his hands balled into fists listening to his two brothers make their exchanges. What an absurd idea. Virgil told him everything, right? They were so close.

“What the fuck are you talking about Gordon? Virg isn’t gay for fucks sake, and saying things like that so nonchalantly isn’t the best of ideas,” Scott warned, “and how many times do I have to ask you to leave Penny out of arguments?”

Gordon snorted. “Not on your life. Not when I'm in the bedroom next to yours at home and you have fantasies in your sleep. I swear you masterbate while dreaming. Ohh uh yeah! That's it penny! Take it like a good little bitch!”

Scott was airborne before he knew it. He landed a punch square on Gordon’s cheekbone, dropping him to the floor. He stood over the aquanaut, cradling what was sure to be a cracked knuckle at best.

“Fuck you, you little shit!” He spat, rolling Gordon over with his foot to see the younger man holding up a hand to cover his face, he rounded instantly on John, pointing his finger directly between his eyes, “and YOU, don’t you say a fucking word to me. To think I felt sorry for hitting you earlier, fuck.”

Scott closed in on where John was sat, “I won’t hear anymore of this sexuality bullshit from you from now on.”

Storming off away from the hospital, Scott didn’t turn around to check on his brothers. He chose to wait for any news on how Virgil was from the comfort of the hotel, nowhere near his other brothers.

Gordon spat. “Such a sore loser Scooter. Can dish, but not take.” He got up and sat with John. “Don't worry about them. Just worry about you ok? Virgil will be fine. His fault for telling dad he was fully able to travel anyway.”

“Gordon...would it be better if I just never existed?”

“Hey! No way! I need my twin to keep me in line! Don't you ever say that!” He slung and arm around John. “Cheer up. They never truly understood us. Besides, I saw you smiling back there when I picked on Scott. I'd do it again if I heard laughter from you.”

Jeff cleared his throat loudly from behind John and Gordon.

“Where’s Scott?” He demanded, looking between the two brothers before him, “Tin-Tin is up there, feel free to go on up Gordon, try not to cause any more trouble.”

“He stormed off back in the direction of our hotel somewhere.” Gordon said promptly. “If it's ok, I'd rather stay here with John. He's not coping well seeing Virgil like that.”

“Virgil’s fine, a big fuss over nothing,” their father snapped, “I’ll go back to the hotel to get Scott, you are to be on your best behaviour until I return.”

John stood up. “A rib sticking out of his chest is NOT FINE DAD!”

“Easy John, don't -”

“No! Not this time! Last time you were in hospital for five months because you had internal injuries that no one saw after that building fire, no one should EVER GO THROUGH THAT!”  he started to originally growl at Hordon, but rounded out to savage the words back towards thier father.

Jeff blinked at John’s outburst, softening slightly, “son, your brother assured me he was clear to travel earlier,” 

He could see John bristling with unspoken rage.

“And you didn't even think to check? Virgil like the rest of us, tells lies just to make you think we're exactly like you! Tough and invincible!”

“We all know the risks involved with rescues, things happen sometimes,” Jeff bit back, “perhaps a little more care taken here and there would prevent this sort of thing. You’d do well to remember who you’re talking to,” Jeff growled, “I shouldn’t need to check my sons for injuries anymore, you’re not kids! Though recently I’d be forgiven for making that mistake the way you’ve all been acting!”

“Acting like what? Like we're afraid of you?” John said quietly, tears starting to run down his face. “Because that's what we are. You talk us up big at these stupid events, to complete strangers but for what? It's not about who we really are as people, it feels like only our achievements matter to you sometimes… you don't hear the remarks they make about our career choices and the constant comparisons to you! Your not told EVERY DAMN PARTY you're the son who is in your old man's shadow or why can't you be like your other siblings and have your own career! Fuck even Gordon gets that last one as like me neither of us HAD A CHANCE TO HAVE ONE!”

Jeff fought back the rage he felt, trying not to lose what little temper control he was clinging onto. He watched Gordon carefully, watching for an agreement. John was shaking violently now, tears falling from his eyes. Gordon carefully slipped his arm around John’s shoulder, comforting him.

“Is why you’ve come up with this ‘gay thing’ you spoke of earlier?” Jeff mocked, “to be different?” He turned on Gordon, “What opportunities did you miss out on? I’ve given you great education and all the financial support you could want! I’ll be damned if I’m going to listen to this from him.”

With that, Jeff turned his heel and began to walk away from his sons.

“John, me dropping out of WASP was because of the accident. I can't hold down a job because of injuries, you know that.”

John nodded, still crying. 

“I also know you let go of a really good career in NASA to keep an eye on me when dad approached us for this little rescue outfit. I promised not to tell anyone how much you gave up because you wanted to help people, not end up stuck in a position of playing grief counselor.” Gordon pulled his twin into a hug. “But if I have to break that promise, you know it's for your own good.”

“I know. Ever since we said yes, I've found less about dad that I like. That's wrong isn't it? To lose respect for him as a father over something so trivial?”

Gordon, for once seemed to think about his next words carefully. “I don't think any of this is ‘trivial’, John. I know where you're coming from about having to lie to get him to respect you. I hate having him think I'm utterly useless now I can't work a real job and only good enough to be bossed around. Can't imagine what it's like to pretended to be something you're not in front of everyone everyday.”

“Scott won't admit it, but he feels trapped under dad’s thumb and I can't say anything for Virgil, but I know he dislikes playing second fiddle to Alan who gets the most praise.” Gordon sighed. “Alan can't do no wrong and let's face it, we all know bullshit when we see it - even Alan himself. I bet he hates being under the pride and joy banner, there's less room to be yourself when expectations are so high.”

“Yeah I got that feeling on our shift change. He would have rather been here meeting ladies but dad assumes he's going to marry Titin. We know she likes Scott far more. It's a matter of ‘when’ she admits it.”

“It will be ok. I promise, twins oath.”

John found himself laughing at Gordon's silly joke they kept since they were little. What's said and done between them, stays between them.

“Twin’s oath too, ya big clown.”

“There, that's the Johnny I know!”

 


	4. Breaking rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got called out over something invokving the tiger moth, hence a twerking of information and some fun extra Thunderbirds facts from the film 'Thunderbird 6' where the plane was made an official Thunderbird craft.

It had been just over a week since Virgil had been released from hospital and he was desperate to get out of his bedroom. He had been confined to the room and deprived of the company of his brothers. After a particularly poor night's sleep last night, he had reached out to try and contact John, only to be greeted by a restless Alan who had been keen to tell him just how unfair it was he was being made to wait up there longer than agreed. Virgil had ended that call pretty sharpish, detesting his youngest brother’s bratty attitude.

Painting was still too painful to attempt and the thought of having to ask permission to leave his room another time was driving him crazy. 

Restricted within the same 4 walls, food brought up and left by the door as if he were some kind of prisoner. Virgil was confused to say the least. 

Not one of his brothers has been to see him. Perhaps they were so busy on rescues... Perhaps they had been similarly confined to their own rooms. Virgil wasn’t sure.

He adjusted his arm across his chest, his leg bouncing up and down nervously, and stood, striding over to his bedroom door.

He listened for any sign of movement beyond the door. 

Upon deeming the coast to be clear, Virgil opened his door silently and slipped into the hallway. He padded his bare feet towards the rooms of his siblings.

He came to a halt outside the final room of the hallway, pausing to listen for any noise. Virgil was about to return to his own room when -

“What are you doing out of your room?” Scott frowned, arms crossed. “You were only allowed home on the condition you'd rest for five weeks.” He saw the good hand poised over the door's handle. “If you're looking for John your out of luck. Dad’s sent him to work on Grandma's cattle ranch for a while till he works out what to do with him. He'll probably get you to retrieve him when your better. You know dad, if you annoy him enough he'll make you work hard as punishment and Gordon's already been made to do all the house chores around here from that prank last Sunday so he didn't have many options.”

He found himself snorting with a hint of amusement. “I'd pay to see John riding a horse on a cattle muster. You know how he can't cope with animals bigger than lab rats. Would be hilarious.” 

He then shrugged. “It will also mean he'd have to straighten out. They don't take kindly to gay men out there in Texas. I think that's sort of dad’s plan, though even I think that's extreme. John has been pretty low key about things like that for a long time, he won't change and he's harmless anyway. Would be different if he was frequenting bars and sleeping around and in trouble. Can't say I’d want to be in his shoes though. Telling dad to his face that we're all a bunch of liars and that he has no respect for him as a father figure was a really dumb move.”

“I’m out of my room because I’m sick of being imprisoned there, not one of you has bothered visiting in the last week, I didn’t even know John wasn’t here,” Virgil retorted angrily, turning to face his older brother, “I’m going crazy in there, dad has removed any trace of anything that might keep me occupied! My sketch pad is gone so I can’t even draw!”

Virgil made a break to push past Scott, who managed to block his path.

“Don’t,” the younger man warned, pressing his good hand firmly against Scott’s chest, “I’m beginning to understand why John kicked off like he did, this is ridiculous!”

“Virgil, come off it, you’re being punished with the rest of us,” Scott quipped, his hand reaching to grip his brother’s shoulder, “you didn’t exactly ease the situation at the charity do.”

Virgil pulled away from Scott’s arm as if it were tainted, “Oh and you’re completely innocent in all this?” he barked, “I heard from Tin-Tin about the scene you caused in the hospital, beating up your own brothers, you’re just as guilty as dad! You should be supporting John, he’s your brother, Scott, he’s no different than before, you’re just adopting dad’s homophobia!”

Scott’s expression softened. “I've been punished too for that. Actually, dad retrieved me from the hotel by the ear and dragged me back just so all three of us got the lecture of a lifetime.” He sighed. “You got off very lightly.”

Tintin then poked her head around the corner of the hallway. “There you are Scott! We we're supposed to fly out ten minutes ago! Hurry up! The elderly in the home can't wash themselves!”

“Uh, sure, just a second!” He called back and then shuddered. “I swear one more naked wrinkly ninety six year old that has a bowel problem like yesterday trying to flirt with me and I’ll do more than vomit - I almost passed out from the smell yesterday….” he pulled a very sickly face. “Please, go back to bed a little longer - if anything you've got the easy punishment out of us.”

Virgil deliberately barged into Scott’s shoulder as he passed him, “yeah, solitary confinement is just the best,” he snorted, “enjoy the geriatrics.”

He made his way back up to his room, slamming the door behind him. Virgil paced up and down the room. This had been the longest he had not been in contact with John. What he would give to be able to check in with him. Selfishly, Virgil relied upon their conversations to keep him grounded. John had become the anchor that Virgil clung to whenever he felt lost.

He found himself standing in front of a photograph of John and him when they were younger, stood with their arms around each other’s shoulders and beaming with smiles. Simpler times, when they had little worries of the outside world. Times were more innocent then.

An idea suddenly struck Virgil, he poked his head out of his bedroom door to check no one was around. Heading back towards John’s room, he quietly opened the door and snuck inside.

He searched the room briefly before finding the desired object, the holo phone. Virgil hurried to input the John’s personal phone number and pressed call.

A very dark holo picture came up of a figure moving around followed by, “Stupid auto brightness setting my arse! Useless holophone!” 

“John? Are you okay?” Virgil shifted around on John’s bed waiting for the blurred figure to become clear.

“Yeah… I'm fine. Sorry Virgil, only audio is working properly on my end. You know how bad the signal on gran’s ranch is. How you feeling?”

Virgil sighed, “I’ve been put in solitary confinement, today is the first time I’ve seen someone other than Tin-Tin and Kyrano for the week,” he cleared his throat, “more importantly, how are you? How did it all go? Seems I’ve missed a lot.”

“Heh, not much to tell if you've spoken to Gordon.” John's voice chuckled over the device. “He thinks Gordon and I planned it as a sick joke. Unsure how, that night was the first time we had spoken for a while. Hope your keeping an eye on my twin there, keeping him out of trouble. You know the deal, if he's miserable you know I'm feeling the same.” 

“At least, sometimes. If Gordon knew I fell off a horse several times today and had to help inseminate a few cows he'd be laughing his arse off while I think of ways to shoot myself. On that note, guns are not fun. Almost shot one of the helpers in the foot. Stupid weapon really but when you have to kill your own food… I think I may turn vegetarian after this - it's too real.”

Virgil smiled to himself, “Oh boy, only you could almost commit murder whilst trying to find dinner! It’s really not as bad as you think John, it’s quite nice to be able to live off the land,” he offered, “I’ve yet to speak to Gordon, though I’ve been informed he’s being kept busy doing all of the household chores. Scott has been sent to a retirement home to help the elderly.”

Virgil picked absentmindedly at the edge of the cast encasing his wrist, “You know I’d look after him if I could, I’m currently hiding in your room because dad’s removed my holophone,” he paused, “I miss you John.”

A red light blinked on the dark hologram and the sound of exhaling could be heard.

“Miss you too, Virgil. I miss everyone all the time, even if they can't stand the sight of me. Right now I haven't been able to sleep, feels worse than the lack of it in space. There's some pretty creepy cattle hands that are going to be on the… whatever they call it, that are just… not the usual ones that go when you and Scott volunteer and send pictures. One calls me ‘pretty boy’ and not in a joking way...again I'm ok I get dad's old room but…”

There was a sound of swallowing. “I...I hear breathing in the room that's not mine...I'm terrified Virgil. After the charity event I - It doesn't matter.”

Virgil felt a wave of fear for his brother, “John, tell me, are you in danger?”

The line went dead.

Jumping up, adrenaline rushing, Virgil bolted from the room. Slipping unnoticed through the living area, he moved towards the hanger that housed his brother’s biplane. 

He hauled the chucks away from the wheels and threw them hurriedly to one side before clambering up to lean into the cockpit, flicking the engine switch. Jumping off, he caught ahold of the propeller he span it round several times to prime the engine before launching it starting enginewith a sputtering roar. Grabbing one of the vertical support struts on the wing, he hauled his body back up towards the cockpit and climbed in. He struggled to fit his bulky body into the tight space, forcing himself down against one of the hydraulic levers, feeling it dig up into his tender ribs. Gritting his teeth to bite back a shout, Virgil grabbed the steering column of the the old Tiger Moth with his good hand and coaxed the plane out of the hangar towards the small stretch of runway. He throttled up gently, these planes were after all quite notorious for flipping over nose first on take off if you applied too much, and began to gradually increase power until the wheels finally left the runway. The second eldest Tracy brother manoeuvred himself within the cramped cockpit

He knew the route that would take him to his terrified brother, but it had been a long time since he had used the outdated instruments he now relied upon to get him there. Despite being a very old plane, years back their father asked Brains to design a new craft for rescues and after multiple disliked and unapproved designs he went back to basics and tinkered with Alan's plane, not just giving her a new lick of paint - but a brand new piston engine that allowed it to double it's speed and improve it's fuel useage, as well as several other nifty gagets. It was considered a very useful craft in rescuing Alan, Penelope, Tintin and Parker from an airship disaster and was now employed in useage full time within the main fleet for rescues where a more nimble scout craft is required.

 

John slapped the small holo phone in his palm, hoping the signal would come back.

Nothing.

He took another deep drag of his smoke and wrapped his arms around himself and huddled on their dad's old bed, still dressed in his clothes, the ones he found comfortable in at home and had got him called ‘city slicker’ by their gran the day he arrived. Sure, the ranch hands were not allowed in the house at night, but John knew something else was in his room most of the time now that wasn't an animal. Petra, Grandma’s elderly pigdog passed away years ago and she never had the heart to replace her.

Besides, Petra grunted and snored he recalled. She didn’t breathe with a slight whistle.

He eventually stood up and wandered into the upstairs hallway in the dark, his eyes not adjusted due to the light of his smoke killing his night vision which was usually quite sharp and felt around for the hand railing that lead to the stairs which creaked and groaned under his weight. He stopped dead when something clipped his ear, causing him to jump.

A moth, it's just a moth. Fucking hell John get a grip on your - 

“Hello, pretty boy.”

 

Virgil grunted as the plane bucked against the turbulence, knocking his ribs again. He was pushing the poor plane to its absolute limit. It would still be some time before he was able to reach John but he pushed the worry out of his brain to alter his course. He knew he would have been able to reach John faster in Thunderbird 2, but the consequences of discovery would have made life unbearable. He had chosen Alan’s Tiger Moth because it did not have a remote system by which their father could cut power when his absence was inevitably noticed.

“Come on old girl,” he muttered quietly to the struggling biplane, adjusting the rudder pedals with a jolt, “you’ve got to make it, we’ve got to help John.”

 

John lay at the bottom of the stairs. He tried to run but got roughly grabbed and pushed towards them, losing his footing and going down the entire flight backwards. A figure was crouching over him and said, “You idiot! We're supposed to take him in one piece! Can't initiate a new ranch hand with them out cold!”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Was the voice on the staircase. “He can't even ride a horse for heaven’s sake!”

“Ah it's just a bit of fun. We rough up the new recruit, maybe hang him up by his feet from a rope in the barn overnight. Gotta keep up traditions, you know?” 

“I can think of something better.” 

“Oh? Got something more humiliating?”

“Yeah, we'll tie him to a horse in his underwear and send it off in the dark. Let him spend a day out in the desert and we'll retrieve him next day in time for lunch and have a laugh all round.”

“You know that's not half bad! I'll get the fellas to bring one of the horses around and you get him stripped and tied and we'll secure him!”

“This is going to be the funniest trick ever!”

 

By the time Virgil caught a glimpse of the ranch in the distance, the sun was just beginning its journey above the horizon. It must have been just before 0500 hours. Eyeing up the flat track leading up to the main house, Virgil lined up the limping biplane up ready for landing. It had been a while since Virgil had landed the tail-dragger with its conventional landing gear. It only had the two main wheels under the wings and a skid below the top of the tail to prevent it from hitting the ground. 

He was hyper aware these are notoriously easy to tip over so he throttled back and opted for a three point landing, which required both the main-wheels and the rear skid to touch the ground simultaneously, making for a shorter landing distance.

Touching down a little too heavy, the plane bounces back up. 

“Damn it!” 

Managing a softer approach the second time around, Virgil lightly coasts the aircraft along the bumpy track as it reduces to a slow roll towards the barn. Cutting the relatively quiet engine, he painfully extracts his aching body from the uncomfortable cockpit. Standing atop the lower wing, Virgil stretches out his sore muscles, looking out towards the desert beyond.

In the distance, he spots a lone horse galloping around the dusty landscape. The dark-haired Tracy trudged towards the accommodation meant for the ranch-hands. Upon entering the shack-like lodge, he noted the main room was in a filthy state. Venturing further into the building, he checked each of the rooms in search of his brother. He knew that John had been staying in the main house instead of these gruesome rooms, but being it the first building he’d got to, it was worth a look.

After finding each room to be occupied by an unclean ranch-hand, each in various stages of undress, he checked back into the first room he had checked, stepping inside and walking towards the sleeping figure.

“Hey,” he called in a low voice, rocking the man’s shoulder, “wake up.”

The man snorted and snapped his eyes open, struggling to focus on the intruder, “who the fuck are you?”

“You know one of the horses is running loose out there?” Virgil questioned politely, gesturing to the open door and dessert beyond.

“Oh that,” the man grinned, bearing yellowing teeth as he cackled, “that’s the new ‘pretty boy’ being broken in.”

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” Virgil spat, grabbing the scrawny man by the throat.

“Woah boy, your ill temper aint with me,” the greasy haired man choked, “a couple’a the guys strapped him up t’a horse last night, let him run around.”

Virgil growled and withdrew his hand, he brought the elbow section of his cast down with tremendous force onto the man’s nose, connecting with an audible ‘crack’, sending blood spattering. Virgil leapt to his feet and once outside again, began to sprint desperately towards the lone horse.

When he reached the animal he was exhausted and out of breath. Stepping forward carefully, he managed catch the short lead-rope hanging from the horse’s halter, bringing it it slowly to a standstill. Looking behind the horse’s head, Virgil was greeted by a saddening sight.

John had been tied tightly, chest down over the large stallion’s back, covered by nothing but his loose boxer shorts. His naked legs dangling one side, his blond head the other. Thin ropes were cutting into his pale skin and drawing blood from his wrists. Virgil’s heart ached to see the number of mottled bruises that littered his unconscious brother’s body.

“Oh Johnny, what’ve they done to you?” He whispered, stroking his younger sibling’s soft blond hair.

He made a start untying the ropes which bound John in place, shocked by how cold his brother’s skin was to touch. Heaving himself up onto the horse behind John’s limp body, Virgil hauled his brother up and pulled him backwards to rest against his broad chest. Cradling his injured arm around the slender blonde man’s torso, Virgil used his remaining good hand to grasp the horse’s halter, encouraging it to walk on with a squeeze of his thighs and a whispered “Hyah,” for good measure.

Upon returning to the main ranch building complex, Virgil chose the guest’s outbuilding that he and his brothers used to stay in together when they were boys. Grandma always kept the place tidy but it was very rarely used and separated from the main building by some distance. Pulling the halter back indicated to the stallion to stop. He slid off the horse and gently slipped John over his shoulder.

Virgil shifted aside a deliberately loose wooden shingle to reveal the key to the modest building. Unlocking the door, he carefully manoeuvred John through the door, kicking it closed behind him. He lay John’s unconscious body in the nearest bedroom, the one they had all slept in as children, and pulled the covers over him to keep him warm. Virgil went to the bathroom to fetch a first aid kit, opening the cabinet, he retrieved bandages, some sterile gauzes and antiseptic solution. Fetching a bowl of warm water from the kitchen, he went back to the bedroom.

Gently pulling back the covers, Virgil winced at the sight of his brother’s beaten body. He slowly and attentively cleaned each wound with the warm water and antiseptic solution before dressing the wounds he found on John’s beautifully pale skin. Finally wrapping a small roll of bandage over each of John’s wrists.

A laceration on each wrist from the ropes, scrapes and cuts along his forearms and shins possibly from a fall and a large ‘v’ shaped cut above his left eyebrow, probably from hitting his head on the corner of something heavy.  

Virgil quietly pulled the cover back over his brother, collected the open packages from the bandages and gauze and picked up the bowl of water. After discarding the items, he returns to the bathroom and looks into the mirror. Lifting his arm up and shifting his shirt, he checks the dressing over the puncture wound where his rib had escaped through his skin over a week ago. There was a bright red stain coming through the white dressing. He gently put down his arm and returned to the room where John lay peacefully with the new items he had collected.

A glass of water, he was sure to be dehydrated. Painkillers, it was possible he would be suffering a concussion.

Virgil removed the covers once more, discarded his shirt and climbed into bed behind his younger brother. He held his body close as to share the warmth between them, feeling his heavy eyes flutter shut.

 


	5. A Pandora's box

There was a groan, followed by eyes opening fast as John was startled and rolled off the bed. The breathing of another person intimately next to him made him freak out, as after the time he had on the ranch and how some of the men were towards him, the prospect of someone doing something deplorable wasn't out of the question,.

His head was fuzzy, which while logically was due to sleep and gravity finally being allowed the opportunity to catch up with him while he was unconscious made the connections between his wrists that he could see through blurry-fever-panic vision and his strange feeling of being under clothed.

Oh god - they didn’t! 

John had never been drunk before and saying he felt close to it was an understatement. Trying to get up off all fours in his state was causing more panic to rise in his gut and his chest when he realised his legs were not going to allow him to support himself to get up right and out of there.

If one of the ranch men had assaulted him beyond throwing him down the stairs in a more intimate nature, John knew he was going to be hard pressed to prove it after coming out in front of dad.

There was movement on the bed, whomever it was - was waking up!

Terror gripped him as he half dragged himself across the floor until he touched something solid, clawed at whatever it was as he tried to stand up, only to have his legs buckle under him.

He couldn't make out who it was from the rapidly moving shadow in his vision, but as they loomed over as if to touch him, he defended himself in the only way he could.

He bit them.

“Argh!” Virgil cried, reeling backwards onto the bed clutching his hand to his bare chest. 

He should have realised that John might be feeling the disorienting effects of a concussion. He looked over at his brother who was cowering in the corner against the chest of drawers. 

“Johnny, it’s okay, ah,” Virgil tried to steady his tone, “it’s me, it’s Virgil, hey it’s okay! You’ve got one hell of a concussion there John.”

Virgil focused on John’s features, waiting to see if he’d recognise him.

“S-s-stay back!” John stammered out. “Don't y-you dare use my brother's n-n-name! Just because my Grandmother m-may have mentioned it, doesn't mean y-you can…” his voice wavered as some of his senses started to focus on details amongst the fog of his confused brain.

“VIRGIL?” he yelped in surprise. “W-wait….can't be. You can't fly…” John's shakily gripped his head. “I'm s-seeing things.”

Virgil leant forward slowly, so as not to make John feel anymore uncomfortable, holding his hands up in a gesture of surrender. 

“It’s me, John, I promise you you’re not seeing things, it really is me,” he spoke softly, “I flew over in Alan’s bi-plane as soon as our phone call cut out.”

He knelt before his shaking brother, bringing his hands to cup John’s face lightly. 

“You’re safe now,” Virgil reassured, “I’ll explain more when you’re ready. But right now, you need to drink some water, okay? I’ve got some painkillers for you too if you need them.”

“Can't...can't be. Dad said you were still really hurt…” John had to give up, his head was starting to lull. He'd have to trust them, there was no other option, he wasn't in a state to argue. 

He could feel himself being picked up off the floor and immediately he struck his arm out to grab onto anything within reach and the feel of a strange hard surface threw him a little, letting go as fast as he grabbed onto it before stumbling into the person who was he still couldn't decide was a rescuer or a captor.

Virgil fell backwards as John toppled on top of him, the air knocked clean out of his lungs as his back hit the floor hard. He protected John from hitting the floor by catching him between his arms as he slammed into his chest.

John really started to panic now, pushing himself off roughly enough to roll away and scramble onto his feet, only standing long enough to crash back down.

He lay as still as his shaking body would allow until the world decided to stop spinning and give him a break.

Groggily he got up onto his elbows, to see the person he more or less assaulted in his fear curling up in a ball of pain.

Ok, that...that's not normal. 

Slowly he dragged himself over and tentatively nudged the prone figure.

The head was becoming less clouded and when he realised it was indeed Virgil and not some creepy ranch hand, the world began to clear as the emergency parts of his brain were shouting at him to do something.

“Hey, are you….” He gingerly moved what looked like a thicker cast than the last time he saw it to reveal a light spotting of blood through tight bandages “Fuck, how the hell did you get here? Teleport?” was all he could say.

Virgil wheezed, struggling to draw a full breath into his lungs, “I flew…” he gasped for air, “Tiger… Moth…”

He held his naked chest tightly with the hand John had sunk his teeth into, “are… you okay? You need… water.”

“And you need to be in bed!” John snapped, helping him sit up. “Start from the beginning. Why are YOU of all people doing HERE. Dad dumped me here on purpose so what's your excuse?”

Accepting the help to sit against the bed, Virgil let his head fall back against the mattress, catching his breath.

“You have a concussion and you’re dehydrated, please drink the damn water, Johnny,” Virgil sighed closing his eyes, “I’ll need to check you over again in just a sec, then if you still don’t remember our holocall yesterday, I’ll fill you in.”

“I'm ok, Virgil.” John assured him. “But I will if it makes you feel better. Uh… I remember the call but… after I lost your signal the rest is in the dark.” This was true, John still had no idea what happened when he got that fright on the second story landing and now he was lucid, didn't want to upset Virgil by admitting he thought something horrible happened while he was unconscious. He knew something had with how he felt all over and with Virgil’s worry but maybe what he assumed happened was different to what DID happen. It was best to wait till he had the facts.

Virgil smiled, standing to retrieve the water from the bedside table, passing it to John who drank it quickly, water trickling down his chest. The older brother sat on the edge of the bed and reached his cast covered arm towards John’s face, resting his hand against John’s cheek.

“I need to check your pupils a minute, okay?” Virgil muttered, pulling John’s lower eyelid down carefully to check the response times with the bright morning sun.

“They’re a little slow, but judging from that bump on your head, I’d say you will be fine once you’ve had a good sleep,” Virgil stated, before chuckling slightly, “now when was the last time that happened?”

“Are you referring to sleep or waking up after something awful? May need to be specific.” John smiled a little at the corners of his mouth. After having four brothers, three who used to make him the butt of any prank (along with Gordon, after all most of the time it was revenge for something the two of them did prior - prank for a prank as it were) and waking up in pain or dangling from a rope off the balcony - or Scott’s favorite to use on John - hog tied to a tree over the pool, you learned how to phrase that question.

Virgil laughed, “I meant the last time you had a good sleep,” reclining backwards on the bed, he looked towards John, “though you’re completely right about something awful happening, I found you tied to a horse out in the dessert… what the hell happened?”

Virgil noticed how John’s face fell as he struggled to pull himself up onto the bed.

“Well that explains why I feel numb. A stupid prank. Great...turns out even miles away from you lot people STILL like making fun of me.” He relaxed a little. “That's.. Better than I thought might have happened.”

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. When was the last time he had a proper sleep? And not just an hour and a half quickie or several hours unconscious on a damn horse.

“I'm not sure…” he mumbled. “You did keep calling alot when I tried to in the last month or so. Um...I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to, Virgil. I spent alot of time around here awake from god knows what at night, heck yesterday we had to kill chickens for Grandma to cook and watching one of them run around headless gave me some pretty intense nightmares that evening.”

Virgil felt a stab of guilt, “I’m sorry John, I had no idea I was keeping you awake all the time,” he apologised, his voice just above a whisper, “I came rushing out here the moment the call ended because you said you were scared, no, terrified! I had to hurt here to make sure you were okay. I’m glad it was just a prank too, although one of the stable hands may not be as pleased nursing his broken nose.”

“Hey, knock it off.” John gave him a very weak punch in the arm. “That's my job. If no one called at all I'd be redundant. Would be nice to know the reasons behind the calls, but maybe it's best that i don't.” He grinned. “I see you've been making friends already by the sounds of it. You realise you've made me an enemy though.”

Rolling away from his brother, Virgil curled up wanting nothing more than for the ground to swallow him up. What had he really expected to happen? John to be grateful for swooping in and rescuing him from what now seemed like a bit of a rough prank?

He thoughts trailed off back home, thinking of how much trouble he was going to be in when someone realised he wasn’t in his room. Perhaps they wouldn’t realise at all.

“Yeah, maybe it is best you don’t,” Virgil growled quietly, “seems that all I’m doing is making things worse for you."

John laughed. “Virgil, you couldn't make my life worse, even if you threw me out of Thunderbird Two without a parachute. I can do that all by myself.”

He sighed. “I see you guys always going out to nightclubs and cool parties, sometimes not even coming home for days cause you've gotten drunk, had a great time and had a bit of...you know the ‘other’ sort of fun.”

“Even in university...I don't think I ever dated anyone, let alone talk to anyone who wasn't one of you guys.” John scratched his shoulder mindlessly. “Too scared one of you guys would be visiting like you did all the time because you had the keys to my apartment… I didn't want one of you guys walking in on me and some guy on the couch. Sure things are safer more than they have ever been but it's the stigma still that I was afraid of.”

“That one time we all went to that brothel as a joke for Scott’s thirtieth and we all came out saying we go laid and tried to see who had the dirtiest sex story? Uhmmm I lied about mine. Me and the lady just sat and talked that whole two hours we paid for.”

“In a way it feels good to finally tell someone.” John gave Virgil a reassuring pat on his good arm.

“I wouldn’t know,” Virgil muttered under his breath, continuing to keep his back to John, flexing his hand and watching the bite mark move, “I’m glad you’re working things out, John,” he added, louder, “I would imagine it feels quite liberating.”

“Sort of. It's scary as hell. I'm on my own here, only this time open to scrutiny. Before I was just alone and holding onto this...fakeness everyone wanted me to be. Living on Thunderbird Five by myself watching everyone else at a distance made me realise I'm slowly doing more damage just lying to myself and others.”

He took a deep breath before lying back and looking at the beams in the ceiling. “ I don't want to lie anymore, Virgil. Even if everyone is going to disown me or pretend it's not real. It's been a long time since I felt the touch of another person who felt the same way I do about them as they do me.”

Virgil rolled onto his back, dark eyes looking towards the blond. 

“What do you mean, Johnny?” Virgil asked.

He took a moment to study the determination that was etched onto his younger siblings face. Sparkling eyes staring upwards as if he were stargazing.

“There was an astronaut at Nasa when I was still an intern, Michel Varbeik, you know the one, first Arabian in space, the one that was the reason the war with Saudi Arabia and Dubai ended? He trained new potential astronauts at the Cape Kennedy. I had a crush on him…”

“I remember him, good looking guy as I remember,” Virgil too began to find interest in the ceiling, shuffling his hands across his muscular stomach.

“He was, till he was brutally murdered.”

Virgil’s mouth fell open, shocked at how calm his brother spoke about such an abhorrent event.

“What… what happened?” He whispered.

“They jumped him infront of his house. I - I - look, it wasn't pretty what they did...just know that they did it because he was gay, not because it was against his religion. He left that behind when he became an American citizen.”

John’s eyes dulled. “That could've been me.”

He waited for an answer, but when one didn't come he elaborated.

“I was staying there that night...in his house.” John let out a really labored breath. “I was his boyfriend.”

Virgil’s heart felt as though it were being squeezed as John’s words echoed around his head. He could find no words of comfort for John, even for an act so cruel.

“You know it's funny, I told dad I didn't have much of a life then...and I did it more recently too. I haven't felt so alive inside since we were little kids, till Michael one day looked my way and we hit it off. Sorry Virgil, I know you've got your own plateful of problems that you keep to yourself and I'm just dumping this on you but please, don't - don't let it ruin your life ok? Tell someone, even if it sounds horrible. Running away doesn't work...I've tried.”

John looked over at his older sibling, dark chocolate iris's studying him carefully. There was something dark lurking there, he knew it in his heart but unless Virgil was willing to discuss it it was like staring at a steel door that was bolted and only accessible from the inside. He leaned over him and asked, “We're still good right? Now that you know all that stuff?” 

He was worried about the answer, he never fully opened up to anyone like this before, usually he was expected to be the guy who just listened and was not allowed to do or feel anything beyond that. To admit he had a lover at one point - one at least six years older than he was at the time - is alot to take in regardless of how you felt about his sexuality.

“John, of course we’re good,” Virgil replied softly, searching his sibling’s steely blue eyes, noticing the tears threatening to fall, “we’ve been through difficult times, but I love you,” he almost choked on his words, “you’re still my brother.”

“It gets worse though Virgil. Every charity event since we started International Rescue, the distance between all of us - when I'm dragged to them I hear how amazing you all are... Seeing you all dressed up, handsome, attractive, the ultimate desires of men and woman in the room, I feel dirty thinking that the further I feel from our family I get… the more the weird...weirdness starts and the more I no longer feel related to you.”

Virgil screwed his eyes shut in frustration, rubbing his temples harshly, “what on Earth are you saying? That you’re surplus to requirements? Don’t be ridiculous, of course you’re related to us, why would you say that?”

John leaned in close to his ear, swallowing hard before whispering, “Beacause after those events… when I'm shunted back up on the station, I do things...while I think about you.”

Virgil’s eyes shot open wide, pulling his head back away from John, he grabbed the younger man’s face and stared deeply into his eyes, searching for any trace of something he’d missed.

“Uh, guess the concussion was worse than I thought, John,” he offered, laughing nervously, “or is this some kind of sick joke you and Gordo have schemed?”

He felt a stab of anger as he felt John’s pulse, a little elevated but nothing irregular. Virgil started to panic, what was he missing? 

John frowned, removing Virgil’s hands. “Yeah ok, it's a sick joke. Whole fucking lot, I mean who'd want to fuck a walking toast rack, right?” He angrily shoved himself off the bed and even though he wasn't perfectly stable, still managed to reach the door. “Just forget everything I said. As usual no one believes me or takes me seriously. Can all get fucked!” With that he slammed the door behind him, leaving Virgil all alone. 

Walking back to the main homestead wasn't easy in bare feet and since it was now daylight the ranch hands were about to point and laugh, making him feel more humiliated than he had been in front of Virgil, pouring his heart out. He skipped stairs two at at time till he was back in their father's old room, slamming that door shut also before sinking to the floor with his back against it.

Maybe it was for the best after all, it's not like Virgil needed to know after a few of his holo calls John was kicking himself from being unable to tell the big stupid lug how much he admired him, how amazing he looked and how…

He needed to physically be with him.

It was strange, John thought his brain was just latching out for someone at random after he lost Michael, but then Gordon had his accident and things just never gave him an opportunity to grieve. But that was ok, if he did they'd have all disowned him years earlier than now.

The first charity party he got invited to, besides listening to dad talk him up, he got to hear him talk up his other brothers and how amazing they where.

He always liked being in earshot when he spoke about Virgil.

Everything that ladies could ever want in a man for a life partner and a gay man's perfect one night rough ride.

Then he had seen him, happily talking away, smoking a cigar with a glass of red wine and the fucking balls to wear a navy velvet suit!

It got hard, as each invite for an event, it got worse. The separation between him and his brother's was getting bigger, the lack of inclusion of being seen as the same as them… hell once their father introduced him just as John - no ‘this is my son, or one of my two twin boys’ like he always did. He assumed it was a slip up but no, that was his introduction to everyone at the party.

Then he'd be sent back up to five feeling like a failure, as if the parties were to rub his siblings successes in his face. 

The only time he ever heard dad say anything nice about him - and yet still make him feel unwanted.

Then Virgil would call to talk trash about the event.

Oh fuck, did a slightly disheveled muscular man fill that need of loneliness, even if it was for an entire over enthusiastic drunken twenty minutes.

John then spent a good hour locked in his tiny cabin, doing what he was now.

It was wrong to do this, but thinking about how close Virgil was before, how ‘heroic’ it was he came to the rescue...John needed to achieve some desperate release, no matter how utterly shithouse and shameful he felt afterwards.

“Uh….ah… oh..fuck Virgil….please, fuck me….”

His hand was all sticky when he hit the back of head on the door. Great, now comes the buzz kill - your siblings, you don't cry each others name out at night, you don't get intimate with each other, no kissing, no feeling each other up...and definitely, no sex.

That is how society works. We are not ancient Romans who would enjoy sexual romps with family members and slaves of any sex, background and station.

You know, if one of the ranch hands had raped him instead of tying him to a horse, he knew he'd have gone back to beg for more, as that's all he deserved and the only way he was ever going to be allowed to have sex with anyone again.

But there wasn't even that…

John lay down the floor, blocking the door from opening and broke down.

Virgil pulled his pants and boxers off, stepping into the piping hot bath. The pain in his legs was screaming at him. He persisted gingerly and submerged his aching torso. Letting his head fall back against the freestanding tub, he exhaled deeply.

He had followed after John, trying to catch him before he ventured into the main house, to no avail. Instead he was approached by the ranch hand whose nose he had broken.

The scrawny man had dried blood all over his face and had obviously informed a few of the others, who were close behind him. 

Bidding a hasty retreat from them, he had rushed back to the guest house, securely locking the door behind him. He had no strength left in his body. John had left with such anger and hurt, Virgil had immediately regretted not being honest with him.

 

A few hours later, Virgil was in his way to the main house again. He had waited until their grandma had vacated the large building to tend to the few horses of her own she had left.

Pushing open the main door, he made his way up the stairs of the familiar house. 

Coming to a halt outside what had been their father’s room, he took a moment to compose himself.

Bringing his hand up to knock the door, Virgil caught the sound of a muffled sob. It tore at his heart.

“Johnny, are you in there?”

“Wish I wasn't. What do you want Virgil?” The door was swung open to reveal John all dressed wearing loose denim jeans and a dark coloured shirt with rolled up sleeves. He sniffed a bit before saying, “Going to help Grandma with the horses,want to join? She knocked before and suggested I should to make sure they're ready for the four day trek to locate the cattle to bring back. She was excited that it's you here instead of Alan, she said you know the ropes of how this all goes.”

Virgil pushed John backwards into the room, closing the door behind him, ignoring the younger man’s protests.

“I’ll help out once we’ve sorted a few things out,” he retorted calmly, blocking the doorway this time so John could not storm out, “I’m sorry I didn’t take you seriously, can you really blame me though? You were concussed and had bitten me prior to your… interesting confession.”

“Why is telling the truth and having a heartfelt conversation a ‘confession’?” John took a step back and bumped the old wooden double bed. “We never do that often anymore and well… I always do the listening anyway. I'm sorry I didn't keep stuff to myself. I guess I'm overstepping more than just the basic boundaries everyone has.”

Virgil blinked.

“Wait, you weren’t kidding?” He exclaimed, his face flushing slightly, “be open with me now then John, what the hell is going on in that head of yours?”

John rolled his eyes, snorted frustrated that he had to explain himself. No one else ever had to. He marched over to Virgil, grabbed his ridiculously vivid green polo shirt and kissed him square on the lips before locking his eyes with those of the darkest woodland and said, “It's you who needs to be honest and open with not just others, but yourself.” 

He let go and shoved his way past. He had to help with the horses and maybe get one more lesson in, otherwise grandma would tell dad he negated his punishment and would probably be more than just exiled permanently in space for the rest of his life.

After standing rooted to the spot for a moment, Virgil chased down the stairs after his brother, “John, wait!”

Catching up with him in the living area, Virgil grabbed John by the wrist, spinning him back to face him. 

Searching the oceans of angry blue eyes, he paused.

Throwing all his rational thought away, Virgil fisted his hands into John’s shirt and pushed him hard against the wall behind him. 

“Don't!” John growled. “You've toyed with my heart and my head enough for one day-”

Virgil cut him off by sealing his lips over John’s. 

He pressed his entire body against the younger man and deepened the kiss, desperately. Finally breaking the kiss for air, Virgil stood in front of his brother, feeling more exposed than ever before in his life. 

The left fist struck Virgil across the face. “You fucking arsehole! I can't trust you when you can't even talk to me like a human being! You go from thinking I'm a liar to expecting me to suddenly take a declaration of affection? That's NOT FAIR VIRGIL!” John then looked at his hand and the bruise that was starting to lightly blossom. You didn't hit someone like Virgil without hurting yourself in the process.

“I really, really fucking like you… no, more like worship you. You're Mr. Perfect at everything. But after everything, I don't know who you really are. You're a closed book to me, no matter how much I want to pry it open and I think… I think I'm not as important to you as you are to me. You know, that was the first time ever you actually listened to me and you still thought I was a liar. Maybe… maybe I should just - stop trying.”

“You’re the most important thing to me, John,” Virgil sighed, letting his hand fall from his face where John had hit him, looking up into his eyes, “I flew the whole way here trying to figure out what I would do if something had happened to you. I’d never forgive myself for not getting here.”

Standing up straight, Virgil blinked as his the skin around his eye burned and had started to swell.

“I don’t know where you get this ‘perfect’ idea from, fucking look at me John, I’ve been lying to myself for so long I don’t even know who I am anymore!” He shouted, throwing his good hand through his dark hair, “look, I deserved that, I get it, you feel betrayed. But fucking hell John, I’ve never even slept with another person! Figuring out I was fucking gay and in love with my own fucking brother was hard enough without Scott breathing down my neck about which woman I was going to sleep with at every opportunity..”

“You’re not the only one who has to live up to some ridiculous expectation, y’know that? I’ve been trying to talk to you about this, my whole art career is going to shit because I can’t be who I truly am. YOU’RE MY FUCKING WORLD JOHN! My inspiration! I’m trying to open up, I REALLY fucking am… I just…” with that, Virgil dropped to his knees, cradling his face in his hands.

“Then stop being a macho mullet head when you talk to me.” The words were soft. “And I'm… sorry for trying to open Pandora's box without the right keys but I genuinely can't read your mind and know all this stuff, how you feel behind the mask. Sometimes you gotta open that mouth of yours.”

Virgil sobbed quietly, shaking violently as he incoherently mumbled apology after apology.

Looking up at his brother, eyes red and full of tears, “I’m sorry John, I’m sorry for messing with your feelings. I just don’t know what I’m doing,” he wiped his eyes briefly as confusion crept across his face, “did you really just compare me to Pandora’s box?”

“Yes. You just unleashed your own demons out all in one go.” He held out his left hand. “Truce? We can sort our messed up brains together, but right now I need someone to teach me how to ride a blasted horse without me falling off it. We could see some of the property that way, I've never gone further out than the main sheep paddocks and Grandma owns a ton of land I could get lost in… I'd rather we got lost out there together.”

"And all the evils and miseries of the world flew out to afflict mankind," Virgil quoted and smiled, grabbing John’s hand before standing up steadily, “Truce. I still can’t believe you were the one who got to come out here, Grandpa used to take me hunting on horseback. I’m sure we’ll make a cowboy out of you yet, come on then, Grandma will be waiting for you.”

 


	6. A romp in the hay

Horses, John had decided, were the epitome of chaos on legs. He watched Virgil mount the biggest one with ease and ride around on it like it was child's play. Far as John was concerned, the one he was holding the reins for looked like it could spit in his eye.

Bollocks this is the most docile animal of the lot. John saw it try to eat Virgil's shirt earlier, though no horse could be at fault for mistaking that as yummy grass. Not that he would have minded if it tore the stupid thing, the mental image of Virgil on horseback without one would easily make him faint. It wasn't the idea of seeing some bloke with a bulging six pack - Virgil didn't NEED that at all, he was properly built all around and while it did make him bulky, it made the muscle's all the more sexier as John would have to physically touch them with his hands to feel them instead of seeing - a thought he would happily make reality if he could find the courage to skirt around the other events of the day. Virgil may not want to be intimate after that.

Virgil chuckled to himself as he watched John eyeing up the horse he had been given. It had been great to see Grandma after such a long time, he had spoken to her about his daring escape from Tracy Island which had filled her face with mirth. She had assured him that if she received any form of contact from their father, that she would be having stern words about letting them do as they wished, they were now adults after all.

Virgil encouraged his horse back towards John, just as he was attempting to haul himself up into the saddle. The horse was having none of it, stomping forward causing John to land ungracefully in a heap next to it. Virgil could not restrain his laughter no matter how much he tried.

Dismounting his horse, Virgil caught John’s horse by the reins to steady it, “Need a boost?” he giggled, still trying to compose himself.

John gave him a dark stare. “Rather ride a bloody motorbike.”

“You were the one who wanted to learn how to ride a horse,” Virgil reminded him, smiling suspiciously, “Now, up up!”

Virgil grabbed John around the hips and lifted him up towards the saddle.

He was almost in when the horse moved, causing both to fall forwards into the dust.

“This isn't working.” John grunted, shifting underneath Virgil's bulky weight that was pinning him to the ground. “There's got to be an alternative.”

“Alright then starman, why don’t you just hop on with me?” Virgil suggested, “we can still take your stubborn mare with us. Or we could always swap?”

“Gotta think of a better name for me than that, Apollo...and yeah if I could get on at least one we'll be getting somewhere.”

“Apollo?” Virgil snorted, “Come on then,” he mounted the larger of the two horses gracefully and held his hand out to John to get up, “this will be better than the last time we were both on a horse.”

John’s look of confusion alerted Virgil that he had forgotten that John had been unconscious during the last horse ride.

“Oh, right, you won’t remember that,” he said, leaning down ready to pull John up onto the horse in front him, “you’ve already ridden a horse!”

“I don't think being tied to one counts, Virgil.” John said very carefully. “I'm not at home with large animals. So… how do we both get on without falling off?”

“Just catch hold of my damn hand, John, stick your foot in the stirrup here and push up when I say,” Virgil laughed, “all you need to do is sit in front of me and I’ll show you what to do.”

Virgil shifted back off the saddle and removed his feet from the stirrups, “Ready?” he asked, John nodded with a sceptical look on his face, “Okay, on 3, 1… 2… 3!” He called, pulling John’s arm as he jumped up, clumsily tucking his leg over the horse, settling in the saddle, “Wasn’t that bad was it?”

“Except for the fact I'm facing you, yeah we're good.”

Virgil sniggered, “Well you can’t get it right all the time I suppose. Try standing in the stirrups and turning around, I’ve got you, you won’t fall.”

“Okay…” John tried to maneuver his foot around to make it secure before trying to turn around, got one of his long legs caught and he slipped off the saddle. He reached out as a reflex, grabbed Virgil’s injured arm and both of them fell off the horse.

The animal was startled and tried to move away - with John’s leg twisted in the stirrup.

Luckily it didn't run or drag him very far. John tried to reach up to untangle himself but couldn't reach.

“I give up! Horses win!”

“Fuck,” Virgil shouted, nursing his arm as he stood to release John from the tangled mess of horse tack, “You should come with a sodding warning label!” 

Grunting loudly, he loosened the stirrup from the saddle, dropping John to the ground, “are you calling it quits already then?”

“Yeah, any more we're going to break your arm entirely. Are your ribs ok?”

“Would you believe me if I told you I’m ok?” Virgil smiled weakly, “So what do you suggest we do?” he walked up and began to remove the tack from his horse, leading it back to its stable.

John followed him around leading the other horse and leaving Virgil to secure them, looking at the spare saddles and riding crops…

When Virgil came around to find him John was sitting on a hay bale, legs spread either side if it with his shirt slightly unbuttoned holding a long leather riding crop. 

And he was grinning

“Uhh, John?” Virgil gulped, shifting awkwardly as he looked up at his brother, “w-what are you doing?”

“I was thinking, maybe you could show me without the horse?” John grinned. “Or maybe we can have that little ‘discussion?”

“Well at least you managed to get up there without a hitch,” Virgil averted his eyes, shyly, “Uhh, what do you want to know? Um, about the riding, I mean.”

John cocked an eyebrow and slapped his hand with the crop. “How about the appropriate use of one of these?” His grin widened teasingly. “After being so heroic and strong out there, don't tell me you've become a mouse?”

One of his shoulders slipped out of the open section of shirt and to show he wasn't messing around, he gave himself a little slap across it with the crop.

Virgil felt himself blushing furiously now, peeking up at John who was obviously enjoying making him squirm, “Its… Uhhm… Actually just used to t-tap the horse on the shoulder,” he choked, feeling his excitement growing.

John slid off the hay bales and walked over, the riding crop lightly stroking along his neck playfully till the tip touched his lips, he then slowly used his tongue to lick the length of the crop before slapping it against his pale skin, hard enough to leave a red mark.

“Teach me.” He purred. “Show me how hard you tap them...and how you breed one.” He winked, handing Virgil the handle before slipping his shirt fully from his shoulders. “I need to be broken in, Apollo.”

His breath hitched noisily and he moved his cast-wrapped arm subtly to cover himself. Virgil tore his gaze away from John’s chest to look at the riding crop he’d just been handed. “Here?” he piped, trying desperately to control his thoughts, “Uh… Oh fucking hell, John, you’re killing me.”

Licking his dry lips, Virgil looked up nervously to meet John’s smouldering eyes, hoping his own weren’t betraying the gut-wrenching fear he felt. He lifted the riding crop in his shaking hand and lightly stroked the soft leather tip lightly across John’s chest. Virgil was way out of his depth here.

John laughed a little. He rested his hand over Virgil’s and showed him how to strike. “Ohh I've been very bad, Virge. Dad sent me here to be punished, but here you are and you've caught me faffing around instead of working. You going to do anything about it?”

He let out another growl as the crop slapped his skin. He let Virgil’s hand go and peeled off his shirt so his sibling has access to alot more skin to strike.

“Feels good.” He purred. “Harder.”

His hands tentatively started to run along the hem of Virgil's trousers and he could feel how much he was affecting him. “May I?” He asked.

Virgil nodded, his voice betraying him, his breathing quickening by the second. He lifted the crop and brought it down on John’s bare collarbone with a satisfying ‘thwack’ sending shudders through his body.

Hands slid under the hem of his trousers forcing the next crop strike to hit far harder. John knew he was going to be sore and covered in welts later but right now, after all the stuff Virgil had built up and unleashed on him in the living room, he was determined to offer up a release valve of some kind. Sure it’s not like Virgil will suddenly bend him over the hay bales, strap a saddle to him and take him from behind while really whipping him with the crop but baby steps were just fine.

John moved his hands gently, separating both trousers and trunks from skin and teasingly lowered them by inches, the crop now striking his upper back as he knelt into his knees and breathed warm air onto Virgil’s sensitive place.

His knees jolted, Virgil’s body was starting to betray him now too as he leant his head back against the hay bale, accidently delivering an incredibly harsh whip with the crop, though he cared very little at this point. The anticipation was knotting in his stomach, fear dissipating and lust filling the gap almost instantaneously.

“Steady,” John purred, pressing a finger against him to stop a leak. “Haven't started yet.”

“Fucking hell, John,” Virgil panted huskily, staring down at the shirtless blonde knelt before him, “y’think I don’t know that?”

With that he bent down, grabbing a handful of John’s hair and pressing their lips together. Virgil felt what seemed to be electricity rocket through his body, slumping forward to his knees to lean further into the kiss. John’s lips parted to allow their tongues to touch briefly before he broke the kiss and was pulled ontop of him. 

A curious expression crossed John's features. “Are you quite sure? First time is always better to start as the giver if you've never had sex before.”

“Not here,” Virgil replied in forced tone as John moved around on top of him, “fuck that feels good. Do it again!” He yelped, bringing the riding crop crashing down on John’s denim covered thigh.

“I don't know if we stop now you're going to lose the build up we have here.” John said, growling as the crop stung more than it had done so far. Striking his bent legs was more painful than the crop on his naked shoulders. “Would you rather I stay on top… and ride you?” The crop slapped down against his jeans and he couldn't hide the pain the second time, wincing and letting a yelp escape his lips.

“Let me get my jeans off first.”

Virgil growled, rolling John off him and straddling his legs with lust-driven confidence, “allow me.”

He lifted his hands to unbutton the jeans roughly. Eyes locked with John’s. One hand moved to palm the bulge present under the younger man’s boxer shorts.

There was a very low guttural growl. John now had no idea what the hell Virgil wanted. Did he want him to lead or not? 

The only problem was, Virgil could easily overpower him if he wanted to now leaving him in a position of being unable to back out if he didn't like where it was going.

“Virgil… talk to me… don't leave me in the dark here.” He couldn't hide the confused panic that was in his voice.”

Virgil looked up to see the panic in John’s face, scrambling backwards allowing him a bit of space. He hung his head down, staring at his hands in shock. “John I’m sorry, I don’t know…” The brunette paused, attempting to compose himself, “I have no idea what I’m doing, if I’m honest, I just want you. Don’t know how, but I want you so… fucking… bad!”

“I can vouch for that.” John's voice softened as he got on his elbows to sit up. “Tell me what you want and we can try it. It's easy if I know what you rather me to do.”

Virgil thought for a moment, looking up at John searching for the right words. “I want it to be you that does it,” he muttered quietly, averting his eyes again, blushing, “I want you to be the first… Show me? I trust you completely, John. I’m yours.”

John seemed to think about it. “You quite sure? You were quite happy to fuck me like a mad bull a second ago.” He teased “I'm just checking. I don't want to fuck this up either for you… even though I may have with all these questions.”

“I’m sure,” Virgil nodded slightly, feeling far from confident in his own skin but sure as hell about this, “I don’t want to hurt you, I’ll learn here from you.”

John shook his head. “Not quite how it works.” He crawled over and sat in front of Virgil between his legs, cupping his head in his hands. “We learn together and besides, I don't mind a little pain, as long as it's fun.”

He pressed his forehead against his brother's. “Everyone likes different things, and you find out by doing, rather than watching.”

John kissed him on the lips lightly, like gentle sprinkle of rain. He guided Virgil’s good hand the side of his stomach and the one in the cast to rest against his chest. With his own hands he ran them as light as he could down his older brother’s sides, slipping his hands under his shirt. He nuzzled his brother's cheek with his nose, giving Eskimo kisses and softly breathing warm breath on his ears. It had the same effect as it did earlier lower down.

“I know your body likes a bit of a tease…” he whispered. “ and your sides like to be tickled.” And with one finger ran it down his torso and watched him shiver. “You like fingers tracing your muscles, giving them attention they need and cry for.”

Virgil’s eyes fluttered shut as he relaxed into John’s subtle touch, his senses seeming to overload with pleasure. Muscles all over his body were shuddering involuntarily. It felt like John was drawing out constellations on his torso, connecting scars and marks upon his skin as if he were mapping the stars, putting him in a kind of trance. The feeling was far beyond anything he had imagined in his mind during many a night alone in his dark room back on the island.

The rustling sound of the hay crackling underneath their writhing bodies seemed to be amplified in his ears as it echoed around the empty barn.

At least, the moment of bliss lasted until John's main hand dived lower.

John shifted to allow Virgil the room to move but still got a knee in the chin, though his older sibling wouldn't have registered it beyond the light panting and heavy breathing. But that was the plan, to relax him so the main part would hurt less.

Not that it would be for long. Tall and thin didn't mean you had ‘gods damn gifts’ on your person, soon enough Virgil would probably think he could do better than his own lack of lady filler.

He lowered himself to meet his hand, still lovingly teasing Virgil's inner thighs, though instead of blowing warm breath onto him, John used his tongue to stroke the lush offerings he had and blow over the wet surface, sending chills through his lover.

There was no way he could fully get that into his mouth, even if Virgil forced him to. While he knew it felt good to the recipient, John wasn't going to swallow - he disliked the taste and texture and it would always make him cough it up.

He felt a hand grip tightly with his hair and stopped teasing until it let go. He didn't need to voice how he felt about being forced it he could deprive instead.

Virgil felt John shift around, stopping the onslaught of pleasure. Opening his eyes and leaning up onto his elbow, he used his free hand to pull his polo shirt up over his head, discarding it to one side. 

There was a strange playful look in John’s eyes, Virgil shuffled backwards unable to put his finger on whether this was good or bad news. 

John resumed teasing him, but now since he was shirtless as well, hands moved upwards to touch and tickle, caressing the body lovingly. Soon the playful licking stopped and John got back up, kissing trails along Virgil's bare stomach and he did so until he was now hovering by his ear. 

“If you need to bite, sink them into my shoulders. I don't have any lube so it will hurt a minute or two. If it's too much, tell me and I'll stop.” He folded back onto his hutches, rummaged through his jeans for his wallet and produced a little silvery packet.

“Always carry one, never sure why...habit I suppose. Would you like to help me with it on first?”

Sitting up and gingerly taking the packet from John, Virgil felt his nerves creep in slightly. He gripped John carefully in his hand, stroking him whilst rotating his wrist. Tugging softly at sensitive skin produced a quiet sigh from his taller brother.

Virgil dipped his head and gently took the tip into his mouth, flicking his tongue tentatively.

He was rewarded with a gasp and a strange little yelp for his efforts.

Spurred on by John’s reaction, Virgil removed the packaging before putting it in place and unrolling it down John’s length with his lips and mouth, taking in as much as he could and watching John intently.

“Ahhh!” John's voice seemed to change up an octave as his breath caught in his throat. It was very quiet and restrained unlike the noises he made when being whipped with the crop.

Those were the ones of purest pleasure.

Pleased with the results, Virgil places slow kisses along John’s length and lower stomach, grazing his teeth along the pronounced hip bones he found.

This time the yelp was louder, followed by other tastier noises that accompanied it, the mild thrill of being treated rougher than some delicate wallflower that everyone seemed to think he was.

He was a Tracy after all - thrill seeking risky behavior flowed in his blood as much as the rest of his brother's but was given very little opportunity to partake in it, unless Virgil, Scott or Alan decided a revenge prank was in order.

He'd have to find some good ropes while they were staying here - plenty of impromptu paraphernalia to get that rush started.

Though the idea of Virgil not giving him any options and really going all out had a major appeal as well, as long as it was fun for both of them. Pain during foreplay aside, John knew he couldn't take it if things suddenly got too aggressive or abusive.

It needed to be fun, or not do it at all.

Virgil worked his way up to John’s chest, littering it with kisses and the occasional flick of his tongue. He reached a soft pink nipple and lightly sucked on it, stealing a sharp bite before moving to his neck. Nudging John’s head to one side, Virgil sucked hard on the skin between the younger man’s neck and shoulders. Nibbling on John’s earlobes carefully, he finished off by trapping him in a breathtaking kiss.

As Virgil broke the kiss, he pulled on John’s bottom lip with his teeth, his strong hand cradling the back of his siblings neck. The thrill of exploring his brothers body in such a way was exhilarating.

“Fuuuck…..” John purred once Virgil let his lip go. He could taste a little blood but boy he wasn't about to care! This was a hint and a tease of the real thrill that would come when Virgil decided the time had come to stop letting him lead.

He hoped he would be ready for that.

His hands raided Virgil's thick trunk of a body, a little more feverish than before, the new assault luring Virgil out to play more and to also make sure his body was ready. Laying ontop of him he fluttered more kisses and started to lightly nip as he explored, feeling every hidden muscle, every solid shape and once his brother's legs shifted in response, he made his move.

 Virgil lost all train of thought when John ground their hips together. Fingernails digging into the younger man’s back, scraping a few spots where the riding crop had left its mark earlier. 

There was a slight hiss from John as pain blossomed from those areas of already abused skin and a deeper growling as he got a little bit forceful in his next kiss. Virgil wasn't going to know who he was by the time they were done.

It may have been tentative and slow on John's part, but watching how his lover stretched, squirmed and made the most sexy sounding whimpers as the newly discovered sensitivity was put through its pace. You don't need to push super hard or move fast to enjoy something like this - to do so was wasteful as you missed the real show, the one of making someone else feel incredible and how much they love you to allow you that privilege.

To take it for granted was to not deserve any.

Pain shot through his shoulder as he felt something sharp sink into where the more vivid of crop marks were, breaking skin. Oh hell was that good! He couldn't help but cry out a sound mixed of both pleasure and pain, loudly too.

Virgil jumped, pulling away searching John’s face with worry,“You good?” He asked.

John kiss him again with the same roughness as before. “I said biting was ok, didn't I?” He smiled in between breaths. “I love it.”

Virgil continued his barrage of bites, occasionally clawing at John’s back in desperate pleasure. Feeling the sheen of sweat on his lover’s pale skin, he had never felt so high in his life. Adrenaline surged through his veins as he stole one more nip at John’s earlobe before seductively groaning, “please, John, I need more.”

“More?” John let out, exasperated. “I'm not as strong as you think I am, Virgil…. And out of practice.” he was too, living in space had not been kind physically to him, his muscles crying uncle way too early for his liking. He also knew he couldn't give Virgil everything he probably wanted, no matter how hard he tried.

He reached one hand down to stroke Virgil’s hungry monster, still hard and demanding attention like a spoilt child. John started to be rougher with his hand and wrist actions as he thrusted his own hips in a rough time keep - but he was almost ready to physically give.

“Virgil, I don't think I can hold out…”

“Hello? Johnny? Virg? You in here?”

SHIT.

John froze, unsure what to do. He'd have to pull out, no other option.

“Just a sec Grandma, we're just putting away the last of the saddles we've polished!” John shouted, lying through his teeth as he got off Virgil, pulling him into a sitting position as he did so which winded him a great deal after the amount of energy they both had put into teasing each other and for what? John giving Virgil the most ungratifying sex? 

That failure was going to bite him later.

He tossed Virgil his shirt, “hurry before she decides to wander around!” He hissed.

Virgil hurriedly pulled on his shirt and jeans as John did the same..

grinnin Their grandma called, “you’ve got a visitor.”

“Guys?” John and Virgil gasped as the sound of their brother’s voice reached their ears.

They both exchanged glances. What the hell was HE doing here?

 


	7. Another false start

Dinner was at least, noisy compared to the usual fare, though most of the chatter came from Grandma and the unannounced drop in.

Technically, Virgil was a drop in to, but he was at least - welcome. John played with his food, his role of being a background extra slipping back just as fast as it had left. 

At least Virgil was talking. John counted his blessing on that score. Right now all John wanted was space, he needed just a few minutes alone for recomposure, to put back on the invisible mask that was expected of him.

The unexpected guest happily made conversation with Grandma across the table. Shooting menacing glances at Virgil, who looked as though he would rather be anywhere but here. 

Virgil politely answered all of their Grandma’s questions, leaving half the food on his plate before excusing himself from the table. Standing and leaving without a word to either of his brothers.

Upon entering the guest house, Virgil ran to the bathroom, heaving the contents of his stomach into the toilet before collapsing onto the cold tiled floor.

“So John,” Scott began, “been keeping yourself busy around the ranch?” A thin crooked smile creeping across his face.

“Well yeah.. Doing what I'm supposed to be here for.” He frowned. Grandma Tracy moved to clear the dishes, and even though John offered to do them she told him he was silly as Dessert will be next.

Alone at the table, Scott pulled out a magazine from under the table. “Take a look.”

John did and slid it back. 

“You trying to blackmail me?”

“I don't want to. Dad didn't give me the option. You're lucky he didn't fly out himself. Were you really with that astronaut in these pictures before he was killed?”

John didn't answer. What was the point? The photos were all there splashed in the pages of a gossip rag. 

“Dad said you can take your motorbike, it's in the loading bay of Thunderbird One. Once the cattle muster is over you're to vanish. Dad said your no longer his son and wants you gone.”

Scott's eyes fell. “I'm to take your place on the station. He was really unhappy, blaming me for not keeping a leash on you when you were living in the states. I don't think he wants to see me again in a hurry either.”

“So.. Is this it? Four more days to be a Tracy?”

“You'll always be one, John. Just… I don't understand dad… not even going to pretend to. Hey,” he put a smile on his face. “Least you can go with someone on those days now, Virgil can rest and relax in style until I'm forced to fly him back. Though not sure I want to...I don't want to end up losing two brothers - I need all of his help to change dad's mind. Gordon is trying in my absence though, don't know what damage that's going to do.”

“Basically don't fully disappear on us. I'd… hate that.”

John put on a fake smile. “Promise you won't tell Virgil ok? Keep his anger as ammunition.”

Scott nodded just as Grandma placed two big plates of apple pie in front of them.

Virgil awoke some time later, shivering, alone and in the dark on the bathroom floor. The arrival of his eldest brother had brought reality crashing down around him. His whole world with John had been knocked out of orbit.

Getting up onto his hands and knees, Virgil felt an unfamiliar ache from his encounter with John in the barn. He feared that he’d never get a chance to explain himself to his blonde brother. He’d almost forgotten the shitstorm he had left at home and the idea of having to return and face the consequences after the escape stunt he pulled in Alan’s plane made his stomach turn again. 

His eyelids drooped as the ferocious pounding in his head began. Virgil was emotionally spent and had gotten a few hours sleep in the last 36 hours or so.

Crawling from the bathroom blindly, he clambered into the bed where he had tended to John’s injuries that very morning. His anger and guilt moulded into a muddle of feelings. Virgil could not prevent the tears from falling and the sobs escaping his lips as he replayed the days events over and over.

There came a knock at the door.

Virgil forced himself to stifle his sobs, staying as silent as possible, hoping for whoever it was to leave him alone. 

“Virgil? Are you in there?” The quiet voice called. “I want to make sure your ok. Scott’s here to help with the cattle muster, that's all. Grandma asked him to come as she was worried about you and thought you could stay in the ranch till you were ok to join us on the last leg.”

John let out a sigh. “About today Virgil… I don't regret a second of it… except the bits where I hurt your feelings, that wasn't...look mind if I come in? Scott has taken dad's old room so-”

The sound of a key turning in a lock sounded and the door was opened slowly. 

Virgil stood in front of John, eyes bloodshot and tear stains on his skin.

John's expression dropped straight from concern to worried. “Virgil! You’re pale!” He didn't give the bigger Tracy time to answer before ushering him back towards the bed, closing the door behind them and immediately removing his siblings shirt. He frowned at the sight. 

The injury was never going to heal at this rate… and he didn't do anything to help it.

“Sit.” He said in tones that were more like instructions being delivered to a naughty student. Once seated, John removed the dressing and inspected the wound. The stitches have come loose, I'll need to fix.” He got up and entered the bathroom and exclaimed. “Holy shit Virgil!” Grabbed the first aid kit and shut the door, locking the smell inside before he added to it with his dinner.

He'll have to clean that later.

Coughing, he sat back down and inspected the kit, sanitising his hand with the rubbing alcohol before the needle and opening the small pack of sterilised stitches thread.

“Hold still.”

Needle touched flesh and Virgil jolted, grabbing onto John tight and sinking his teeth into his shoulder. 

“It's ok,” John whispered. “it's ok.”

As each stitch was replaced and the wound tidied up, the teeth dug deeper into his shoulder, the mouth full of his shirt was keeping Virgil calm and at least, reassuring him that his older brother didn't want to forget their romp in the stables.

New dressings were applied and John just sat still, with Virgil’s teeth in his shoulder being replaced by a very sickly fever soaked forehead. He waited till Virgil driffed off before helping his brother, if rather awkwardly down onto the bed before going into the hall to retrieve cleaning equipment for the bathroom.

It took a good three hours to clean the mess and coming back in seeing Virgil in a fitful sleep, he sat on the end of the bed and rubbed his brother's legs till they stopped fidgeting and he was in a deeper sleep state. 

Eventually, John crashed too. Lying flopped at the end of the bed, arm dangling off the edge along with his head, too exhausted to keep going.

In the small hours of the morning, Virgil was trapped within a nightmare, and began thrashing around. John was rudely awakened when his face came in contact with the hard floor. 

Shuffling around to slip into bed next to his troubled brother, John runs one hand gently through soft dark hair, the other softly stroking Virgil’s face in an attempt to soothe him.

Virgil was now mumbling things incoherently.

“Puhh… -ris. Ahh! NO. Jo-”

John leaned in closer, trying to get an idea of what he was saying.

“What is it, Virg?” he asked, though expecting an answer from a sleep talker was a pointless endeavor, John having shared a room with Gordon till they were both too big and Gordon never shut up until his late teens.

Virgil’s eyes shot open, wide and terrified.

“J-John, n-no,” he stuttered, “P-POLARIS! The b-brightest star. Don’t g-go… John, my Polaris.” 

Virgil started to shake, his body now wracked with sobs, gasping out apologies in between choked breaths.

John rested his hands on his brother's shoulders to hold him still. “Hey, I'm not going anywhere Virgil. Not far anyway, that's a promise. I just want you better. When you are you can join us...I’d really like that, sharing a two man tent under the stars….just us.”

“Just us?” Virgil sniffed, finally regaining full awareness, “Can’t I come with you?”

He already knew the answer to that question, he just didn’t want this to end. Enveloping John into a hug, he held him close to his chest, calming down almost straight away with his anchor firmly keeping him stationary.

John chuckled. “If the two of us could still fit on the dirt bike of mine I would!”

Virgil smiled at the idea, absentmindedly tracing circles around the rough patches of skin on John’s shoulder caused by his biting and the riding crop.

“Will be waiting for you,” Virgil yawned, “you promise you won’t leave me?”

“I promise, Virgil. Besides, Grandma says you can ride to meet up with us when she does at the final stretch marker. Your arm will be ok by then and hopefully your ribs will be too.”

“Just us…” Virgil repeated to himself, nuzzling his face into John’s neck, “Love you.”

John kissed his forehead. “Love you too.” He almost drifted back into a light doze when he could feel something warm slip under his shirt.

“Virgil?” He laughed a little uneasily. “You should be asleep.”

“Not before I give you a proper send off.” 

“Oh?”

“Been dreaming about it…but since your here…”

Virgil pounced on top of John and ripped open his shirt with ease, enjoying the scattering sound the buttons made. Grabbing both of John’s wrists with his good hand, he presses them above his head, softly caressing the younger man’s chest.  

Dropping his head, Virgil began to kiss John slowly, gently sucking his bottom lip every so often. He had his brother effectively pinned in place so he could easily do whatever his mind desired.

He wanted to make John beg for him… To make him scream his name… To take him to the edge and back…

Nuzzling into John’s neck again, he began to bite and suck at the skin there, from jawline to shoulder making sure to take his time and savour the taste of his skin.

John squirmed. Where'd this sudden energy come from? Virgil was sickly and in a bad way and then to just -

He'd fallen for it. Snared like a rabbit in a trap.

Virgil's full weight pushed him into the mattress and with his hand pinned. There was nowhere to go.

“Virgil?” John tried to get his attention but it fell on deaf ears. A large bite into his right hand side that was part of a really rough lick and nibble forced him to almost yelp his brother’s name. Being caught off guard like this, John was trying hard to shake it - Virgil wouldn't harm him, would he? 

Maybe showing him he liked to play a bit naughtier was a bad idea.

“Ah! Aaaah! Uhhh ah!” John couldn't stop the noise as Virgil started to move towards his belly button and nibble at the little bit of pot belly that showed. His voice started to get caught in his own breathing as he tucked his head onto his own raised shoulder. “Vir-AHHH!”

That last really overzealous nip on the hip hurt. Virgil seemed to pause, but he wasn't sure if it was to his really loud yell, or the fact one of his legs kicked out and clipped Virgil’s cast. 

Virgil howled loudly out in pain, letting go of John’s wrists instantly as he collapsed on top of his slender frame, rolling onto his back. He was panting furiously now, this was confusing!

One moment he was doing all of the right things, the next thing he knows he’s seeing stars, trying to remain conscious. Virgil was frustrated in himself, how was he getting this so wrong? 

His brothers had always given Virgil the impression that it was pretty simple to discover what a lover wanted, it was how he had maintained enough information to recall back every now and again should the situation arise.

Involuntary reactions be damned! Virgil’s full weight collapsing onto him wasn't what he expected, nor something he would be ok from.

He wouldn't even be able to get onto a motorbike after it.

Virgil was howling in pain beside him but this time John couldn't care. All that weight slamming hard between his legs, against his chest left him writhing into a ball. Something somewhere went ‘CRACK!’ and it was obvious it was not the plaster.

John clutched his pelvis and with the other arm across his ribcage, let out a really painful gurgling sound, air struggling to return to his lungs.

Virgil was writhing in agony next to John, the collision of their bodies had ruptured the stitches his brother had painstakingly threaded earlier. He could feel the blood pooling against his skin, contained by the dressing.

“John, fuck… Ahh!” Virgil shrieked, “John what’s… Shit, what’s wrong, UGH! With your bre-ah-athing?”

Another sickening gurgle came from beside him. He hollered out in a mixture of pain and fear. 

Virgil fought to lift himself up with his non-broken arm to kneel and observe John’s twitching body. His hip looked bumpy and irregular… 

“Oh fuck” Virgil exclaimed, reaching a hand out to towards the damage he had just caused, “fuck, fuck… FUCK! John I’m so sorry, it’s… fucking hell its dislocated!”

Virgil retracted his hand, shifting to John’s face, holding it carefully. “You’re okay John, it’ll be fine,” he soothed.

Gritting his teeth through the pain in his arm, Virgil could feel he lightheaded was returning, sweat gathering on his skin.

John whistled through his teeth, wincing as he moved to look at Virgil. “Your not though. I might need to redo the stitches.” He inhaled a deep breath before attempting to sit up and the expression of sharp shooting pain crossed his face. Once upright he fumbled for the medkit on the bedside table for the bits he needed to re close and re dress the wound.

“Ok… you know, this time - this time you're to just stay damn still! There's not much in the kit left to keep patching you up everytime.” 

John started to unwind the bandages, only this time he kept stopping to rest his head against Virgil’s broad shoulders.

“Bit more warning when you do that to me.” He mumbled as his hands fell away, bandages half untwined. “Urgh sorry..give me a minute to get a warm cloth to clean.” He pushed himself off Virgil and when his feet touched the wooden floorboards he folded up forwards into a heap, something somewhere had made his right leg completely numb and it was like stepping out into open air. Last time he had that happen it was because he sat on the bed in his cabin cross legged and that resulted in hitting his shoulder in the bedside shelf, knocking his shoulder out. 

“I'm ok!” He said hurriedly. “Give me a minute….” He winced as he tried to pick himself up. “Or five. You know what? I'm just going to lie here until Scott comes looking for me wondering why I haven't packed my tent stuff yet.”

Virgil scooted slowly to the edge of the bed, “how are we going to explain this one?” he asked, carefully reaching out his arm, “you can’t stay there John, either you let me help you up, or I’m going to get Scotty.”

Growling, John replied, “If you get Scott he'll ask questions we can't answer, making more of them. I don't see- fffft! that helping!” John tried dragging himself up using the bed. “And you - you need NEED to rest. I'll be FINE.” the last word was uttered through clenched teeth once he got standing. “Right, stitches…” 

John started to hobble his way to the bathroom, slightly dragging his foot. There was every chance he twisted it when he crashed downwards but he knew as long as there was pain it was ok and would heal. He didn't return right away, choosing to sit on the edge of the bathtub to inspect himself out of view. 

Shit, he looked like someone was beating him or rather, some creature had bitten him multiple times in attempting to drag him off as a last meal.

How the hell could Virgil find him attractive when he looked like he had been beaten with a cricket bat?

Hobbling back towards Virgil, he was a little relieved that his older brother had finished removing the dressings for him and was lying back doing what he was told.

Virgil lay there in silence, the blood-soaked dressings clenched tightly in his fist and pressed against his ribs. He watched as John ambled painfully over to the bed, observing the marks he had left upon his brothers porcelain skin. A wave of guilt hit him like a freight train, he turned away embarrassed. He had no idea how to approach sexual encounters, his feverish brain had sent signals to his body earlier that he couldn’t decipher. 

Everything was moving so fast for Virgil that he felt as though he was being dragged along by a strong current, blindly clutching at anything he could reach to slow himself down.

He couldn’t believe he had hurt his brother, an act he had chewed Scott out for less than 48 hours ago.

 Hypocrite. 

John was everything to him and so far all he had done is terrify and hurt him. 

He didn’t deserve the kindness John was showing him, he knew that much. Virgil wondered if he should talk to John about his appalling behaviour, to beg for forgiveness. 

Disgusted with himself, he turned his head away, pulling a pillow to cover his inevitable groans of pain.

John busied himself with his patch up job and once it was all fixed, draped himself lazily across Virgil’s stomach like a cat would and lay quietly, drifting to sleep.

Virgil must have nodded too off at some point, awaking to the sound of the door shutting, he froze, unable to move due to his half-naked brother lying across his own bare stomach. He attempted to scrabble the covers across him, but could not reach.

Fear gripped him as the footsteps got closer and closer.

He lifted his leg gently to wake John up just as the handle on the bedroom door was operated and Scott stuck his head in.

“Figured you'd be in here,” Scott said from his position in the doorway. “How's the patient?”

Luckily, Scott couldn't see much from that faraway so when John struggled to get up it just looked as if he was overtired.

Though, that was an understatement. That tiny nap, while much needed did nothing to replace the need for real sleep, something John was in extreme need of.

“Should be fine, Right Virgil?” John patted his brother's leg. “As long as Grandma doesn't make him do chores around here he'll join us on the last part of the ride.”

Scott snorted, amused and relieved Virgil was ok. He changed the topic, “I figured you'd ride your bike so I loaded her up with some spare full jugs and other things your going to need out on the muster. You ready?”

“Yeah, I'll be with you in a tick.”

Scott nodded, walking away leaving the door open.

John half limped, half hobbled to retrieve his shirt off the floor and pulled it on, doing up the few remaining buttons.

“Promise me you'll rest, Virgil. And I'll promise I'll be ok and meet you in three days.” He flashed a smile. “At least in the motorbike I'm not going to hurt as much as I would on a horse.”

Virgil smiled quietly, shuffling awkwardly up the bed to rest against the headboard, “thank you for patching me up, you didn’t have to do that,” he offered meekly, “sorry for everything, John.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

John plodded over awkwardly and kissed him on the lips.

“Going to miss you too. Promise me you'll rest...and I'll come back in one piece.”

Outside, Scott noticed John's strange walk as he headed across towards his bike and the horses. 

“You alright?”

“Yeah, all the falling off horses yesterday caught up with me. We'll be fine, you just tell me what to do and I'll do my best.”


	8. Freedom

Later that morning, Virgil had just about managed to wash himself before he searched the rooms in main house for his stash of spare clothes. He pulled on pair of dark jeans he’d found hidden away in a drawer and even discovered a pale blue plaid button up shirt that remarkably still fitted his chest, though squeezing his biceps into it had been a bit of a struggle.

Mulling around the house, he had been given a duster and some polish, and was currently polishing photo frames on the dresser in the dining room. He smiled fondly of all the pictures of his brothers when they were younger, most with their mother. 

“How are you getting on, dear,”

Virgil jumped at the sound of his grandmas voice turning to the short woman, “not bad Grandma, I promise I’m not overdoing it,” he grinned.

“Would you prefer to be helping the stable hands? I’d hate for you to be bored all alone in here,” she offered, gently placing her hand on his arm.

“No,” Virgil answered quickly, “no I’d rather stay in here with you, could always go for a ride in the Tiger Moth later if you would want to?”

“Oh no, dear,” Grandma quipped, “I’m surprised the blasted thing made it here in the first place!”

Virgil laughed warmly, returning to his dusting.

It was agreed that to save the energy of the horse's, John would scout ahead on the bike and round up any stragglers on the return trip. This was fine, it meant Scott hung back with the creepy ranch hands whom some he knew from previous musters and John got to really let the old motorbike fly.

The bike was old, really old. John found it in a flea market in Alice Springs along with Gordon and Alan. All three of them at one stage were too short to ride the horses on some of the holidays they went on as a family, like the trails through the Canadian Alps and those crazy ones in the middle of the open plains in Mongolia. Dad believed to understand a country and its history, you need to get out and see the heart of it and the scars that had been left on it.

Alan eventually gave up his bike, but Gordon was still too short for riding horses so John kept his bike to ride alongside his twin brother. This worked out to an advantage, both of them having licenses for them early and able to travel to and from the universities they chose to study at without having to wait for their two older brothers to meet them and shuttle them around.

The bike was, like an extension of himself and the bonds with his family, or at the very least, the ties between him and Gordon.

“Do you see them?” Came Scott’s voice in his ear on a combead that he had been given. 

“Negative Scotty, no sign, may try veering a bit more southward.”

“Don't get too far ahead of us, John. This part of the land Grandma only half owns, she may have permission to graze the cattle out here but we have to respect anyone else on it.”

“FAB, Scott.”

It had been years since he felt this free. Ok so the bumping wasn't doing his hips and ribs favours, but to feel the wind whipping his hair at speed was to say at the very least, enjoyable.

He never learned to fly, to drive a car or hells, even swimming and running around a small yacht was a foreign pastime to him - but he loved his bike and how when he rode it everything just fell into place. He used to sometimes just go for random rides just to get his brain ticking over, solving problems and dealing with emotional stress just melted away on the back of the bike.

“Heh, you look like you're enjoying yourself there sport.” Scott’s voice joked on the com.

“It's been a while coming, had to sometime.”

“It’s good to hear you happy, John,” Scott called, observing the dust cloud that was his younger brother.

“Hey, Scott?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think Virgil would have really been alright to meet up with us later on? Be honest with me as I don't know how long you guys take to recover when your resting battle wounds.”

Scott pauses for a moment, “he looked rough back there I’ll be honest,” he replied thoughtfully, “but he’s had a good week of recovery too… you know how stubborn he can be, he’ll be along even if he’s agony… Tracy habit I guess.”

“Suppose so.” John veered the bike more northwards. “But has he really been resting? I've had to fix his stitches twice. I'm worried. If I'm forced to leave, what going to happen to him? He's needed me alot lately.” and I have with him too, he thought.

Scott furrowed his brow, “what’s he been doing to break his stitches? That takes some doing,” he hung back away from the rest of the ranch hands, “I’ve noticed he’s stopped talking to me about, well, anything recently… what’s up with him?”

“To be honest? I'm not sure. He doesn't tell me anything either.” John was not about to say the only way he found anything out was making Virgil cry. That wouldn't fly with Scott who'd niggle at details. “But your ‘friends’ back there had tied me unconscious to a horse so there's that.”

“They did what?!’ Scott bellowed with laughter, “Oh John I’m sorry, were you ok?” Scott had a feeling there was something John was withholding from him, but radio chatter was not the appropriate means of approaching the subject. He’d have to wait until later when they set up camp. 

“Did I look fine before we set out?” John's voice soured. “I didn't expect Virgil here, but I woke up and there he was. He must have gotten me off the damn animal somehow. Then later he was instructing me how to ride and I fell off the saddle and squashed him into the dirt. I say that explains everything to this point.”

Scott couldn’t have prevented the laughter that ensued even if he’d tried, “yeah, about his daring escape,” he queried, “the fuck was all that about? Oh man you should have seen dad and Alan when they figured out what happened.”

The sun was beginning to start its waning descent across the sky.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Alan so angry in my life!” Scott sniggered, “his inner brat really made quite the appearance. Dad however, well let’s just say that a nuclear bomb would have been preferable… I’m surprised he didn’t give himself an aneurysm!” 

John fell quiet and rode in silence, till eventually over the coms Scott heard, “Why do I have to go Scott? All I wanted was to keep an eye on Gordon and help people just like you. I never wanted to be exiled and forgotten about in the shadows. It isn't fair.”

Scott felt his heart ache for his brother. Though it had taken him a little time to get used to the idea that nothing about John had actually changed, he was just being honest with them all. He was still their brother, ever-caring and full of fun. Scott had spent a lot of time thinking about their childhood and growing up together. When his father had lashed out and disowned John, Gordon had kicked up merry hell. Scott had held him back long enough to step in himself and take on their father’s wrath to protect the hysterical twin. 

Scott couldn’t bare the thought of his family splitting apart like this. He had fought his father’s decision and, in turn, lost his Thunderbird. The eldest was now due to be sent to Thunderbird Five for the rest of his days as a member of International Rescue, where he’d be forced to listen to his brothers in distress and being POWERLESS to do anything about it. Because of this, Scott had developed a newfound respect for John and the job he had, and did to perfection.

“Johnny,” Scott signed sorrowfully, “we will figure out a way to get around this, I promise you that. I’m right by your side and I’m sure Virgil is too, Gordon will be yours forever, sorry about that,” he smiled, “and Alan just wants his plane back but, fucking hell we’ll fight this together, alright?”

Scott received nothing but radio silence from John.

“Look I’ve been a complete shit, I’ll admit that, and I’m so desperately sorry for that, but we are brothers and I will always have your back on this.”

“Scott, I get the feeling I'll never be allowed back, not after what I've done.”

Cocking his eyebrow slightly, Scott called his horse to a halt.

“What do you mean, John?” He asked carefully, “what have you done?”

The bike kept going, John flooring it as fast as it could go till it was out of sight from the cluster of men on horses.

“John?” Scott called, rewarded only with more radio silence and a dying sound of the motorbike’s engine as it speed out of sight. He growled in frustration, left to assume John’s disappearance was due to the story printed in the magazine he had presented him with. Perhaps sadness as the loss of his lover.

Encouraging his horse into a gallop, he caught up with the rest of the stable hands, circling around to the front of the pack and settling back in. 

Suddenly, the static cleared. “Cattle spotted, North by north east, other side of a large crater of a ravine. I doubt they're going anywhere so we can round them up tomorrow as I think it's going to be hard to drive them around it.”

“Sounds like you should scout out a campsite then John, see you in a short while,” Scott radioed across to his brother.

Informing the ranch hands that the cattle had been located, he lead them all to the location John had given him. There indeed was the heard on the other side of a huge deep ravine and by the looks of it, they had a very fruitful breeding season this year as it was three times the size as the one last year. Looking up, he could see the motorbike returning towards them, only to stop meters away so not to spook the horses. His brother then made a few gestures with his arms.

“That direction is the safest for the herd to go around, but it looks like a full days worth of maneuvering, even if you went across the gap with your horses now, you'd still have a full days worth of travel just to get to this side.”

“Alright then guys, you stay and get the camp set up,” he shouted to the ranch hands, “we’re going to get a bit of a closer look, come on, John,” Scott called, “HYAH!”

Scott’s horse took off at full speed as John caught up quickly on his motorbike.


	9. Desires

Virgil had returned to the guest house after a wonderful dinner with his Grandma. They had spoken a great deal about the summers they had spent at the ranch over the years, about their shared memories of his mother.

Having settled upon the large sofa, he had managed to pick up an art pad and a few pencils from the main house, he flicked open the book and stared blankly and the empty paper before him. 

His emotions had been swirling around so much over the past couple of days, so now came Virgil’s opportunity to spend some time extracting his thoughts to make them a physical object he could reflect on.

Virgil was having to use his right hand as opposed to the left that he usually favoured for flowing sketches. He began to draw through his mind’s eye, pencil moving in short sweeping strokes filling the room with quick scratching noises.

He hummed to himself in not particular tune as he drew, his mind picking out the details of his subject. 

The angular jawline… The soft textured hair… The slender neck and pronounced collar bones. Recalling each curve and line of John’s body that he had explored with his mouth and hands, Virgil added lines depicting the details.

Each intimate inch of John’s body was ingrained into Virgil’s mind and imagination. 

By the time Virgil had gone over the sketch to add stronger lines and shading, blending the graphite flakes with his finger, he was shocked at what he had created.

On the page in front of him, John was sprawled out suggestively, a seductive smile on his face.

Dropping the pencils and sketchbook to the floor, Virgil cast his mind back to the barn. The way John had been so self confident, sat atop the hay bale with the riding crop in hand. Fuck even the mere thought of John was enough to send blood rushing south. 

Feeling heat radiating off his own skin with desire, Virgil undid his pants and grabbed himself tightly, starting a rhythmic stroking along the length and back. 

He closed his eyes and remembered the noises the blonde had made when demonstrating how he wanted to be whipped. Virgil’s head fell back and a soft groan escaped his lips.

 

“Ahhhh...Virgil...nuuhh..”

Scott sat up on top of his sleeping bag. He thought it would be fun, John and himself sharing a tent just as if they were still kids.

He was beginning to regret it.

There was a sharp begging whimper from his younger brother who was asleep beside him.

Sleep talking. Or rather, having a very active sexual dream.

Scott would have normally found this sort of thing hilarious as John never really sleep talked, in fact finding him sleeping at all was a rarity. To be awake before John you usually had to stay awake the entire night, he was that much of an early bird.

“Aaaahh ffffuck….” Another yelp, this time his sibling moved a little before falling quiet. “...that...one...hurt….”

Scott stared at his sibling's back in the dark, mortified. The sounds being uttered sounded painful but the words - those gave him every reason to be concerned.

“Virgil...uhhhhh...Virgil….bite harder…..”

 

Virgil began to think of all the teasing that had followed in the barn, which only served to increase his pace, moaning louder now. Virgil finally allowed himself to remember the moment that John had entered him. The thought caused his hips to buck violently. The moments of discomfort had been replaced by a feeling of complete ecstasy after John had given him time to adjust. 

“Fuck,” he gasped, rotating his wrist with each desperate stroke, “uhhhhh!”

Virgil imagined John calling his name over and over. A familiar knitting feeling in his lower stomach informed him he wouldn’t hold out much longer, desperately craving the release he had been deprived of so far. 

One final stroke and his back arched, every muscle tightened and he groaned his lover’s name loudly. 

 

“Uhhhh! Vir - Virgil….ahhhh!”

Scott was leaning over his sibling, debating if he should wake him or not. 

“Don't s-stop...treat me badly Virge…”

Scott had heard enough.

“John!”

 

Virgil lay there panting, coming down from his fantasy. He groaned as he wiped his hand on his boxer shorts. Glancing down at his artwork, he smiled to himself.

Padding over to the bathroom, he removed his clothes and looked at the reflection of himself in the mirror. His body was nothing like the slim build his brother possessed. It was marked with old scars he has acquired over the many years of rescues. Virgil was the most muscular of his brothers, he’d always been larger than them. Conscious of this fact, he flexed his large arm and chest muscles, watching them ripple under his skin. He wondered what on Earth John saw in him and all of his bulk.

He frowned, turning away from the mirror to bathe himself, being mindful to avoid the dressing his brother had kindly applied that morning.

Slipping himself into the bed and pulling up the covers, he rolled onto his uninjured side and pulled the other pillow into his arms, holding it against his chest. It still smelt of John. 

 

“What is it now?” John groaned, being dragged out of his slumber. He was starting to feel tiredness catching up with him in a not so pleasant way. He was going to need real sleep in a bed at some point, at least two days of it just to catch up.

“You were, errr…” Scott faltered. Should he tell him he was having a sex fantasy outloud involving their brother?

“Was what?” 

“Having a nightmare.” Scott lied. Even if John was, it didn't mean it was real...but the idea that it even crossed his subconsciousness in any shape or form was worrying. “You sure everything is ok between you and Virgil? If you don't mind me asking.” Afterall, he considered, there could be another reason behind the sex dream - Scott had a few strange ones now and then and while he'd never acted on them, parts of them had some real world basis from worrying about friends and family, their long gone globe trotting mother… John could just be stressing about Virgil and accidentally merged his worries into his sexual desires by mistake.

Possibly. The brain isn't always as straightforward as that.

“Are you sure it's not you having a nightmare and annoying me about it?” John groaned, pulling the sleeping bag over his head. Scott had interrupted a nice dream and he was frustrated that he wasn't able to go back to it.

“You know...maybe I am.”

“That's the spirit.”

“But fuck, it would be terrifying if I was dreaming about you dreaming about having sex aloud, right?”

John bolted upright. “You what?!”

“Easy, John. Just say-”

“Like you can talk! You have sexual fantasies in your sleep too! Why shouldn't I? Does the fact I'm probably dreaming about a bloke making love to me that hard to fathom?”

“Woah, John I didn't-”

“Course not! You never stop and think about what comes out your mouth. You can be as bad as Gordon sometimes!” He stood up in his shorts and tshirt pyjamas and stormed out of the tent.

“That could have gone better.” Scott mumbled


	10. From bad to worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Massive kudos to lexi for the detailed rescue! utterly brilliant!

Morning rolled around and the clouds looked dark on the horizon. Storms were going to reach them if they didn’t get a move on and move the cattle.

Scott scoured the campsite, he owed John and explanation for his stupidity last night. The bike was still there with the horses but there was no John, in fact after a search, there was no trace.

He made the executive decision to leave camp set up while they went to bring the cattle around the ravine. Maybe his sibling would come back by then, after some time alone to cool off. He kept an eye out for him while on the horse, stopping to dismount and check into the ravine itself incase his clumsy brother wandered into it and fell to the bottom somewhere in the dark.

There was nothing. John had gone. 

Scott made another decision, if he wasn't back at camp when they returned, they'd split up to find him.

Surely he wouldn't have gone far in bare feet.

 

Cracking an eye open to observe the blinding morning light, Virgil groaned and stretched. He yawned theatrically and rolled onto his back, blinking the sleep from his eyes.

He stood up and pulled his jeans on, leaving his boxers off having used them to clean himself the night before. Virgil chuckled to himself, he understood why Gordon never wore underwear, it felt wonderfully free. Heading to the living room, Virgil picked the art book and pencils up, hiding them under the bed out of sight. Upon entering the room again, he noted a small scrap of paper that had been shoved under the front door. Picking up the crumpled bit of paper, Virgil unfolded it and struggled to decipher the scrawled note on it.

‘ watch your back ’

Virgil looked at the note, confused. Who the hell would send him something as pathetic as thi- 

“Oh...” Virgil realised aloud.

A ranch hand with a broken nose. 

That was the only logical option. He understood why John felt uncomfortable here with those guys about. Knowing they had been here, where he was staying, whilst he had been sleeping was unnerving to say the least. 

He left the piece of paper on the windowsill next to the door, before leaving the house to go and retrieve a fresh shirt from the main building. Virgil made his way across the the dusty ground, the early morning sun warming his bare back.

When they reached the herd, Scott started to assign roles to the men until he noticed one missing. 

“Hey, anyone seen Kelvin?” He demanded.

“Unsure,” one of the men said. “He seemed to ride off after we all settled in for the night.”

“Probably afraid of real work.” Another joked. “Chances are he went back to your Grans farm.”

“What, in the dark?”

“Never said he arrived there.” Another bloke laughed. “He'd have gotten lost. We were going to send someone looking if he hadn't made it to the ranch by sunset tonight.”

“Hey that makes me wonder, where's that city boy brother of yours?”

“Stormed out to cool off after a bit of an argument.”

“Ha!”

“Except he doesn't know how to survive out here alone like Kelvin. If he doesn't show up at camp we're on a search around the immediate area.” Scott said, more worried now that he voiced his siblings disappearance aloud.

“Agreed. He's not too bad, blondie. He was a dab hand at helping us shearing the sheep, fast too! Even if he can't ride a horse worth pittince. We'll certainly help.”

“Good.”

 

As Virgil strolled across the ranch track, he decided to take a detour to see whether Alan kept anything of interest stashed in the biplane. Perhaps clothes… Upon reaching the plane, he spotted a fully tacked up horse tied to the side of the stable barn. 

Waking over, he untied the horse, noticing the ample supplies strapped to the saddle. Most of the stable hands had gone with Scott and John to round up the cattle, so it was strange to see this horse ready to go. Perhaps the poor creature had been left tied up out here overnight!

Virgil led the horse into the barn towards some food and the drinking trough before tasking himself with removing all the saddle and tack.

He suddenly felt leather reins thrown over his head and pulled tightly around his neck. A sharp kick to the back of his legs forced him to his knees. He reached his hands up in a panic to claw at the leather as he was choked roughly. 

“He’s all yours, Kelvin,” came the low voice behind him. 

Virgil coughed and gasped, eyes wide in fear.

“Told ya t’ watch yer back,” Kelvin drawled, moving into view, a huge bruise covering his face and his nose crooked to one side where Virgil had unleashed his rage.

The man behind Virgil grabbed a handful of his chestnut hair and yanked his head up to face the ranch hand.

Kelvin smiled and retracted his right hand ready to strike. Virgil shut his eyes and tensed. The ranch hand’s fist connected with his left cheekbone with a sickening crack, his head held firmly in place by the man behind. 

Vision was turning fuzzy at the edges as the pressure on his neck increased.

Kelvin’s cackle was shrill and unwelcome, “ha! There ya go, I’m all square wi’ ya now,” he spoke as Virgil spat out a mouthful of blood, “he’s all yers now, Alex… Have fun wi’ the cocksucker.”

With that, Virgil had been left alone with the man holding him captive. 

 

Scott rode into the homestead with one of the cattlemen following him. “Right, you grab my other brother and I'll get the biplane and - what's the horse doing wandering around?” He slowed his steed down to a canter then a trot.

His brow furrowed. “Argus! Need your shotgun please!” he called to the older man as he dismounted, heading for the stable.

Virgil recognised Scott’s voice shouting somewhere outside the barn. He tried to shout for help but was quickly dragged by the reins around his neck into an empty stall by Alex. Now that the man had moved in front of Virgil, straddling his thighs and pinning him in place, he could see he was a great deal taller than himself.

Alex wrapped the reins tighter around his large hand, keeping pressure on his prisoner and covering Virgil’s mouth with his other hand, towering over the smaller man and smiling sadistically. 

Scott wasn't about to ask questions. He raised the shotgun and fired it through the opening. If anyone was in the way, they were not getting mercy.

A few of the extra ranch hands spilled out into the waiting arms of Argus who, unlike Virgil, was built like a boulder and running into him or getting clotheslined by his outstretched arm was like being beaten over the head with a steel crowbar.

He left Argus to mop up and entered the stables, gun at the ready, kicking open the empty stalls.

Upon hearing the gunshot, his captor had tightened his hold on Virgil, who was now struggling to maintain consciousness. He was mumbling his brother’s name breathlessly, desperately hoping he’d be found. More gunshots followed. Virgil wondered what was being shot at? 

Scott had been picking the stalls at random, heck he even fired at the door of two of them as he made his way through the stable. He loaded the gun again and aimed it, ready to blast the third set of doors.

There was no verbal warning. He just fired.

There was a loud thud and a yell behind the doors followed by a strangled breath and “HOLY SHIT SCOTT... YOU COULD HAVE SHOT ME!”

As the door was kicked open, Virgil was crawling towards him in a panic. He looked like he'd gone through hell but that wasn't his main concern.

It was the man with his brains splattered all over the back of the stable wall that made him sneer. 

Luckily, Texas in the year 2060 had rules - whatever happened in the desert, stayed in the desert. If you get killed, no one's going to care. Laws about killing out here is so loosely defined, it's a wonder there's any rules at all.

Virgil ripped the reins from around his neck and laid gasping for air on the floor. 

“You… fucking… BASTARD!” Virgil hissed, voice strained between each breath,” do you have… ANY… idea how fucking close… you just came to… SHOOTING ME?” 

His face and naked chest was now covered in large amounts of blood, fragments of skull and bits brain matter. He’d watched his attacker receive a shotgun blast to the back of his head and had his lifeless body fall on top of him. Virgil shuddered and quelled his urge to vomit.

“F-FUCK… SCOTT!” Virgil cried out.

“Are you done?”

The younger brother blinked in shock as he saw Scott still holding the loaded shotgun in his direction.

“Am I… done? Virgil spat more blood into the floor, rubbing his neck, “fuck…”

“Relax you big baby. You'd have done the same. You know the farm rules, either pull your weight or piss off. Unwanted behavior will be delivered to justice.” Scott helped him up off the ground and inspecting him. “Bloody hell, you're not even in a state to be out of bed!”

He then spat. “I was going to enlist your help, but I think I'm going to have to keep you here with grandma. Your no use to me right now.”

Virgil grabbed him roughly. “What the hell are you on about?!” 

Scott freed himself. “John's missing. I need to take the tiger moth and I ‘WAS’ going to get you on the back of a damn horse because your scouting skills are better than mine!”

“How long has he been-”

“He’s been out in the heat in nothing but his pajamas for several hours, Virgil. I had to give him benefit of the doubt he'd come back to the camp but he hasn't returned and we've been looking all around the area to find him and come up empty. I need the plane to fly over and get a better view but if he's down in the ravine somewhere - Virgil, I'm praying he isn't as a fall like that…” he swallowed and took a deep breath. “Let's just hope he didn't.”

 

John shivered, forcing him to move. The sound of gravel shifting under him made him pause until it stopped. It took sometime too.

He could remember storming out of the tent and wandering off into the dark with a shovel, since the only way you could use the toilet you needed to dig a hole, but that was just a ruse incase anyone decided to follow him.

He was angry. No… livid that he quite possibly blurted out his feelings for Virgil in his sleep.

There was no way he was going to return back to camp, not if it involved twenty billion questions, having Scott possibly interfering with his life more than their father was and worst case scenario - end up being committed.

The idea of his strange sexual attraction being seen as a permanent mental illness made him feel sick in his stomach, especially since people with real problems need more help, care and understanding than someone who is interested in jumping into bed and doing the horizontal reverse mambo with their own brother.

The Texas canyon plains could swallow him for all he cared right now. It would be breaking his promise to Virgil but there was honestly nothing left for him at home anymore.

He had dug a hole, fucked his sibling and was now left to lay in it for dead.

He wandered around through the heat of the day too, well and truly lost with no way to get back. Climbing along a rocky outcrop to find shade seemed like a good idea at the time to find a safe place to sleep and wait till nightfall but here he was lying half way down a steep rocky canyon side because of one wrong step….

He lulled his head to look over the ledge he lay sprawled on. It was a VERY long way down if he had not landed where he was.

It could be possible to climb all the way back up, but one more slip could mean it would be game over for good. 

If he could move, that is.

At least no one could find him here, not that they would really want to. Right now he was right on par with garden slugs in terms of usefulness, frustration and all out hatred.

Maybe Virgil will forget about him? He hoped so. The big bloke deserved so much better than a lousy fuck from a brother heck he probably thought it was only pity sex anyway.

John's chest stung just thinking about it. His heart felt so incredibly broken, just like the rest of him.

 

“Just try and stop me going, I’ll go on out ahead and get a head start,” Virgil barked, concern filling his voice, “it’ll be easy enough for me to trace your tracks far enough before you get airborne.”

Scott handed him a radio earpiece for communication, the younger man took it and fixed it in place, hearing the low hum of static.

Virgil pushed past the eldest and grabbed one of the horse blankets, throwing it over his shoulders in the absence of an actual shirt.

Pausing and turning back to Scott, the younger man sighed, “thank you, Scooter… you really saved my arse back there… But… if you ever point a shotgun blindly into my direction again, I’ll cut your fucking cock off.”

Not waiting for a reply, he exited the stable barn. Mounting Scott’s waiting horse, Virgil squeezed his thighs together sharply, the horse reared onto its hind legs and took off into a gallop.

Pushing all thoughts of fear to one side, he rose and fell in time with the horses movements, minimising any unnecessary straining of his aching muscles.

“Not before I'd blow your brains out first.” Scott mumbled. “And I just might if what I heard last night has a grain of truth behind it.”

By the time Virgil could hear the engine of the biplane behind him, he could see the camp up ahead. After the few hours pushing the horse and himself to the limit, his adrenaline was running dry, fatigue taking its place. Scott had ignored all but one of his attempted conversations, choosing to reply only when Virgil had said he was able to see the camp on the horizon.

He wasn’t sure what he had done to piss his older brother off but it was definitely fear and not relief he had felt when he saw his brother stood angrily in front of him with a shotgun pointing in his direction.

Scott was furious. The way Virgil was being tortured earlier had done nothing to improve his mood and the way he had discovered him made him think of the marks on John’s body as he changed into his pajamas in the tent. Those were not marks someone would usually have and quite frankly after alot of thinking he was connecting two and two together - if Virgil helped give him those marks then so have mercy on his brother's hide when he was done.

Virgil was skirting the outside of the camp, “where shall we start, Scott?” He called, hoping for a response, he didn’t want to be checking places that had already been investigated. 

“Try North,” Scott snapped.

He noticed a thin line carved into the dusty ground that led away from the camp. Adjusting the reins, Virgil followed it out of the camp until it stopped about a half a mile later. It had been pretty direct until this point, no deviations, so he decided to proceed as if it were still there. 

Virgil heard the engine of the biplane spool up as it accelerated away ahead of him, increasing their chances of finding their brother.

Thunder rolled.

 

Rain pattered down and drenched the exposed ledge, water rolling down and dripping into the void.

John let out a groan, trying to move his face out of its stinging needles against his skin. Wasn't any use, especially when you lay on your front and couldn't move your shoulders, feeling like they were disconnected from the body.

He kept thinking of Virgil and how silly he had been. Showing him it was ok to be rough with him so early was a mistake, hell telling him he liked him was the biggest one.

He didn't want to take it back though, even if it caused more trouble for those dark brown eyes and deep auburn waves. But if dad was going to get rid of him anyway, what was the point holding back on the hero worship and admiration even if it was a bit wrong?

Until now he never thought about his physical attributes or how dangerous being entangled in those arms could be. John loved his gentle personality, how easy it was to make him laugh and how caring he was, even towards someone like him who didn't rightly deserve any compassion. The love, creativity and mental strength John lacked was so defiant within his brother's soul it was what drew him in - not what he looked like or could physically do.

That was going to be the hardest thing to let go of, if he was to give in to the pain and let the numbness take over his body, swallowing him into blackness.

 

They had been searching for what seemed like hours, Scott having to pop back to the ranch to refuel every so often. 

Virgil was soaked and shivering from the rain. Though thankfully the blood and debris from Alex’s head were washing slowly away from his exposed chest. 

Coming up to a large canyon, Virgil was almost tearing his hair out with worry. The faultline in the earth ran for as far as he could see in both directions. 

There were lightning bolts streaking across the sky up ahead.

“Scott,” Virgil called through, “this is it, I can’t get any further, there’s no sign of hi-” he trailed off, distracted by the crumbling tip of the canyon, it looked like freshly disturbed rock and soil.

“Scratch that Scotty, fly over the canyon, keep your eye out directly below my position,” Virgil ordered, dismounting the horse with a grunt and hurrying to the edge of the canyon, attempting to search over the edge himself. 

The Tiger Moth roared overhead and turned sharply to dip over the canyon. 

“Woah Virgil, you may need to wait till I check it out. That ledge looks unsafe and with you only having one arm in the rain it's best to be safe than sorry.”

Virgil got up reluctantly and returned to the horse, searching the bag strapped to the back of the saddle and retrieving some rope and beginning to secure it around the strong animal’s shoulders. Securing the other end of the rope across his chest and under his arms, Virgil led the horse to the edge of the canyon and leant over the top to try and get a good look.

“Your not going to believe this,” Scott’s voice had a mixed emotional edge to it, “But your going to have to grab Argus and the others, and wait till I come back with my ‘bird.”

“Where is he Scott?” Virgil asked hurriedly, turning around ready to abseil down and get to John, “How far down is he? Is he okay?”

“Virgil, if you've gone down there instead of doing what you're told, I will do more than aim a shotgun at your head.” Scott’s voice growled. “There's no room down there for you anyway without putting him in further danger.” He hissed. “I'm already going to bang your heads together after this and you'll be lucky if I keep what I know from father this time!” Truthfully Scott didn't know what to do with the information he had, but the threat was real enough to make the figure on the ground by the horse hesitate. Scott didn't want to have to use that as a threat, but it was better than losing another sibling, heck both of them if that ledge didn't hold. He didn't want to lose either if them, regardless of what they had done but it didn't mean he had to approve of it.

Virgil froze, staring at the cockpit of the biplane. His body was rooted to the spot in fear.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?” He bellowed over the radio, static crackling, “you’re not mobile control right now Scott, and you’re not in charge! Our brother is down there and you expect me to just sit and wait?”

“Virgil, you go down there, your added weight will make that ledge give way. John's barely on it, but he's not moving hence why it hasn't come loose. Then there's the boulder -”

Virgil howled angrily in frustration, “then you better get a fucking move on,” he shouted, “come on, spit it out, Scott… you've clearly got something to say to me.”

He stood with his arms held wide from his sides, goading his older brother. 

“Other shit can wait. Getting equipment now, YOU get extra hands, we're going to need them!” The plane shot overhead at speed heading back for the homestead. At least bringing back the supersonic rocket wasn't going to take very long - in fact it was at least two minutes, and it was already maneuvering around the canyon trying to get a hold of the boulder hazard so anyone climbing down wasn't going to get hurt or have it crush John and plummet into the void.

Having returned to the canyon with the other ranch hands, Virgil was still seething with anger. He just needed John to be safe, he could deal with whatever the world threw at him as long as his brother was there.

He watched as Thunderbird One caught hold of the boulder and shifted it away with skilful ease. Stood next to Argus, Virgil shuffled impatiently awaiting the next instruction.

“Right, Virgil, get one of the lighter cattle men, possibly Davies and have Argus lower him down with the others assistance. You're going to get in Thunderbird One when I hover over so we can lower the air stretcher and your going to carefully move John into it, got that?”

“F.A.B. Scott,” Virgil called, relaying the information to Argus before moving away from the group awaiting the hoist to be winched down to him.   
Scott hovered the craft over them and lowered it enough to open the cargo hatch for Virgil to dive into before flying back around and using the vertical jets to hover into position, ready to lower Virgil when he gave the signal. The bloke known as ‘Davies’ was already scaling the canyon and had slipped a few times despite being securely lowered and Scott held his breath thinking that his brother almost tried that one handed without backup to support him. If Virgil had, he would have been dangling from the rope he had, or lying dead at the bottom if the canyon.

Virgil equipped himself with one of the harnesses around his hips and clipped onto the winch ready to go. He couldn’t see what was happening but Scott had gone silent. 

“Everything okay up there, Scott? I’m clipped in ready to go when you are,” he called, removing the horse blanket from his back, his upper body exposed once more. 

It was amazing how quick they had slipped back into rescue mode, Scott meticulously organising everything from the cockpit of his machine. 

“Sorry, concentrating on not making the jets a problem for you.” Scott replied. “Please be careful down there.” With that being said with more feelings mixed into it than he meant to, he flicked the controls for the winch and kept an eye on his diagnostics panel which told him how far he had cable wise to lower and how close he was to the rockface.

Virgil stepped confidently out of the mighty machine and dangled from the cable, stretcher hanging below him. As he descended, he called out small adjustments for Scott to make to his position so as not to disturb the precarious ledge.

There came a point where Scott couldn’t risk getting any closer due to the potential of the stretcher catching in the stormy wind and making contact with John or the ledge on which he lay.

Virgil looked on with worry at his brother’s motionless body, his clothes were soaked from the rain and there were scrapes and cuts littering his exposed skin. 

Reaching forward as far as the harness would allow, Virgil attempted to secure a harness around John with the aid of Davies, struggling to succeed in the wind and rain that was hammering them along with the turbulence from Thunderbird One. 

Davies looked terrified as they both dangled in mid air, next to John, not quite able to complete securing the harness.

Without hesitating, Virgil un-clipped his own harness from the cable and leant further towards John. Finally able to thread the slip under his brothers armpits, he secured him in case of any sudden movements. 

“What the hell are you doing! Clip yourself back on!” Davies squeaked, Virgil hoped too quietly for Scott to hear over the radio above the roaring noise of the thrusters.

Virgil gently pulled his younger brother’s harness with his good arm, using the arm in the cast to steady himself against the cable. Davies did most of the hard work, using the cliff face to brace his feet as he pulled the unconscious blonde carefully onto the stretcher. Virgil quickly strapped John into the stretcher and stood up with a foot either side of John to stabilize them both.

“Got him secured Scott, ready for retrieval.” He called to Scott. 

Davies stared at him in disbelief, “you’re crazy! Clip yourself back on already!” The cattle hand shouted this time.

Virgil winced inwardly as he clipped his own harness back onto the cable. “Alright, really ready to go.” He muttered gruffly, unable to accept the other man was one of the nice ones.


	11. Secrets out

Scott sat in dad's old bedroom by the double bed overseeing the recovery of two brothers for the best part of the week. When he had to stretch, he roamed the farm, scared off all the ranch hands connected to beating up Virgil and only keeping on the men of the cattle run whom assisted with the search and rescue, both Davies and Argus upgraded to permanent staff even though Scott had known them as waifs that usually were only there every year for the cattle drive. The new jobs were accepted with vigour, they always liked how the Tracy homestead was run and usually abided by the rules as it was the best maintained ranch around.

He also found time to bury the dead man in an unmarked grave near the canyon, where no one would find it. It made him think about some of the tough decisions he was going to have to make once Virgil was well enough and started to get aggressive because he wouldn't like the train of the conversation. 

He was dreading having it.

Occasionally Grandma left food and drinks on the bedside table, pat him on the shoulder adjust the bed sheets before bustling out again.

Virgil, after the initial arguing over him resting, was finally lying down and occasionally he would sneeze as he caught a cold from having exposed wounds to the elements and the lack of immunity to viral pathogens from the lack of rest.

The silence was broken too by John, bandaged up beside Virgil in a state of high fever, sometimes calling out for Virgil, Scott and his twin. Scott regularly changed the wet cloth on his brow that was soaking up the heat, hoping it would ease the pain screaming behind his temples.

Late one evening, Scott was awoken from his watchful position sitting by the bed by John, calling out for their dad.

He wasn't the only one to be disturbed by the cry, of the beginning that was being uttered from his feverish lips.

Virgil jolted awake at the sound of his brother’s cry. He shifted on the bed running his hand through John’s sweat-soaked hair, soothing him slightly, “shhh, s’okay Johnny,” he mumbled sleepily, “you’re ok, Scotty and me are here.”

“Don't...want...dad… please...don't say that…”

“Jeez, I really feel for him with these nightmares,” Virgil muttered, sitting himself up in the bed, looking from John to Scott, “something to do with how dad reacted you think?”

“Worse Than that, I'm afraid Virgil.” Scott couldn't hide the upset tone in his voice. “Dad fully disowned him.”

Virgil used every single ounce of self control he possessed not to scream at the top of his lungs in anger and hatred for their father. He clenched his fists, fingernails digging hard into his skin. It took a while before he trusted his voice to be at a reasonable level.

“For what?” He spat venomously, “For being gay? Shit Scott what is this family coming to.”

“Easy, Virgil.” Scott said calmly. “It got a little more complicated than that...and I think it's more so now, if you get my drift.” He indicated to John silently. “Who made the first move - and for goodness sake's just remain calm, even if it's only for his benefit...and the truth please.”

Virgil felt every muscle tighten and a thick fear settle in as his adrenaline soared. Fight or Flight? He hoped somehow his face was not giving away the utter panic he felt. He knew better than to try and play dumb and lie to Scott, he’d obviously figured it out.

He cleared his throat, “John,” Virgil muttered calmly, not giving into the feeling of his world imploding in front of him.

Scott sighed heavily. “Figures...explains alot of his behavior since I've been here. Well...look...hmmmm…” Scott tried to figure out how to approach the topic without coming across as hostile. He didn't like or agree with it but had to admit on that ride out he hadn't seen John smile for a very long time and while the ‘sex dream’ caught him off guard, he had to admit the fact his brother liked anyone in that way was - in some areas - an improvement.

He gave up. “I don't know how you'll keep this from dad. We're already losing the fight with him over John as it is. Don't really want to lose both of you, if I can help it.”

Virgil felt the bile rising in his throat as Scott spoke so openly about such a subject matter. Swallowing back the urge to empty his stomach, he sat quietly with his head hung low, “I can’t believe we’re talking about this.”

Scott raised his eyebrows. “Neither can I, but here we are. You could have said ‘no, it's wrong’ and walked away...but it's probably more complicated than that so forget I implied it. Can't say from John's perspective it wasn't going to happen, he only ever has us these days but you… I'm a little surprised. Can't say I'm not a little shocked.”

“You don’t understand, Scott,” Virgil sighed.

“Oh? I think I do. You love each other right? A little more than standard sibling affection? Look, not about to tell you what you can and can't do, despite EVERYTHING in our society suggesting that I SHOULD and how grossed out an confused I feel about it but it's not going to change that fact you're in love with each other in a way that you shouldn't be.”

Scott let out another sigh. “You can't choose who you fall in love with, despite what everyone thinks.”

“I love him so much, Scotty,” Virgil confessed quietly, looking at John’s sleeping form next to him, “I honestly don’t think… Scratch that… I KNOW I won’t be able to go home without him. Dad may as well disown me too… I don’t expect you to approve of, or even acknowledge that. I can’t speak for John in all of this, but I’m not leaving him.”

“I don't blame you. It's been far too quiet at home without him around, even Gordon feels it, though not having paint all over my bedroom and my clothes glued to the ceiling is nice… but weirdly unsatisfying.” Scott smiled crookedly.

Virgil smiled weakly, “what am I going to do, Scott?” he begged, “relationships are new to me.”

Scott shrugged. “No one is an expert on them, if they say they are they're fucking lying.” He thought for a moment. “The only ones who'll know what's right is you yourselves. Maybe...maybe if your unsure,” he swallowed, beginning to mentality curse about the fact he was acknowledging his brother's incest, “Let John lead you more….learn him better from things he….might ask.” He shut his eyes cursing his graphic imagination. He knew he was going to be stuck forever having nightmares with John and Virgil having sex - rough sex come to think of it after the stuff John mumbled in his sleep - and hoped that neither of them hurt each other because of it.

Virgil blushed averted his gaze away to the window, “fuck… Scott, ugh that’s not what I meant!” 

“What? You expecting John to come with a manual? Would it be damn easier?” Scott chuckled. “It would contain stuff like, ‘how to make life confusing for everyone around you’ and ‘how to piss dad off for life’.”

Virgil couldn’t prevent the laugh that escaped his lips, “thanks Scott,” he smiled, “I won’t pretend I can imagine what this is like for you.” 

Virgil felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He settled back against the headboard and looked down at John, only to be met with his blue eyes staring back, but only long enough to catch his gaze before shutting again.

He still needed time.

Scott slapped his legs. “Well, seeing that your alot better, are you ok If I leave him in yours and Grandma’s care? We still have to round up all that cattle, most of it wandered off further out so may take us a few extra days to get them into the paddocks for sorting which ones are ready for the butcher's. You’ll be alright, right? No mischief until you both well?” 

“Scott… for fucks sake… stop it, please?” Virgil cringed as his brother stood up, “I’ll look after him, don’t worry. Sorry I can’t help you out.”

“Huh?” Scott blinked in surprise till it made sense what Virgil meant “EWW NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I -” He coughed. “Never mind, just look after him ok? You and your blasted innuendo.”

Virgil chuckled to himself, “good luck with the cattle, Scotty,” he paused to get out of bed and walk round to his older brother, pulling him into a hug, “see you in a few days.”


	12. Almost tantric

“Virgil?” 

A day after Scott had left, Virgil awoke to a very quiet voice calling his name.

“Virge...you awake?”

“Hmm?” Came the low-pitched groaned response from Virgil, “am now,” he yawned, stretching out like a cat.

“Good.” John whispered. He moved his head to double check for his own curiosity. The action took some effort as being sick left him pretty weak, but the fact he was moving was a sign he was healing and recovering.

Virgil rolled over to face his brother “morning,” he smiled, “how are you feeling?”

“Like I need a wash.” His siblings nose wrinkled, he hated being dirty. “And...hungry.”

“Why don’t I go and get you some breakfast, I’ll cook whatever you want and bring it up for you, sound good? Then you can have a shower and get into some clean clothes,” Virgil offered, lifting his hand to caress John’s jawline.

“Toast.” John mumbled. “Eggs on toast...with bacon.” It was so simple, but then when you ate mostly salads and foods that would keep while in space for months at a time, real home cooked food was a luxury. It explained the wolfing down of grandmas big apple pies, strudels, roast dinners… if it was cooked, he ate it, much to Grandma Tracy”s delight.

Virgil grinned, “Eggs on toast with bacon coming right up! Poached, fried or scrambled?”

“Runny...really runny...you could dip sausages in it.”

“Ha! Your wish is my command,” Virgil laughed, leaning to kiss John on the forehead before clambering out of bed, “I’ll be back shortly.”

Making his way to the large kitchen, Virgil spotted Grandma slipping her boots on.

“Morning Grandma!” He called, “where are you headed?”

The older lady turned around smiling, “morning dear, good to see you’re recovering well from your cold, I’m just off for a walk up to the summer house, figured I would get a day off in the sun before your brother gets back with the cattle. Help yourself to breakfast, I’ll be back later, dear.”

Waving her out the door, Virgil got on with the task of preparing breakfast.

John had managed to crawl out of the bed and wander out into the hallway of the second story and trundled rather sleepily into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

It needed to be freezing cold.

Not because he needed to wake up, but because once after a shift change, Alan had tinkered with the one on board the station and the result was burns to a large part of his body. Thankfully they were not too severe, however it meant he was never able to have a hot shower again from paranoia.

Virgil poured some of the freshly squeezed orange juice he had prepared into two tall glass tumblers and set them on the tray along with the rest of the cooked breakfast. He picked the tray up and made his way over to the stairs back up to the bedroom. John wasn't there. 

Putting the food down on the bedside table, he went to look for him and paused, smiling in the hallway when he heard water in the bathroom.

John was humming. The water felt really good, massaging his skin which didn't look that bad once all the bandages were off, though he probably slept something shocking for a long time.

“Ergh...head hurts….” He muttered, resting it against the cool ties as he felt a wave of heat engulf him behind his eyes. Hopefully breakfast would fix that, along with tea so strong it was like tar.

Knocking on the bathroom door, Virgil pushed it open and stepped inside, “everything ok, John?” He asked, “your breakfast is in the bedroom when you’re ready.”

Catching sight of his brothers face, Virgil frowned, “John? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“Little hot. Will be ok. Still sick but we're good.” He handed Virgil the little bar of soap and the pink loafer that lived in the shower tub. “Want to help?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Virgil replied, a cheeky smile on his face as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and removed the loose joggers, discarding them on the floor by John’s clothes. 

He jumped into the shower and let out a cry, stumbling backwards against the tiles, “fucking hell John! That’s freezing!”

“Good, don't touch it.” John glanced over his shoulder and gave Virgil a cocky smile “Same genes as Gordon, remember?” Though John hated swimming, you couldn't deny their shared love for inhospitable conditions. Twins who were complete opposites with so many similarities it was mind blowing. Virgil knew he'd have to keep his wits about him, the dangers of loving John could lead to liking Gordon too in the same fashion...something that didn't bare thinking about, especially when John was standing in a position that was screaming to be made love to.

Stepping forward, Virgil did his best to avoid the frigid flow of water, he curled his arms around underneath John’s. Pressing his chest against the younger man’s back he dragged the soapy loofa slowly across any skin he could reach. 

“Mmmm..” John purred. “Thank you.” He leaned back a little into Virgil's strong arms, tilted his head back against his collarbone and rested his cheek on his chest. His face was hot and so was his body in contrast to water the coldness was like heaven on feaverish skin. He rested his hands on his lovers and let them follow along as he was lightly scrubbed until the hands ventured lower and he could feel Virgil pressing against his lower back.

All hard and ready.

He lowered his own hands and reached behind, shifting Virgil where he really wanted to be.

“Aaahh!” He gasped, falling forward a little against the tiles, but it was worth it having Virgil right there - making him whole.

“Fuck! Uhh… John!” Virgil growled as he adjusted to the tightness he felt around him, this new sensation sending his mind into ecstasy.

He reached out a hand to steady himself on the wall, experimentally rolling his hips forward, earning a beautiful moaning sound from John. 

The water temperature was now a pleasurable level, his skin on fire as they moved together. Virgil brought his mouth to nip tenderly at John’s neck, sucking softly after. Dropping the loofa from his other hand, he took John within his fist and stroked in time with the rolling of his hips.

“Nuhhh!” John's hands slapped the tiles in front of him to stop him falling to his knees. Virgil felt far wider than he anticipated though it wasn't unwelcome - he was just as desperate for attention as his brother was and frankly if he was made to be the one taking all that was to be dished out - he wasn't going to say no. 

Only downside facing this way was he couldn't reciprocate any of the attention and lavish it back though when Virgil leant forward and grabbed a mouth full of his shoulder and a fist full of hair in an attempt to get him to stand the yelps of pleasure escaped far louder than before encouraging his lover to go deeper and by gods, did he ever try!

Feeling himself getting close, Virgil focused his attention on his lover’s body. Pushing his hand off the wall, he began caressing down John’s chest, digging his nails quickly into the pronounced hip bone he found.  
Continuing to stroke John hard with his other hand, he squeezed slightly harder and flicked his thumb over the slit before whispering in his lover’s ear, “I want to make you scream my name.”

He was rewarded with an out of breath chuckle, followed by, “Gotta earn it, first, Apollo.” John was almost at tipping point but if Virgil wanted him to beg he had news for him, he'd have to force it. It wouldn't take much, one more sharp bite would be enough to make him lose everything in one go.

But he wasn't going to tell him that. He'd find out sooner or later.

Growling in frustration, Virgil began stroking faster and thrusted as deep as he could. The tight knotting sensation returning signalled that he wouldn’t last much longer.  
To silence his own screams of pleasure he automatically sunk his teeth into the soft flesh between John’s neck and shoulder. 

To his surprise, the younger Tracy threw himself back into him as his head snapped back fiercely crying out, “Aah!Virgil! Uhhh!Virgil!” As the biggest release of build up came out of his system, similar to sneeze, but far lower down. Virgil’s hand was pretty much coated, the water failing to remove the warm sticky substance.

The sound of John shouting his name was enough to send him over the edge, slipping to his knees and catching his lover as he did so, he moaned loudly into John’s neck as he reached his climax. 

Both were lucky not to clip the shower tub’s sides as they crashed down, John flopping back on top of Virgil and had to be nudged a few times to make sure he was ok, John rewarding his effort by licking his face playfully and nipping his chin.

“That was fun. You’re a tease when you want to be.” John chuckled as he playfully leaned back to try and nip his lover's ear.

“I learnt from the best,” Virgil smiled coyly.

As John moved back, he caught the shower hose on his foot which caused the shower head to spray them both with the ice-cold water. 

Spluttering and gasping, Virgil scrabbled to sit up, taking John with him so he could reach the tap to shut off the stream. 

Both soaked in cold water, they laughed.

“That’s one way to cool off,” Virgil smiled, nuzzling into John’s neck, “now, can we have breakfast?”

Eating breakfast didn't eventuate. The moment both stepped into the bedroom, the towel came off and John had leapt at his brother’s back, clinging onto him and started to playfully nip, tickle and lick him till he was shrugged off and chased around. John would dart around the bed, dodge and weave Virgil’s lunges and landed the odd lick and tickle as he danced around. He would duck and squeeze his brother's arse, brush teasingly against his back and with one frustrating weave out of Virgil’s grasp, he slid between his open legs and planted a peck of his lover's re excited member. 

Virgil eventually managed to catch him and wrestle him onto the bed. John was laughing, still trying to tickle and tease his sibling to no avail, his legs getting hitched up roughly ready for round two.

“You know, Scott said for you to rest.” Virgil growled. “But I think what he meant was I was to keep you in bed.”

“Oh?” John sniggered. “Just how you planning in doing that?”

Virgil rubbed himself against his younger sibling, making sure both of their hot and begging members touched. “Well let's see…” he let out a deep rumbling purr, “As long as I'm inside you, you can't leave the bed. So I think the plan is pretty simple,.”

He leaned down and breathed in John's ear, “I'm going to fuck you so hard every waking moment so you are staying on this bed.”

“Is that a threat?” John teased.

“No...it's what I plan to do, and your going to feel me inside you for a few hours because I don't plan in coming out.”

“Ohhh I'll hold you to that.” John grinned mischievously. “Would love to see you try.”

“Your that much of a cock tease, John. I'm sure I can manage.”

“Then do it, Virgil. Right now, let's get started.” 

John pulled his brother into a kiss and held him there, only breaking away from his lips when they became one again. From his position under his lover he was able to stroke his broad chest and massage his torso, linger for long periods nibbling and suckling each nipple, tracing patterns with his tounge and caressing the dark hairs that scattered his incredible body. He moved in time with each forceful thrust into his hips, the sex earlier in the shower allowing first time jitters go just in time for something a little more slower, harder, drawn out and more precise raid upon his own being.

Precise was the right word - every time teeth bit into flesh it was calculated and timed to each deep push, forcing loud breathless yelps and cries as John moved under him. 

Virgil was learning fast.

Spurred on by the noises coming from his lover beneath him, Virgil slowed his hips, watching John squirm, a seductive smile spreading across his face..  
Pinning the younger man’s arms above his head, Virgil leant in for a kiss, only to stop millimetres from John’s lips. 

John shifted himself trying to encourage movement from the towering man before him, to no avail.

“I’m going to make you beg for me,” Virgil growled huskily, capturing John’s bottom lip between his teeth whilst pushing himself deeper.

“What if I don't want to?” John asked all sly. After all he at least had experience being the taker before, and knew how to mess with a lover if he wanted.

Removing himself from inside John, Virgil lowered his head to John’s chest, littering it with sharp bites and the occasional suck of skin.  
Lining himself up with John’s writhing body, Virgil sunk his teeth into John’s shoulder, burying himself fully inside at the exact same moment.

“Fffft!” John hissed, arching and then letting out a laugh as he grinned like a maniac. “You think that works everytime huh?” he chuckled. “Got more buttons than that Apollo.”

Virgil snorted, reaching an arm around John and lifting him off the bed before pinning him against the headboard. The younger man wrapped his legs tightly around his lover. 

“Got plenty of time to discover them too, it’s not like you can go anywhere,” Virgil smirked, quirking an eyebrow. 

He set up an unbelievable pace, enjoying the expressions and noises John made. Virgil felt fingernails assaulting his back, causing him to hiss in pleasure. So that’s why John enjoyed it so much…

Grabbing John’s weeping member, Virgil made sure to gently match the speed of his thrusts.

“Good...uuuhhhhh...I should think so….ahhhh….” John purred, nuzzling Virgil and nipping his ear playfully. “Same as I like...nuuuh... to think there's more to you too...ahhhh!” His arms wrapped themselves around the stronger man's chest under his arms and started to press his fingers into his back, massaging it carefully with quite a bit of pressure in areas he could reach. He had to concentrate, had to give Virgil a little show - it wouldn't be fair to give in to every bite, claw mark and thrust so easily.

The moan that escaped his lips was low and shuddering. He was trying to grasp back any control he could. Smirking playfully at John, he delivered a small slap to his lover’s arse, before returning to stroke him softly.

“Ohhhhh...nice!” John growled. “That's pretty sensitive there, you know….” And to demonstrate that, he moved one hand down to Virgil’s own behind and lightly ran his fingers over it, feeling his lover shiver and a break in the pace. “Enjoy it, it's not a race….”

Keen to learn more from his lover, Virgil slowed down. He could feel every inch of himself as he entered John slowly. It was driving him crazy, it was hypnotic and sensual. 

Forgetting himself somewhat, Virgil’s head fell to John’s shoulder, nuzzling in and whispering, “I love you, uhhh… you are incredible… ahhhhh!”

John brushed Virgil’s forehead with his nose, before planting soft kisses on it. “Love you too, Virgil…..aaaaAAHH! VIRGIL!” 

He fell for it again, lulled into a false sense of relaxed intimacy though John had to give Virgil kudos for choosing now to bite his shoulder, picking the exact moment his guard would be down. 

Smart move, brother.

Shuddering at the sound of his lover screaming out his name, Virgil smiled into John’s shoulder.

“Gottcha!” He growled reaching a hand to the back of John’s neck to run his fingers through his thick blonde hair. Pulling gently to expose his neck, sucking hard at the skin there and drawing the blood to leave a bruised mark, “not so cocky now, huh?”

“Maybe not,” John smirked. “But don't abuse it.” And with that he returned the favour, biting back into his lover's broad shoulders and eliciting a yelp, even though he didn't bite as hard. You didn't need to if you knew exactly where the right spots were to make you feel weak in the knees.

“Ahh… fuck! John!” Virgil groaned, struggling to hold his lover up. Falling backwards, he pulled John to straddle him. Staring into his lover’s steely blue eyes, he smiled seductively.

“Allow me.” John purred, playfully. Giving Virgil a little break wouldn't hurt so while on top of him, he was very slow in moving his own legs to shift his hips into a gentle rhythm and as he ran his fingers across the big beautiful body of his lover he would stop in some unusual spots along the ribs on his sides and would take a bite, measured, calculated and above all, a genuine weak spot in the nerves. He then moved along the sides and continued the quiet assault eliciting not only excited growls, yelps and calls - but also his name.

Too bad he couldn't reach Virgil’s legs from this position - he wouldn't know what hit him.

Watching his lover rocking on his hips was a new and powerful sensation, one that he wished wouldn’t end. Virgil could not contain the expletives spilling from his lips, “fuck, John… ahh! You’re… FUCK! Ahh! Fucking hell I’m so close,” he panted, gripping John once more to try and bring him along too.

The devious smile stayed. “One last thing… watch..”

Sitting upright with his lovers hands in his hips, John started to massage himself and teasing his own body, all for Virgil to enjoy. He never thought about teasing with a little bit of masturbation before but damn, watching Virgil’s reaction to him pleasuring himself was utterly priceless.

There was no way he'd last long, which as was just as well since John was almost spent physically anyway. He was going to crash heavily after this, no doubts about it.

As his lover watched, he brought himself to orgasm, dribbling all across Virgil’s stomach as he bend forward, whispering his name.

“Vir...Virgil…! Ahhhhhhh….”

Rocking himself a few more times, overwhelmed from watching his lover climax, Virgil reached his own orgasm - his own body wracked with pleasure as he yelled John’s name horsley.

Pulling John close to his chest, Virgil absentmindedly stroked soft patterns across his siblings back, breathing heavily, muscles still twitching in bliss. 

Snoring could be heard, soft and mostly due to a very slow rate of breathing regulation. John was struggling to get his breath back long after Virgil's has returned and a touch of his forehead revealed a slight fever still sitting on the brow, something that the shower must have temporally put on hold for a few hours. At least it wasn't as bad as the last few days, suggesting a little more sleep would do him the world of good...until he next woke up.

That's when round three will start.


	13. Boundaries

Virgil awoke with a start, sitting bolt upright and shaking. 

Another nightmare… So much blood… 

Shaking his head in an attempt to clear his thoughts he looked down beside him to see John sleeping soundly. Smiling weakly, he got up and headed for the bathroom. It seemed to be incredibly dark outside, leaving him to assume it was somewhere in the middle of the night.

Splashing cool water on his face, Virgil rubbed his eyes and enjoyed the calming feeling of the water washing away the horrid dream. Returning to the room, he slipped quietly inside.

A playful smile crept across his face as he observed his brother sleeping, snoring lightly. 

Reaching the foot of the bed, Virgil lifted the covers and crept between John’s legs. Taking his lover’s limp form into his hands, he began to pepper the sensitive area with light kisses and tug lightly on his length, happy when he began to get a reaction. 

He could hear a soft whimper from somewhere above him. Pleased he was getting the desired reaction, he proceeded to gently suck the tip of John’s length into his warm mouth.

Virgil felt a hand fist tightly into his hair.

“Virge….whatsryo…” came a mumble, fist tugging in Virgil's hair tighter. John shifted around, trying to curl up. Virgil was ready for the leg though, gently stopping it from moving.

A loud growl came from John, one Virgil had not heard before.

Taking it as a good thing, Virgil took John deeper into his mouth, swirling his tongue around experimentally before going back and licking the tip slowly. He leant his elbows either side of John’s legs to prevent them moving up again, his hands firmly gripping his lover’s hips. Shifting his knees to gain a little extra leverage, Virgil continued to suck harder.

Another growl came, this time with more of a warning tone. When that was ignored, a pillow hit him squarely in the head.

Coughing in surprise, Virgil sat up and ripped the covers off of John, glaring at him, “What was that for?” He demanded, trying not to be offended, “just trying to give you a nice surprise!” 

John was sitting up, trying to pull his lower leg free from under Virgil. “Yeah...sure…” was a very tired, annoyed snarl.

Virgil sat back on his ankles and sighed. He couldn’t see, but he knew his brother was looking at him angrily, probably plotting some kind of revenge.  
He slipped himself off the end of the bed, throwing the covers back over John, before rummaging in the pocket of his jeans for a cigarette. Plopping himself into the comfortable chair by the window, he lit the cigarette and inhaled deeply. 

John felt hurt. He trusted Virgil and being woken up with his manhood in his brother's mouth did not go down well. Especially after the paranoia over one of the ranch hands lurking in the room prior to his siblings arrival.

He grabbed the pillow, picked some shorts off the floor and stormed out, slamming the door. 

He didn't like being taken advantage of.

Just because he was there, naked on the bed, didn't give his brother the right to do that. Shit if he tried that Virgil would have pound the utter crap out of him for breaking his beauty sleep.

Slipping on the shorts which were probably Virgil’s from how loose they were around his waist, he made headway down the stairs to the living room, tossed the pillow down on the couch and made that his bed, despite him being too tall to sleep on it, legs dangling over the arm of it.

Surprise it was most definitely. John knew now he needed to be a little more careful with what he let Virgil do to him as that had now made his head a mess and struggle to get to sleep, paranoia he was going to be assaulted in the dark by strangers all over again.

Virgil had fought back the urge to say something, to explain himself, or to follow John as he’d stormed out of the room. He knew that his brother needed the space.  
This was all still incredibly new to him and he felt pressure to live up to what John wanted, having no prior experience. 

Opening the window slightly, he flicked the remains of the cigarette out. He sighed, exasperated and frustrated. He felt as though his brother was being unrealistic by expecting him to know what to do or, more importantly, what not to do. Virgil was learning as he went after all, there were bound to be mistakes.  
Though he understood why the younger man was upset with him, he had simply wanted to please John and, perhaps selfishly, get rid of the nightmare that lingered in his brain.

After an hour or so staring up at the stars from his seat, Virgil got up, threw on a pair of pants and pulled the covers from the bed.  
Silently making his way down the stairs, he lay the covers gently over John’s sleeping body, careful not to wake him. Opening the door and leaving the house as quietly as possible, Virgil headed towards the guest house illuminated in the beautiful moonlight. 

Perhaps a little sketching would keep his mind busy.

Sinking down onto the sofa in the low light after retrieving the art supplies from under the bed, Virgil flicked past his earlier drawing of John to a clean page and began to sketch.  
Sketching his dreams and nightmares had always been Virgil’s way of working through the reasons behind them. 

It must have been sometime in the early hours of the morning before the pencil fell from his hand and he succumbed to the open arms of sleep, at the mercy of his nightmares once more.

Most of the day stretched out without much happening, John choosing to avoid Virgil and do chores helping with Grandma's other animals and being chased around by them in terror until he was too tired and came back to lean on the fence and watch the remaining horses get a good run.

Grandma Tracy rode proud on top of a white one up and around the large dusty paddock and with her Virgil was on another burgundy coloured one at a canter, both of them with an extra set of reins leading other horses gently around.

Thankfully both were too busy to see him watching them.

John felt miserable for stopping Virgil's little game, but what was he supposed to do? Let his brother think feeling him up without his consent was ok?

It had also been weird to sleep in the same bed, though John had gotten over that - at least he thought he did. Virgil normally kept everyone out of his room back home, it was his big massive private space and it was to be respected.

The only room he was usually allowed into was Gordon's and when he had his accident, John couldn't step foot in there, even now.

Always scared that if he opened the door his twin would be a mangled mess, hanging on for dear life - like his old florida apartment had become a place full of memories with Michael and he just abandoned all his stuff there unable to step inside and face the fact he wasn't ever going to visit anymore.

Hence why Thunderbird Five was more than just a place of exile and loneliness, it was his home and a place he could hide from things he couldn't deal with.

John never talked about how he felt much. He never had to with Gordon’s ability to read him like some sort of cheap novel. Now suddenly because he had been stupid and opened his mouth, gave his unwanted opinion to their father and he was now expected to explain everything without the complete understanding of how to do so.

He knew Virgil wasn't stupid, but he probably thought right now John was leading him around, just like the stupid horses. Would he blame him for dumping him? No. He had it coming.

John knew he didn't deserve someone like Virgil, nor anyone else for that matter. His brother may not think he's perfect, but he was more emotionally in check than he was.

Having sex with him was in one way a bigger mistake than telling their father in front of Gordon and Scott to go fuck himself. 

Did he regret it though? Maybe a little. Only his mis judgment of Virgil’s personality which he thought he knew pretty well.

John was honest on that. He was mostly attracted to his brother's mind, how amazing and smart it was - everything he wasn't. He never really thought about his body much as without the mind that owned it, it was just that - a body.

Bodies don't tell you their feelings or talk about the stuff they're interested in. The mind that owned it did.

But there was things in that mind John wasn't so sure of anymore, or maybe they were normal thoughts and actions that John had put walls up in defence to, because he knew that letting someone behind them would create a great deal of damage, regardless of intentions.

He wasn't sure he could honestly let Virgil in beyond them, at least for now. John was more scared of being hurt both physically and mentally than he ever was and he couldn't even tell Virgil that.

He left the fence and headed back over to the homestead and in the living room sat on the stool of their grandmother’s grand piano. He couldn't play an instrument worth a grain of salt though he knew ‘chopsticks’ on the piano so ran with that until he messed up the tune.

Scott had leadership and strength as qualities, Virgil was unshakeable and had creative ideas flowing out of his head, Gordon was a wiz at everything he put his mind to and a goal getter and Alan was practically a spoilt super genius.

What did he have?

John folded his arms across the keys and rested his head.

Nothing. There was nothing special about John Tracy…..

Maybe dad exiling him was the right thing to do.

 

Helping his Grandma down from her horse, Virgil had reluctantly agreed to put the horses back into the stables. He’d also told his Grandma that he wouldn’t be needing dinner and that he’d be staying in the guest house as John needed the rest. 

It was mostly true, although Virgil knew he had been annoying John and causing him more pain than happiness, which caused him a great deal of sorrow. If John wanted to see him, he’d have to be the one to initiate it, Virgil wasn’t about to put him through anymore stress.  
Virgil was tired of guessing what he needed to do, maybe John was having second thoughts about this…

Not that he could blame him. Virgil had always admired John’s tenacity and mental strength. It was one of the great many things he admired about John. His playful and sometimes sick sense of humour, his calmness under pressure, his fierce loyalty and not to mention those deep mysterious eyes.

Leading the horses back to the stables, Virgil felt a sickening fear pool in his stomach, the holes created by lead buckshot were a reminder of what Scott had done. He quickly removed the tack from the horses and got them back to their respective stalls.  
Taking a moment to compose himself, Virgil peered around into the stall where he had been held. To Scott’s credit, he’d done a pretty good job of cleaning up. Though the blood was stained the timber a dark crimson. Shuddering, Virgil left the stables, fear swelling up inside him like a rising flood. He shouldn’t have looked, but it was a morbid curiosity he felt the urge to satisfy. 

It was something that he had wanted to speak to John about but had been unsure how to bring it up. That and John was lucky to be alive after his canyon fall, this was nothing compared to that, so why should Virgil be making such a fuss.

Stepping back into the guest house, Virgil made himself a cup of strong tea before closing all of the curtains and settling down to sit alone peacefully to clear his thoughts.

Grandma Tracy found herself walking into her own house to the sound of tears. She headed for the living room to find her grandson crying at the piano.

She sat beside John and rubbed his back. “Are you alright sweetie?”

John managed to look at her from his folded arms and said muffled through sobs, “How can any one stand the sight of me when there is nothing to like, nothing to be proud of? How can you still want my company when I'm useless around the ranch? Why would people just drag me around when they think and know I'm utterly useless?”

“Because Jonathan, you’re my grandson. And no matter what I'll always be blessed to have you.”

“So your telling me, you only put up with my presence because I'm your grandson? That's kinda...no...that still hurts. If you only tolerate me because we're related…”

Grandma held him close. “I love you for lots of other little things, dear. The fact you are my grandson is just a bonus.”

“But everyone else…”

“Have you ever asked them?”

“No. I'm scared to. I've slipped up really big this time, there's no way I'm going to come out of this with any family - I mean I have no friends too loose but I'm running low on family who'll stand in my corner or talk to me. I don't want this, Grandma. Being alone because of how I feel and choose to be isn't what I want.”

“Then what do you want, Johnathan?” Grandma asked.

John wiped the tears from his face.

“To be accepted. To be wanted and needed. To be useful to at least somebody.”

“What about loved?” Grandma Tracy prompted.

John gave her a very sad smile. “Haven't decided I deserve that yet.”

“You know you don't get to chose that one.”

“I suppose so.”

“Feel a bit better?”

“A little. Hey, wasn't Virgil with you?”

“He said he wasn't hungry.”

“My backside he isn't!” John sat up and scoffed. Let me in that kitchen and I'll take him whatever you were cooking, he better damn eat it too!”

This made Grandma Tracy laugh. Her boys could be silly sometimes.


	14. The doors to the universe of a glass heart

Standing outside the door of the guest house, John swallowed. He was nervous as hell and the hot tray loaded with a roast turkey dinner was burning his arms the longer he debated going inside.

Should he? Virgil didn't apologize for the rude wake up this morning and had not bothered about seeking him out over it.

That still hurt. Though John shouldn't have to tell him it was unwanted assault.

He couldn't let the idiot starve though. That wouldn't do for the guy who takes emergency calls and sits on crisis call center helplines in his spare time because that was the only useful skill he had millions of miles in orbit.

“You owe me, you doofus.” He mumbled under his breath before entering and heading for the room Virgil chose to stay in.

Upon hearing footsteps outside the room, Virgil hurriedly stuffed the sketchbook he’d been doodling in under his pillow. 

“Who’s there?” He barked in what he hoped was a threatening tone, not that he would be in a position to fight off an intruder whilst sporting only boxer shorts.

John shook now, really aware he wasn't welcome.

He placed the tray of food down, banged on the door hard and made a run for it. If his memory served right, an angry Virgil was dangerous and best left alone.

It would have been a clean getaway, if it wasn't for tripping down the last three steps. Disorientated he picked himself up and slouched against the wall.

Virgil jumped at the banging sound at the door, boxer shorts or not, he had to be ready. Pouncing up to the door, he flung it open to reveal… dinner? He picked up the tray to take it down the stairs only to see a crumpled John at the bottom of them. 

“You okay there?” Virgil gulped nervously, setting the tray down, “here let me help you up.”

Making his way down the stairs, he offered a hand out towards John.

John hesitated. “You not going to tear me a new one are you for annoying you?”

Virgil blinked, “annoying me?” He replied in disbelief, “shit John, I’m the one who’s been annoying! And the one who needs to apologise to you after what I did…” he trailed off, “and I truly am sorry, I had no right to…” he hung his head in remorse, pausing to sigh deeply before continuing, “why did you bring dinner over? I told Grandma not to worry about it.”

“B-because...I knew you'd be hungry.” John looked downwards at his shoes. “You're a terrible liar and never pass up food.”

The older man sighed, letting his outstretched arm fall to his side and slouched to sit opposite his brother, “I’m so very sorry for… what I did,” Virgil cleared his throat quietly and focused on his hands, “I’m sorry for not knowing the right thing to do, for upsetting you, sorry for letting you down.”

“You didn't do anything wrong. At least by everyone else's standards with relationships.” John admitted. “I freaked out, not your fault.”

“I don’t care about what other people’s standards are, John,” he muttered, “I care about your standards! And I’m pretty sure I’m failing them right now, fuck…”

John fell silent. He did not want to tell Virgil he felt like he could have been raped. That would be a terrible idea.

“Talk to me, John, please” Virgil begged, looking at his sibling, tears beginning to form and unable to prevent the fear in his gut rising again, afraid for what his brother might say.

“About what? Being scared?” 

Virgil felt a stab of guilt in his heart. “Scared?”

“Yes… scared. I let you do things to me because I like them and can...can tell you when it's too much. I don't like surprises like that, ones where I feel vulnerable. It's like when you guys pulled revenge pranks when we were little.. At least me and Gordon didn't make you guys wake up outside dangling over the balcony or the pool...and after coming out in front of dad, telling him what I thought of him, how he treated yours and others injuries like they were scratches, the creepiness here… I'm scared of alot of things right now… even - even what grandma told me about Scott and his way of rescuing you. THAT I'm terrified of.”

John tried to look small and not a threat. “You can scare me too…” he admitted. “I'm...I'm scared of everyone.” he hugged his knees.

Virgil’s heart burst with guilt this time. His tears fell freely, though no sound came. He couldn’t bare to look at what he’d done to his brother, he’d been trying to protect John, when the whole time it had been Virgil he’d been afraid of. 

The discovery that John knew about Scott shooting the stable hand made him wonder just how much he’d actually heard. How close Virgil had gotten to being assaulted by a stranger before almost being shot by his own brother. Hell, did John even know that Scott had figured them out? 

So many things he wanted to tell John, but was the damage too severe for Virgil to ever have the hope of his brother trusting him again?

He choked on a sob as he released a breath he was unaware he’d been holding in.

“John.. John I’m sorry, for everything. I just… I just want to make you as happy as you make me, I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing if I’m honest and I need you to talk to me, I can’t read your mind…”

“Unsure how.” John looked at him. “I've fucked up alot lately. What's there to make you happy? You don't look it, you look like I caused pain more than anything.”

“I need you, John,” he whispered through tears, “ I can’t lose you, you mean the world to me and I just want to give you the world, but I can’t… I’ve just made you scared of me...” he cracked, his voice failing him.

John decided to change the subject. He couldn't even understand how someone like himself of little worth meant anything to anyone. It was something he needed to figure out himself.

“Soo.. Scott with a shotgun, I take it the guy you punched wasn't happy?”

Looking up at John, Virgil wiped away his tears, “John are you listening to me? Do you understand what I’m saying? You are the most incredible person, do you know that?” Virgil felt himself getting more and more agitated, desperate not to have to go over the horrendous events that haunted his dreams, “you are so giving, so caring! I don’t deserve someone so strong and beautiful. I don’t even know how I ended up getting this far without fucking up and causing you so much pain… I just… Fuck! You deserve the best John, you really do, to be happy and protected… clearly that’s not me,” Virgil couldn’t prevent the sob this time, “your smile is so wonderful, you deserve someone who makes you smile and laugh. Fuck I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

John stood up, his distractin technique having failed. He sighed as he said, “That's where you're wrong, all of it. I don't deserve anything, I don't deserve you and all of this… this niceness. It's all my fault and I'm going to fix it.” The question is, how? He wondered. There was one way but even he couldn't do that properly.

“Please don't starve yourself, Virgil. Not over me.” 

“I can’t eat! Not after doing what I’ve done and knowing how scared I’ve made you… I’m not wrong!” Virgil stood up quickly, “I meant every word! You are worth so much more than you’ll ever know... I can’t lose you John.”

“Virgil all I do is hurt people. I don't help or save anyone. Not worth loving at all ok?” He said quietly. A soft smile formed on his face. “I'll fix it, you'll see. I'll be something worth loving yet.”

“You’re not listening to me! You do save people, I know you spend your spare time taking crisis calls, John… you help all the time, you just don’t realise it! You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?” Virgil sighed, frustrated, “you don’t get to be the judge of whether you are ‘worth loving’ you deserve to be worshipped for crying out loud!” He cried, “What the hell do you mean by fixing it?”

John hung his head. “I give up. You're so stubborn.” He sighed. He was tired of fighting, tired of being told he was worth something. 

“I’m stubborn? I’m putting my heart on a knife edge over here, trying to tell you how I feel, how much you mean to me… I just don’t know… Scott never said anything about what to do when you don’t want to fight in relationships,” he froze, it was out of his mouth before his realised.

“Scott? You TOLD SCOTT!?”

“No!” Virgil panicked, “He knew about it already! He’d figured it out!”

John's jaw just opened a few times, but nothing came out. Instead he turned on his heels and left, feeling dirty and humiliated.

“John! Wait! Please don’t leave!” Virgil called, he wanted to do nothing more than grab onto his brother and never let him go.

“Wait for what? Dad to fly out here to shoot me himself?! Because that's what he is going to do if Scott tells! I'm the corrupt one! He's probably going to punish you but there's no way he'll ever disown you!” John snarled, spinning back around of Virgil. “I'm so fucking dead!”

Virgil winced at John’s tone and talk of shooting, “Scott won’t say shit, if he was going to, he would have already! Be reasonable John, he’s been surprisingly supportive and is trying to fix things!” He defended, “besides, if he tries to hurt you, dad will have to kill me first.”

“Did Scott mention what I said to his face at all? About you, Scott, Alan and Gordon and how he treats you all? How he talks to Tintin and flirts with Lady Penelope WHO'S FUCKING SCOTTY'S AGE!?”

“No, he didn’t,” Virgil shrank backwards away from John’s anger.

“I said some things… because I'm sick of standing back and watching everyone fall apart in front of me! Falling apart because we're living up to this imaginary standard he has!”

He took a breath and calmed down a little getting angry wasn't him and he couldn't stay that way. 

“But the thing is - you've all been able to live up to that example he wants.. I haven't. I've been a failure from the get go. You can't fix that...only I can.”

“What do you mean by ‘fix’, John?” Virgil uttered quietly, “please, John, I’m worried about you.”

“I'm not entirely sure, but I'll think of something. I'm not a hero, never will be but there's got to be something.”

“Just stay here, with me? Please?” Virgil asked, desperate not to let John go.

“Where would I go, Virgil? I can't fly and I can't drive a motorbike to the island. I can only go in doors and make a holocall.” John snorted, smiling. “That's all I've got in my arsenal. I don't have much else and I can't threaten anyone with a gun. I only have words, thats it. They are not good weapons.”

“No more gun talk,” Virgil mumbled, “words are more powerful than you realise.”

“Heh, I wish.” John sighed. “I don't want to do this, I don't even have a clue what I'm going to say.”

His chest grew tight at those words. This was it Virgil thought to himself, “don’t want to do what?” He asked, voice barely audible.

“Talk to dad.”

Breathing in deeply, Virgil walked over towards John, taking his hands and threading them with his own, “I’ll be right there with you, if you still want me… whatever it takes, John, I’ll be there.”

“Thanks. Maybe we should wait till Scott comes back? Strength in numbers?”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Virgil squeezed his brother’s hands lightly, “whatever it takes, Johnny, I’ll be fighting for you.”

Bowing his head before his sibling, Virgil shook away the thoughts of Scott wanting to shoot him, “I promise I’ll work harder at this, I’m trying to open up, I really am, it’s just hard sometimes, y’know?”

John laughed uneasily. “You're not the only one.” then a low rumble from his own tummy decided to voice itself. “That dinner was for two, but if you'd rather eat alone tonight I understand. I was thinking of walking around the property later with dad's old telescope and have a look through. Tonight's pretty clear and there's no light pollution so should be perfect viewing for saturn's rings.”

“I’d like nothing more than to join you, if you’d allow me.” Virgil smiled, “let’s get you some dinner,” he spoke as he turned and lead the way back to the guest house so he could, retrieve the tray of food from the top of the stairs, “I’m afraid it might be a little cold.”

“Cold is fine. Can't say I'm used to eating hot food.” John grinned. “The microwave on the station fried last time I tried to use it. I don't know what the hell Alan does up there for one month that I fail to do in six months… he's more of a danger than I'll ever be.”

Virgil laughed, “come on then, let’s go get some grub.”

Closer to midnight, both Tracys had found a spot far away from the homestead at the edge of the main property, rugged up and while Virgil stamped his feet, John was fiddling with setting the telescope up. 

It was huge - so big it took both of them to carry it outside, along with blankets, an esky with a few beers, snacks, tent, sleeping bags and some of John's homemade star charts.

Virgil was impatiently laying everything from the hamper out before him. Before laying out on top of a sleeping bag, gazing happily up at the twinkling stars. 

John then got on his knees beside him and unfurled some big pieces of paper and pinned the corners with rocks.

“Ok, so this one is a chart of the constellations you should be able to to see in the northern hemisphere without a telescope. They have both the Greek and Native American words for each under them. I have another for the southern too with the Aboriginal names for those - it's interesting the stories behind them, hence why I like using them.” Then he pointed to another smaller sheet, “These are of the planets and galaxies you can see through the telescope…” he pointed to one strangely penciled in coordinate written in messier handwriting that looked a little smudged, “Unsure if we'll see that one, I'm hoping since tonight is really clear but due to me seeing this one from space the earth coordinates may differ.”

He smiled sweetly. “Only cool thing I've ever achieved, though I've never told anyone other than the astrology society about it, I mean that's a given, otherwise you can't name it.” He looked up dreamily. “You'll have to give me a few to find it, if that's alright.”

Virgil quietly crawled over, a flask of coffee in his hand, casting his eye across the star chart his brother had created. He was astonished. The details depicted with John’s scrawled handwriting. 

“John..” Virgil started, staring up at his younger brother, mouth agape in awe, “this is astounding! You did all this? You’ve discovered something? That’s an incredible achievement!”

John shrugged. “Not much else to do when your in space with nothing to do but wait around.” He moved back to the telescope after writing the numbers on a torn piece of paper and started his search. After awhile he said, “It's not exactly something, more like a bunch of somethings. I wish Thunderbird Five had the right equipment to take pictures of star systems… but the pictures NASA and the observatory in the Northern Territory sent me are alot prettier than through the telescope. They're amongst the papers there somewhere, though there's a few pictures of nebulas and other galaxies so I'd have to show you which ones are which.”

Virgil was ecstatic to see John in his element, he felt a burst of pride for his younger brother, “I’d love to see them,” he spoke softly, “This is amazing, how come you don’t talk about this more often? It’s so refreshing to see you speaking about your interests, it’s like looking at your soul… I always look up at the stars and think of you, your passion for them and your knowledge is so vast… it’s mind boggling!”

Again, John shrugged. “No different to Gordon’s obsession with aquatic life of the ocean depths, though I guess not being around much to bore you with it helps make it stay special. Looked at the pictures yet? They're pretty colourful and beautiful, just like some of your watercolour paintings.”

“I beg to differ, these are magnificent! They’re so fascinating,” he gawped, flicking through the photographs of the other worldly nebulas, their colours bright and elegant.

Space had always been interesting to Virgil, but he’d not had someone to show him its beauty since International Rescue had started up, seeing John move to the isolated Thunderbird Five.

“There should be one marked ‘T. Quazar system. Can't miss it, it's the picture of the stars and big balls of pretty blue and pinkish smoke looking gasses.”

Flicking through the numerous pictures, Virgil managed to locate the photograph in question. Regarding it with interest, he observed the pastel and ultra bright colours blend delicately together. 

“It’s spectacula, John,” he spoke, “is this the one you discovered?”

“There we go… think that's the best I'm going to get from here..” John stood up. “Come have a look, bare in mind it's not as impressive as the photo but hey, we don't have a massive observatory in our pockets.”

Getting up and kneeling beside his brother, Virgil peered into the telescope, taking time to adjust himself to look a the quasar system John had discovered. Instantly recognising a bright light gracefully swirled in a blurry haze around a central nucleus of white light. 

“John it’s stunning,” he breathed, absorbing the view, “like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”

“Wait till you see it on a more advanced telescope, heck even the one on the station gives you a similar view to those photos since Brains builds everything with ridiculous levels of power.” John seemed a little bit calmer and lost in the moment. He sighed. “And it stinks that I'll never be able to show you.”

Virgil sighed heavily, “thank you for showing me John, I feel very privileged to have seen this, one day we’ll find a high powered telescope where we can look together.”

“Yeah...hopefully.” John let out a really heavy breath. “That's if we get to. You know some have planets? Wouldn't it be awesome to discover one and fly to it?”

“That would be quite something! Can you imagine travelling to… wait, you never told me what you named it?” Virgil prompted.

John laughed. “Funny you mention that, most have funny names, but they are typically named after those who discover them.”

“Tracy?” 

John nodded. “Sadly everyone thinks it's named after dad, well those who have never read any books I've written. I guess that's why I've never bothered to share it...something that’s mine that's not being in dad's famous shadow but is seen as such anyway. You know how….” John tried to find the words, gesturing with his hands a little. “Frustrating it is to have everyone at some event think you're just a shadow of the great astronaut and then make the mistake of saying that star system is named after him like he discovered it? It just - just….”

John stood up walked away a little and swore at the top of his lungs, putting a hell of alot of energy into it, swinging his arms around until he calmed down. After a few minutes of this he dived into the kit they brought hunting for something - something he had been majorly deprived of since arriving on the ranch, even though their grandmother loved her tobacco.

He was hunting for a packet of menthols.

Virgil stood uneasily by the telescope observing his brother digging frantically through the bag of things they’d brought. He looked pleased with himself when he appeared to find what he was looking for, a small packet of menthol cigarettes. 

He stepped forward with his lighter and flicked the flame towards the end of the white stick that hung from John’s mouth. The fiery blonde man was shaking, from anger or the cold, Virgil couldn’t tell. 

“They don’t matter, y’know that?” Virgil offered, quietly lighting his own cigarette and standing back, “those people, what they think, it doesn’t matter. What matters is what you think. I’m so proud of you, John. For all of your accomplishments. For the person you are.”

He sighed, returning to his spot atop his sleeping bag to collect the coffee he’d started, “you’ve done far more than anyone ever gives you credit for.”

“HA!” John kicked his own sleeping bag. “What accomplishments? I worked as an unpaid intern and after my first year fully employed I drop that to nurse Gordon because someone had to - him living so far away in the middle of the Atlantic ocean then join you guys thinking it'd be great to help people and keep an eye on ‘Mr.Accident waiting to happen’,” he shot Virgil a warning glance, “Don't tell him that, will make his head explode by gloating - and for what? I come on maybe I dunno...fourteen rescues before dad decides I'm more of a hindrance and confines me to space to get a break once every six months, no family vacations, no Christmas or birthdays… only allowed down early for stupid charity do’s where every time we go Dad seems less bothered about talking me up heck even stops mentioning I'm one of his sons… talk you guys up like your the big heroes and amazing people, which is true, you guys are fucking awesome even without dad's pride attached….”

John plonked himself down ungracefully and fell back on the blanket.

“The one tiny achievement I have… and I've only ever shown you, because no one else deserves to know about it.”

“I’m aware how privileged I am that you’ve shown me this, but do you really think that’s all you’ve accomplished?” Virgil looked at him in disbelief, “what about the numerous books you’ve had published, the many contributions you’ve made to the astronomical society and NASA… Graduating from Harvard with glowing recommendations! You’re a fully fledged astronaut! Do you not realise how impressive that is alone? Not to mention the countless lives you’ve saved both with and without International Rescue!” 

Virgil paused to catch his breath back before continuing, catching his eyes as he did so, “your mind is a wonderful thing, John, you’re the most intelligent person know, you inspire me to be a better person, you’re so amazing and you just can’t see it! You’re blind to it.” 

John's brow furrowed. “Sadly, I'm not a true astronaut. Without a proper institution behind you to train you, you cannot be seen as such. I don't save lives, you guys physically do all that… and I've listened to alot of people die who were beyond reach…. And you had no idea I had books published till now, and I've had than for years sitting in the living room on the coffee table. Please don't pretend I've ever been that important.”

Flicking his cigarette away in frustration, Virgil retorted “you know I’ve read every book, right, John?” Tired of his brother being so blindly self critical. 

Trying to snap John from his thoughts, Virgil leant over and kissed him softly on the forehead before nuzzling his cheek with his nose. Wrapping his arms around his brother and pulling him into his warmth, “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, John… you’d understand where I’m coming from!”

“Now,” Virgil quipped, “show me where Aquila is, Polaris.”

John laughed. “This time of year? More that direction though it's hard to see it.” He pointed northward, a little too grateful for the subject change but one he really needed. “Quadrant four.” When he got a confused look he explained, “The stars are mapped into quadrants and you can only see some at certain times of the year, and some all year round. Like from our home, because it's off the coasts between Australia and New Zealand, you'll always see the Milky way, or The Emu in the Sky as it's also called and you'll always see the Southern Cross. But if you go a little closer to the equator or further to the pole they become seasonal as that quadrent isn't visible all year round.”

Thankful for the softening of John’s tone, Virgil pulled John gently closer so his head was resting atop the older man’s chest. Staring up at the obsidian sky, he understood, for a moment, John’s fascination with the stars. They were glinting, lighting up the deep expanse of darkness. 

Virgil never wanted this special moment to end. The comfortable silence and extraordinary company were perfect.

Only problem now was John nerding out over stars, which probably wasn't any better.

“Stars you can see above us,” John continued, pointing to them as he went, “Scorpius, because it's summer - which is over that way, Ursa Major or Big Bear which is that one, also it's called The Big Dipper as that's in the tail and the Little Dipper, which is Ursa Minor or Little Bear, which is there...Polaris, the North star is located in the handle of the Big Dipp -”

Virgil leaned over and kissed John softly on the lips while he didn't have his cigarette near his mouth and when he stopped and pulled away, John grabbed his shirt and kissed him again.

Surprised by John’s eagerness, Virgil relaxed into the kiss and gently rolled his lover on top of him so that John now lay upon his broad chest. Feeling a little nervous, Virgil decided to follow John’s lead, letting him set the pace, as he felt his lover’s tongue flick against his own.

Feeling John’s excitement growing against him, only served to spur Virgil on. 

He broke the kiss breathlessly to softly bury his head into the crook of John’s neck, shuffling the jumper he was wearing to one side, feeling the blonde’s increasing pulse. Virgil proceeded to softly and precisely litter his lover’s neck with slow kisses.

Reaching under the jumper, Virgil’s hands found their way to John’s sides and tickled his fingertips delicately against his warm skin. 

John let out a short sharp breath of air. “That's c-cold!” Then he grinned wickedly and before his sibling knew it, cold fingers were slid down under the hems of his jeans and trunks and placed just on the pelvis, just above his hot member, which due to the constriction of the clothing was forced against the back of his cold hand.

Virgil couldn’t stop the yelp that was pulled from his throat, bucking his hips upwards at the shock of John’s cold hand. 

“Ah! John! S-stop it!” He hissed, finally managing to pull John’s cold hand free from his pants before pulling him back down to kiss him deeply once more.

John chuckled. “I barely touched you.” He purred, allowing Virgil to move his arms where he wanted them - which seemed to be away from anywhere that was going to be made cold. “Heh, you're supposed to warm them up for me.”

Smirking at his brother, Virgil quickly slipped his hands down the back of John’s jeans, returning the cold shock to the younger man, “fine! You can warm mine up too if you want to play like that!” He held fire as John squirmed on top of him, causing a delightful friction as they moved together.

John then leaned down by his ear. “You play dirty.” he purred, “But then, so can I.”

He started to hum as he pulled himself away, reaching into the nearby esky, casually pulling free a beer but with his other hand palmed in some ice cubes. He handed his sibling the drink and while he was distracted and laughing “Yeah, sure you can. No offence, John, you're never going to be the ‘evil’ twin in our family.” John tossed the ice cubes under his trunks and snapped his clothes back as fast as Virgil dropped the beer and sat bolt upright from the cold, throwing John off him, who was now in hysterics as his sibling danced around trying to shake the ice loose. 

He reached for the fallen beer and opened it, offering it to Virgil properly. “Truce?”

John noted the annoyed look on his siblings face and as a gesture of surrender, stripped down his own pants to his tight shorts and dropped, not only some ice cubes, but poured some of the beer down there too.

“Ohhh damn that's fucking cold!” He exclaimed. “But I bet it tastes nice. Want to try it?”

Virgil nodded quickly, “would be rude not to,” he winked as he got to his knees in front of John, making short work of removing the beer-soaked underwear and gently licking up the carbonated dribbles that remained on John’s sensitive skin, the warm was of his tongue causing a delightful contrast to the cold night air.

“Tastes wonderful,” Virgil shot his eyes to meet with John’s as he gently licked the full length of his waiting member.

Gently running his fingers across bare hip bones, Virgil released a hot breath over John’s excitement, pulling a moan from somewhere above the brunette’s head as a hand leapt into his hair. 

Taking his lover into his mouth, he sucked hard on the tip then slid him further in, swiping his tongue along the underside to envelop the younger man in wet heat.

“Ahhhhh…..uhhh uah!” John held Virgil as close as he could, trying hard not to grip him tight. He didn't know if he was going to enjoy doing this the same way John did - the possibility of more by the way he was going at it - but he was mostly afraid of choking him, as one of his own fears he had was what prevented him from going all the way. Hell, John didn't like the taste of the end results and didn't expect Virgil to do so either.

With the beer bottle in his other hand, he trickled more down from his pelvis so it ran down his body and into his siblings hungry jaws, lapping it up and making noises as if it was the tastiest ice cream he ever had. 

Virgil was starting to gain confidence with his actions, holding the cold beer in his mouth against his lover, trying to judge whether the shuddering reaction was one of cold or pleasure.

Gulping away the beer, Virgil gently attempted to take his lover’s length his mouth entirely, holding onto John’s legs for leverage.

Breathless, John gasped and let go of the bottle, letting it fall and rollaway to lose its contents and soak through the blanket. He never had been treated like this before - it was new and unchartered territory - he never had a gentle lover before but then he never really let them, sex being the only rush he had, the more playful roughhousing - the better.

He curled over Virgil protectively and whimpered, letting his body give in to being more vulnerable than he ever felt it.

“Virgil,” he whispered between captured breaths. “Virgil….”

It felt incredible to lavish his lover with the attention he deserved as he continued to keep the steady pace with John, Virgil slowly pushed as far as he could, holding his breath and fighting back the urge to choke though unable to prevent the swallowing reflex that occurred.

John felt weak, letting it all go when Virgil really pushed his luck. He didn't mean it, there was no control. Like a rag doll he settled loosely over Virgil, still holding onto him, whispering his name like he was begging, but probably sounded more like the call of invisible angels.

“Virgil,” he breathed out softly, “Please...please finish inside….of me.”

Virgil coughed, trying to swallow what he’d had little warning for, melting at John begging for him. He gently lifted his lover down to his lap before laying him down on a sleeping bag. Slipping himself out of his jeans, he stroked himself a few times before positioning himself ready for John.

Leaning over the blonde man’s body, he tenderly pushed into John, giving him time to adjust before continuing. Virgil surrounded him within his warm arms and chest, keeping him protected from the bitter night air. 

Gradually, Virgil rocked his hips against his lover, “uhh… John…” he sighed into the younger man’s neck, trying to savour every moment of bliss he felt, “I love you, John… unghhh…”

Unlike the last few times, John was very quiet, holding on as tightly as he could despite feeling like limp noodles and wobbly jelly. He looked up at Virgil the few times his grip slipped and left him lying there for a few thrusts, slowly weaving his hands along his brother's magnificent body which felt like he was touching the embodiment of the ancient hero Hercules - strong, half man, half god. Sure, his muscles didn't bulge out like a Charles Atlas model but they didn't need to be, the fact they were nicely hidden under his skin showed true strength, true masculinity of a man who would wrestle bears in the woods for a living.

Brown locks that were black against the dark sky framed the square face and defined features, the prominent brow, low cheekbones and the cleft chin that looked carved from the strongest and toughest rock. There was clear signs of hard work on his face, like he had to take the longest and most difficult path traveled to become the man and the creative genius he was.

Against the stars, the view was breathtaking watching Virgil be this amazing creature of not just a beautiful mind and an impressive figure, but a loving soul who just wanted to connect with someone on a deeper more meaningful level…

John wasn't sure he was that person that was the right one to make the connection with, but he would follow him wherever he wanted to go even if it meant walking that tightrope that was threatening to be cut while he was still on it over the pit of limbo, the one full of monsters that were waiting and watching, expecting for everything to fail.

As he clutched him close again he could feel tears threatening to fall. This was going to end badly but he didn't care - if this is the only thing he has in this world that's real, that wants him to still stay here under the planets sky and not aimlessly floating without any goal, any future and the risk of being alone….

He didn't want to let go. If he did, he was afraid there would be too many pieces to pick up, because there was already so many cracks that couldn't be repaired.

“Don't ever leave me…..I love you too much to risk you.” He whispered through heavy eyes. “Virgil….don't ever walk away, never give up on me….promise me…”

“Always, I promise,” he whispered, shuddering at his release. Virgil moaned quietly as he felt John shaking underneath him. Pulling away, he felt his brother dig his fingers tightly into his arms, drawing him back. Looking down into John’s dark blue eyes, he saw tears illuminated in the pale moonlight. 

“John!” He called, panicking, cradling his brother into his arms, “John are ok? Did I hurt you?” He slid to one side, bringing the younger man onto his lap, collecting a blanket to wrap carefully around them, nuzzling his head into his lover’s shoulder.

John smiled as a lone tear escaped, his expression all shy, flushed and his eyes very hazy. “No. You were like a butterfly, fleeting and magnificent in utter glory.” He rested his head against Virgil's jumper, finding that it was hard to keep his heart open like it was.

Lazily, he pulled one of Virgil's hands into his and made a gesture like he was giving him something invisible. “My heart is yours. Please take care of it, it can't be repaired but it can learn to accept more than just one person…. Help it grow, Virgil….” Then he cupped his hands around it and blew a kiss to it like the object was there with serious weight to it before giving Virgil his hand back.

John was no good at art, could never express his admiration and love on paper, could never write a tune or sing a song to shout it to the world…

But he had words, That was all. He hoped they were enough.

Understanding the colossal magnitude of John’s words, Virgil touched his forehead against his brother’s, holding him tighter.

To hold something as significant as John’s heart was a privilege, it was delicate and fragile - like a tiny glass bird full of glowing starlight.

“John, I…” he started, being very careful with his words as to not convey the wrong message across to his emotional brother, “I’ll never walk away from you, John… You are my universe and I’ll fight with all I have to protect you, y’know that? You have my heart too,” he smiled, kissing his forehead, “though you’ve had it for some time now.”

Virgil laughed softly at his words, pulling his head away to look John in the eyes, wiping away the tears that fell from them with his calloused thumb.

“I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy, to keep you safe with me,” he cupped John’s face with the hand still wrapped in its tattered cast, “Whatever it takes.”

John buried his head into the soft fabric of Virgil’s jumper. “I'll try my best not to poke you with verbal sticks, but if you shut me out, expect me snooping around that damn Pandora's box ok?”

Virgil snorted, poking John in the ribs lightly, “I’ll try not to let that happen again, in my defence though, things were a little confusing at the time… Ask away, John! I’ll do my best to let the evils out one by one,” he shuffled himself free of the blanket to wrap it further around John, laughing, “there, just like a cocoon! Are you going to be warm enough?”

His brother slowly nodded. His mind was all over the place with emotions he had not dealt with for a very long time and he wasn't sure what was going to happen to them. He had been everywhere mentally to begin with but now it just gooped together into something incoherent that seemed to snarl and gurgle.

“Hey you,” Virgil cooed, nudging John softly, “little ‘space-burrito’, you want to show me some more constellations? The Ursa Major is the one I recognised, always thought it looked like a saucepan,” he grinned, trying to cheer his thoughtful brother up.

He looked down to see John had already drifted to sleep, his pale features streaked with the heavy burden that was always on his shoulders but it was as if it was being seen for the first time; the strong willed and always alert Tracy finally showing signs of breakage that could no longer be hidden.

John, without his mask to hide behind.

Virgil sighed softly, smiling at the sight of his brother sleeping soundly. He decided to put the tent up alone rather than wake his brother, who was in need of the sleep he had reached so quickly. 

He managed to get the tent put together in no time, only hitting his hand once with the peg hammer due to the poor lighting. Virgil picked up his burrito-shaped blanket-covered brother carefully in his arms and lay him inside the tent upon both of the sleeping bags for extra padding on the cold hard floor.

Pulling the covers over John, he slipped himself under a blanket and sat in the corner of the tent. Virgil found that though he needed sleep, he could not bare to revisit those nightmares, and so instead he kept watch over his brother as he slept. Though he knew he might succumb to sleep, for now, he was happy staring silently at John. 

 


	15. Letting go

Gawd! How long has it been? John stood outside the tent and grinned at the early morning sky. There was a light sprinkle of rain and after a few beers - John had lost count after three - it was like bathing in the tears of the sky gods.

John couldn't help himself, in the open, easily drunk because he rarely ever was allowed to drink alcohol on duty - let's be honest, he was always on duty - and singing at the top of his lungs, dancing around in a soaking wet T-shirt and clean shorts.

 _“So you ask me how I think I know_ __  
_Just what makes you tick_ __  
_I know what I know why know_ __  
_I know you make me sick_   
Sports and wine

_Do- doo do do do-doo!_

__  
_Girls don't understand it_ __  
_Anything you say_ __  
_I don't understand it either_ __  
_Guess that makes me gay_ __  
_Everybody's talking 'bout you now_   
You know it's true…”

Any puddle that started to form, John jumped in it, kicked around the water, generally making a fool of himself, something he only ever did in his twin's company because around everyone else he had to be sensible, had to be ready to offer compassion and answers at the drop of a hat, take abuse from strangers in panic as a disaster was playing out and be an emotional punching bag for his siblings when needed…

Back on board Thunderbird Five, there was a holodeck which, much to John's relief, was only ever used by him. It was supposed to create opponents for sport and other activities to keep the space monitor active between lulls which could go from a few hours, day, weeks and a few times several months.

John wasn't into sport. That was Scott and Alan, the fitness junkie and the rev head.

He spent an entire week of his first month on the station programing it to make the holographic interfaces the exact likenesses of any man in film, stage or television he could find that could dance.

From Michael Jackson, David Hyde Pierce, the entire male pirate cast of Pirates of Penzance, Kevin Bacon, Michael J Fox, Hugh Jackman, Zac Efron, Justin Timberlake - you name them, he found them, their performances and managed to make it so he could learn the moves from the holograms.

Sure he had no musical talent like his siblings did, no ability to hold a tune and was clumsy as hell - but hours upon hours that were not wasted looking at the stars, dealing with his siblings problems or tending plants in the Hydroponics bay were sunk into learning every move, every piece of choreography until he could match the holographic performer with accuracy while dancing along to the songs which he had learned by heart.

Even after a few drinks, he could keep pretty good time with any tune he thought of.

Was a shame about the singing though.

Virgil awoke with a start to the sound of manic singing outside of the tent. Stretching out uncomfortably, he got up to investigate fully.

He was surprised and shocked to see a drunk looking John, prancing around the dessert in the brilliant morning sunshine the light painted his brother in rich warm tones as he flirted about in the rain.

Sniggering to himself, he called out, mid-yawn, “morning, Polaris,” he stopped to regard the little pile of beer bottles, John never could handle his drink well,. He watched as the younger man continued as if ignoring him.

John was off in his own private world, the one where nothing could touch him, pick on him and treat him like dirt. Another earworm was starting in his head, filling his body with more energy and he kicked the empty salad bowl up with his feet like it was a hat, plonking it in his head as he started dancing to the beat of this new drunken sing along.

 

 _“Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for_ __  
_Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor_ __  
_And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore_ __  
_Taking your breath, stealing your mind_ __  
_And all that was real is left behind_ __  
__  
_Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya_ __  
_It's only this moment, don't care what comes after_ __  
_Your fever dream, can't you see it getting closer_ __  
_Just surrender 'cause you feel the feeling taking over_ __  
_It's fire, it's freedom, it's flooding open_ __  
_It's a preacher in the pulpit and you'll find devotion_ __  
_There's something breaking at the brick of every wall it's holding I'll let you now_ __  
_So tell me do you wanna go?_ __  
__  
_Where it's covered in all the colored lights_ __  
_Where the runaways are running the night_ __  
_Impossible comes true, it's taking over you_ __  
_Oh, this is the greatest show_ __  
_We light it up, we won't come down_ __  
_And the sun can't stop us now_ __  
_Watching it come true, it's taking over you_   
Oh, this is the greatest show!”

 

Virgil shook his head, “ Ok circus lion, that's eno-” he was cut short when his brother did something he'd never seen any of them do.

But John managed and touched both feet back on the ground and continued on like it was nothing.

His younger brother had done a backflip without laying a hand on the ground. John then started to sing ‘Footloose’ and that's when Virgil had to grab him to stop before he burned himself out long before the day started.

 John looked at Virgil through the haze of happiness and alcohol, “Oh, Did I forget to invite you to the party? I didn't have any invitations in my pants but I'm sure I can find you one to get passed dad.” Then he lowered his voice, “The old grump doesn't let me have any fun so gotta pretend that this isn't a party and all that is coca cola, but hey who can stop you doing stuff when it's MY PARTY?! Ever had a party, Virgil? They're supposed to be fun, lots of people all squished together eating sugary and salty junk food but a party for one, now that's when you have to invent the guests, the food and the fun! Doesn't that sound brilliant? Sounds right up my alley, fucking oath I think I better have another drink because this partys starting to die.” He pushed himself off his sibling and raided the esky for another bottle of bourbon.

“You guys never buy my favorite, what's the deal with the whisky and rum anyway? I prefer cascade light myself but you guys never buy Aussie beer - this shit could peel paint of walls and quite frankly my insides but you know something, Virgil? It doesn't matter one iota as eventually everyone has to die, it's an inevitable affliction and part of the human condition we are too dumb to stare in the face-”

“Woah… Hold up a minute John, your mouth is going a mile a minute!”

“Is it? I thought I had the personality of a tree stump which us why no one wants to have a real conversation with me ever, but turns out it's everyone else that's less interesting than an inflatable dart board, present company excluded of course. Come to think of it why DO you all think that of me? I mean if you actually spoke you'll find out I've got hobbies like the rest of you all, hey did you know that Gordon likes Tintin more than Alan and said if it wasn't for Dad he'd have proposed by now? He's got a really pretty ring and EVERYTHING ready to go! As for Scott, if dad didn't keep hitting on Penny he'd have plucked the courage up to ask her out on a date already!”

John then wandered back over to Virgil and put the salad bowl on his head, chuckling, “You know, that top hat suits you, looks rather handsome but then you've always look like a greek god, it's a pity as there's more than looks to you, you're brains is the most interesting and beautiful thing on this earth - make that the universe and all every single thing screams to me that you could have ANY MAN YOU WANTED TO PIN DOWN and fuck them till they beg for mercy and you chose me. While I'm super flattered I'm still utterly confused by it all because I'm the LEAST POPULAR choice in the world to pin down and screw until neither of us can walk I'm still going to be asking myself why? And you know even if I never accept any answers I'm offered it's not going to change the fact that I REALLY FUCKING LOVE IT and never want you to change your mind, Actually wanna know a secret? Come here, closer so I can tell you.”

“Ah!” Virgil felt John’s hands grab hold of his jumper, instantly pulling him roughly towards the blonde, the smell of bourbon swirling in his nostrils.

All he got was a devious smile before John roughly kissed him and dropped some of the last few ice cubes down the back of his siblings pants.

Virgil shouted in surprise and danced himself out of John’s reach to remove the offending cubes.

He didn't get far away enough before John completely dacked him too, causing him to fall over and John then sat on top of him proudly in the rain grinning like an idiot.

“You're gonna like this.” He murmured teasingly from his position over Virgil's bare legs and before he could be questioned he was leaning down between them and nuzzling and kissing him with feverish vigor, playfully employing his tongue and with the ice cubes Virgil didn't successfully remove from his pants, ran them up along its length and over the top, making the combination of hot and cold send shockwaves into his body.

Hot and cold, just like the uneven balance to his personality now both teasing and making intimate love to his most sensitive regions.

Virgil did not recognize the shriek that was pulled from him as he forced himself not to buck his hips. Shot that felt good. Squinting his eyes against the rain, he allowed a deep growling moan to escape him, grabbing handfuls of the soaking ground around him.

“John! Uhhh… FUCK! John what are you doing to -”

The sentence was cut short as something cold was pressed between his backside, causing him to almost throw John off him with force, his sibling’s laugh punctured by drunkenly snorts until he moved the almost melted cube to replace it with one of his fingers.

Virgil’s mind was racing, he pulled slightly away from John as he smirked dangerously above him. This new foreword approach was a little concerning but hot as hell. He grasped at his lover’s back, pulling him down to meet his lips.

The kiss that followed was feverish and full of lust. The taste of alcohol on John’s tongue was a strange sensation at such an early point in the day. He couldn’t fight the uncomfortable sensation of being so exposed out in the morning light.

John was playfully continuing his explorations over Virgil’s body, hands working as quickly as he’d been talking… Heck even now in between playful love bites he was still highly chatty as if someone had just opened a can of worms.

“Every little detail across you chest, every little lick of dark hair feels so callused and abused, the roughness of your skin and the firmness of the hidden strength that lays underneath this layer of squish that bounces back like a spring under my fingers and I'm able to taste the effort and sweat in every little bite and nibble-”

“Ahhh!” Virgil cried out at John sunk his teeth hard into his thick shoulder, “John, ah! Slow down! Geez I can’t… Uhh… you’re talking so fast!”

Attempting to push his brother away from him slightly to better get a look at him, he spies a bit of blood dripping from the centre of John’s lower lip.

Holding John’s shoulders steady, Virgil makes a quiet plea, “John, please! Calm down! Fuck how much have you had?”

John had to sit up a minute, his brain swelling with pure lustful thoughts having to fight with a response, giving Virgil a slight reprieve. He then just shrugged, the universal answer of ‘damned if I fucking have a clue’ before resuming what he was doing.

Or almost. He'd forgotten what he was up to and his fingers in where the sun didn’t shine inside Virgil now had him confused. He pulled them free and darted over to a large puddle and started to scrubb his hand furiously.

He flopped back in the red mud and got an idea.

Before Virgil could get up to see what the hell he was doing, John was on top if him again, this time smearing red mud all over him in patterns with his fingers.

Virgil tried to escape from under his drunk brother, the mud cold and abrasive on his skin, “John what the hell! Fuck! Stop it!” He growled, reaching for a handful of mud, quickly wiping it on John’s face, “Ha! Revenge is sweet!”

At least it was till a kiss from his brother filled his mouth full of mud.

Spitting out the mud and holding John tightly against his chest, preventing anymore assaults, Virgil sighed in frustration, “now I know why Gordon tries to get you drunk as often as possible, John stay still a second!”

John chuckled. “Why should I?” He lowered his voice to a very sultry tone, “I want to play, maybe have a little ride, if you’ll have me on top of you.” the last words were delivered with a sexy purr. “Sure you wouldn't want to miss out on that.” He teased.

Virgil smirked seductively, lifting John with ease as he got to his knees, “wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he winked pushing the staggering John toward the tent.

“Show me what you got then, cowboy,” Virgil laughed, “let’s hope you can manage to get on without falling off.”

Virgil lay down upon the blanket he had slept under, watching John stumble towards him, “are you sure you want to do this, John? You can’t even walk straight!”

John stopped trying to drunkenly wrestle with his shirt and gave Virgil a dirty look. “Since when has that stopped you? I never damn walk straight sober anyway, what's the difference? Ohhh...the alchamahol.” He said it wrong on purpose to make it sound childish. “So I wanna throw myself at your feet without putting walls up around myself all the time, is that the wrong thing to do? Ok so if it is I'll go back outside to enjoy myself and you can just jerk off in here, no biggy.” He shrugged, the motion was for once, fluid rather than self restricted due to how much he had loosened up under the influence. He turned to leave but got caught in the entrance way and fell outside into the mud face first.

Grabbing hold of John’s ankles, Virgil dragged the younger man back into the tent, rolling him onto his back to reveal a giggling muddy face, “so that’s what all…” he gestured at John, “THIS is about? You want to loosen up?”

“Don't you like it? What's wrong with trying to be fun once in a while?” John stuck out his tongue.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t feel the need to get hammered in order to get to this point with me,” Virgil shook his head, poking John’s tongue back into his mouth, “you’re fun when you’re sober, John… though I admit, it’s a turn on to see you so carefree,” he finished, replacing his finger with his mouth, kissing the mud-covered lips of his lover.

“So...that's it then? No more fun?” John's heart sank more than it would of if he was sober as now he had nothing to hide behind. “It's ok for you to drink and get plastered whenever you like and not when I do it just once in a blue moon? Double standards, Bro -”

Virgil cut John off, using the false sense of security he’d lured his sibling into to launch himself at the slim man, knocking them both to the floor, hands roaming under his shirt, tickling ribs and hips.

“Did I say anything about stopping the fun?” He grinned wickedly at John, “I don’t believe I did!”

Rubbing his thigh against the inside of John’s leg, Virgil continued to tickle and kiss John, enjoying each of the strangled yells that it drew.

“Hey! C-cut it out!” John snorted as he started laughing uncontrollably. “No fair!” He didn't make an effort to defend himself however, his face was warming up and the booze was really kicking in now he was inside the humidity of the tent. At least outside in the rain his brain could make some coherent function, now though he was on the the road for fuzzyville.

“How’s it not fair?” Virgil laughed, easing up slightly to instead poke John’s ribs lightly, still producing the occasional snort, “besides, your laugh is so great! Why would you deprive me of that?”

John giggled. “Deprive you of what?” Oh lordy was he feeling it now...he couldn't string a sentence together nor understand anything Virgil was referring to. He still laughed though, things were getting funnier the less coherent they got for him. This… this was fun… wasn't it?

“Your laugh!” Virgil flicked the tent door flap to one side to pick up some more mud, rolling away from John to sit up grinning, mud poised for throwing, “bring it on!”

Trying to sit up took functions that should have been in control to malfunction, leaving him to crash back to the floor of the tent. It had been a long time since university and being this badly drunk for him to completely forget when he warmed up he lost most of his brain to impulse, like it took a back seat to any ounce of common sense he may have possessed. When he did manage, Virgil was quick to smear mud through his hair after grabbing him in a playful headlock with him squirming around. Beyond that though everything else that was to follow, from his point of view, had no thought process whatsoever, fully giving into the alcohol and functioning on autopilot.

Virgil was still pantsless, his back and backside were covered in mud, but that didn't stop John attempting to nip it for fun, even though the rewards was mostly a mouth full of sludge and dirt.

He then started to finish what he had began with, teasing Virgil’s private prize, doing something he never usually would while sober - have it deep in his throat and attempt to swallow whatever was to come out.

“John! Ahhhh! Wait! Uhhh!” Virgil begged, trying to warn John, “So fucking close!”

That was an understatement. John's whole mouth felt the warm substance flushed right into it, like someone tried to shovel warm rice pudding past his lips.

He pulled back, coughing and gagging, Virgil's fluids dripping all across the tent as he scrambled for fresh air. When he go outside the tent the coughing and gagging went full reflux.

Sounds of the mythical Tracy family ‘under chunder’ could be heard against the sounds of heavy rain.

Pulling the blanket around his waist, Virgil dashed out of the tent to find his brother crouched on all fours, vomiting. Wrapping his arms protectively around John, Virgil whispered soothingly into his ears, apologising repeatedly.

When John had finally cleared his stomach contents, Virgil pulled him into his lap, wrapping the blanket to cover the younger man in warmth. Holding him close, Virgil let silent tears fall from his eyes, mixing with the raindrops.

He wasn’t one hundred percent sure why he was crying, but to think that John had gotten drunk to try and tear down his walls of protection was overwhelmingly sad. He wasn’t sure whether John’s fragile state would survive what the future had to bring for them. This was like a dream world where there actions had no real consequences. Returning to the island would mean the end of that. There was no way Virgil was going to let John deal with any of this alone, if it meant taking all of the anger from his family, he would. Keeping John alive and happy felt as though it was the only thing that mattered in Virgil’s life anymore.

Virgil was no longer scared to face his family about who he was, if it meant keeping John safe, he’d move the very earth itself to see him smile. His brightest star.

His Polaris.

Ok..so that was a bad idea, John realised too late now he was sobering up in the cold. He shirked the blanket Virgil draped on him as warming up would lose his little moment of regaining control over his renegade brain.

“Sorry Virgil, too excited.” He gave his brother a weak smile. Both of them looking ridiculous sitting out in the rain. “Got to admit that it was funny though.”

Virgil huffed a small laugh at his brother, “it was, though I hope you don’t mind if I ask you not to try that again, I’m not particularly excited at the prospect of being covered in vomit.”

He shuffled the blanket over himself, staring at his rain soaked brother, who seemed to be regaining a little control of himself, “would you like me to get you some water?” Virgil inquired, ruffling his brother’s wet hair, causing droplets of water to fly in different directions, “maybe you should rest a little whilst I get things tidied here?”

“Sounds like a plan.” John agreed. “Might stay outside though. I dunno how long I'll last in control if I go back in there.”

“You do that,” Virgil smiled, patting John on the shoulder as he stood, “I, in the meantime, intend to remove all this mud,”he smirked, discarding all traces of any of his remaining clothes, standing there completely naked in the pouring rain.

It felt exhilarating, not like John’s painful cold showers, but as if the planet itself was washing him clean, water cascading down his strong muscles, taking any traces of mud, sweat and blood away with it.

He let his eyes fall shut as the rain pattered gently across his skin. It was pure bliss.

“Oh goddamnit Virgil! Where's your damn pants!”  

Virgil froze at the sound of his eldest brother’s voice.

Scott rode up to him on the back of a black steed and dismounted, frowning. “What are you doing out here in the rain? Grandma was getting worrie-” he saw their father's telescope and his jaw dropped. “You didn't drag John out here did you! Virgil, how could you be so irresponsible after what happened! Ok so I wasn't much better than you but SHIT!”

He shoved passed his naked sibling and went around the otherside of the wet tent to find John in his shorts and tshirt caked in mud, shivering but otherwise fine… until he spied all the empty bottles of alcohol.

He took a deep breath before shouting, “Fucking hell's bells Virgil! You were supposed to be looking after him not pissing about!”

“Scotty it's not -”

“Don't start John, I can't believe you are involved in this either!”

Virgil grabbed a pair of boxer shorts, shuffling them uncomfortably over his wet skin, “don’t you fucking start on him, Scott,” Virgil growled, striding over as he picked his jeans from inside the tent, “this was my idea, thought it’d be nice to make the most of the clear night to stargaze.”

He knew full well that it had been John that suggested the outing to the arse end of the desert to stargaze, but he wasn’t going to let him take any of the blame from Scott. Virgil pulled his jeans on with some difficulty before moving to stand in between his older and younger sibling, crouching to offer John the blanket.

Scott ran his hand through his wet hair in frustration. “I can understand that, but the fact you STILL out in the rain dunk as skunks is RIDICULOUS!”

“I’ve not had a single drop!” Virgil retorted, returning to stand in front of Scott. “I was just about to pack everything away ready to head back before you rocked up in some kind of mood.”

Scott’s jaw dropped. “So you just let John drink?” The anger was very evident on his face, clear that he was disgusted with his sibling as to him it was now implied that Virgil let John drink to take advantage of him - something Scott A) was disgusted that Virgil his closest sibling would do such a thing and B) with everything Scott knew about what John wanted Virgil to do to him in his dreams - Virgil was lucky he didn't get a broken nose.

Blue eyes stormed over as his brow knitted. “Put John on the horse NOW and tidy up. I'll take him inside Grandma's and sort him out while YOU have a think about what you told me… and we'll discuss it later.”

Virgil stood there in shock. He was being blamed for something he’d had nothing to do with. Growling profanities under his breath, he lifted John carefully up into his arms, taking him over to the horse and lifting him up gently to settle in the saddle with Scott’s help. Pushing roughly past Scott, Virgil went back to the tent to begin packing away.

Soaking wet and alone, Virgil watched as Scott and John disappeared into the distance. He yelled his frustration into the sleeping bag he had been rolling up. It was going to take several trips in the cold rain to get this all back to the homestead.

The ride back for John was almost solemn, at least it was till he said, “You know it was my fault, the drinking and the rain stuff.”

Scott remained quiet and John couldn't help himself, digging the hole deeper.

“I wanted to loosen up a little, be fun… like you guys all are. Guess that backfired spectacularly huh?” he thought a minute. “You're not going to beat him up are you?”

“No.”

“Then why -”

“Because he should have been looking after you, even if you were being a complete and utter idiot. This will give him time to think about that fact. Don't worry, once you got your punishment, I'll go and help him carry it all back with the horse.”

“Ah. So… what's?”

“You'll have to ask Gordon. I left him on the holocall at Grandma's talking with her till I retrieved you both. He's really worried about you, thinks something bad happened. You've got ALOT of explaining to do.”

“Ahhh shhhit.”

 

“Exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> songs are 'Sports and wine' - Ben Folds Five and 'The Greatest Show' - from The Greatest Showman


	16. Brotherly Advice

Virgil grunted roughly as he hauled the last overstuffed bag over his shoulder. Being the stubborn Tracy man he was, he’d packed as much as he could physically handle on his shoulders and back to prevent any additional unnecessary trips. The last item left for him to take was the large telescope. Though with the cast still in place upon his arm, it would not be an easy feat.

The lack of sleep was beginning to take its toll on his physical and mental strength. Picking up the telescope, Virgil began to amble the long journey back to the homestead. All he could think of was getting back to make sure John was alright. Hopefully he could avoid his eldest brother’s anger. 

Looking out across the reddish landscape, Virgil could see the outline of Scott on horseback galloping towards him at full pelt. 

_ ‘This is it,’ _ he thought to himself as he staggered on, loaded up like a pack mule. 

Virgil kept his gaze fixed on the soft muddy ground ahead of him, speeding up as best he could, not daring to look up as the furious sound of galloping hooves encroached ever closer. 

By the time the hooves ceased, replaced with a loud whinny from the majestic black horse, Virgil was bristling with anxious energy and felt his arms shaking from his raging temper.   
  
“If you’re going to shoot me in the face, at least have the decency to do it quickly,” Virgil spat fiercely as he continued to lug the equipment as quickly as he could past the horse.

Scott speedily dismounted and strode over to stand directly in Virgil’s path, “is that what you think I’m going to do?” He uttered sternly, folding his arms across his chest, observing his rain-soaked brother as he was forced to a stop, carrying all of the camping gear, his shoulders shaking.

“S’what you did to the last guy who tried to hurt one of your brothers,” Virgil retorted venomously, his chestnut eyes piercing Scott’s, “should have shot me there instead, in fact, I thought you were going to from the look on your face after you’d plastered me with the guy’s brai-”

“I trusted you to look after John -”

“And I fucked up! I GET IT! Just get it over with, Scott,” he growled, putting down the telescope and dropping the bags from his shoulders, “just promise me you’ll make sure John’s ok, he’s in a real bad place, at least grant me with a last wish of his safety.”

“What do you think I’m here to do, Virge?” Scott demanded in a warning tone, stepping towards his immediately younger brother.

“Probably here to beat seven shades of shit out of me judging by how you misinterpreted everything earlier,” the younger man hissed, eyes flashing with anger, “not even gracing me with any kind of chance to explain myself. But that’s you all over isn’t it? Shoot first, questions later.”

“You’re really not helping yourself, y’know that?” Scott replied through gritted teeth, hands balling into fists.

“Helping myself?” Virgil scoffed, waving his good arm dramatically at his chest, “I’m pretty sure that ship has long since sailed!”

“I shot that guy to protect you, you understand that right?”

“NO! You had NO idea I was in there, or what was happening to me,” Virgil roared indignantly, “Don’t you DARE say that, you  _ FUCKER _ ! I watched that guys face  _ explode _ because you couldn’t deal with your anger towards me in a normal way.”

“Can you blame me after what I’d found out?” Scott fired back, a flash of guilt running across his features.

“Fuck, Scotty, No! Why on this EARTH would you shoot? ” Virgil snapped, his voice breaking a little, “I’ve had nightmares ever since, I was  _ so sure _ you were going to shoot me.”

“WHAT?” Scott bellowed, causing Virgil to flinch, “I may have felt like beating the shit out of you, but I would NEVER do anything like that to you.”

“Actions speak louder than words, Scott,” Virgil blinked away the tears that stung his eyes, “I will do WHATEVER I have to to make sure John is okay. I don’t care what it takes at this point. He NEEDS to be the priority here. Do you understand? That man is fucking  _ everything _ to me. Whatever happens, whatever Dad’s reaction might be, I’ll deal with it.”

“I understand… I do,” Scott muttered quietly, “It’s not going to come to that, right?”

“You didn’t even trust me dignify me with a chance to explain earlier, why should I explain to you now?”

“John’s already admitted his part in all of this, I understand he got drunk whilst you were sleeping,” Scott held his hand up to stop Virgil from interrupting, “you two are as bad as each other, y’know that? You’re making my hair greyer by the day.”

“I should have stayed awake,” Virgil sighed, messing with his cast, “but sleep has been kinda hard to come by,” he shot back bitterly.

Scott moved his hand to examine the blood coming from Virgil’s shoulder where two crescent shaped wounds were weeping. The younger man backed away from the eldest, his temper still flared, eyes on fire with anger.

“Just talk to me you stubborn clam! For fucks sake I am trying to help here.”

“You are? Huh...” Virgil stared at his brother, confusion spreading over his face, “you’re kidding me, talk to you about what?”

Scott sighed, “Virge what happened? You used to talk to me about everything, now you’re surrounding yourself with these impenetrable walls and won’t let anyone in, not even John by the sounds of things.”

“What was I supposed to do? Come and cry to you because I’m in love with John? Sure! That would have gone down a real treat, Scott -”

“I didn’t even know you were gay Virge, why didn’t you tell me?” Scott softened slightly, “you know you’ll always be my brother, regardless of whatever happens. Hell, we’ve always been there for each other. We NEED each other, you and me.l”

“Even with everything that’s happened?” Virgil looked up at his older brother, biting back the tears that threatened.

“I’m going to do my damndest not to let this family fall apart, I need you standing right there with me... not against me,” the eldest offered sincerely, “I’m sorry for how things have gone, but we will fix this, both of you are too important to let things go to shit.”

“Fuck,” the younger sibling breathed, “This is so  _ fucked _ , this whole situation. I just need you to understand how fragile things are with John at the moment - it's like one false move and he’s over the edge.”

“Says the pot calling the kettle black, Virge.”

“You know things are going to be horrendous when I get back, right? Dad’ll have my head on a spear for going AWOL like that… That’s before all of this,” Virgil huffed, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eye sockets.

“And we’ll be stood together, all of us against one of him,” Scott smiled triumphantly, “We can do this. Now… The reason I came back out here was to give you a hand to carry all of this.”

“You what?” Virgil exclaimed, taken aback.

“Consider it a way towards my apology for how I’ve been acting.”

Scott pulled some the bags off the floor, securing them to the saddle silently. Virgil made an attempt to carry the remaining items but was stopped when Scott placed his hand gingerly on his broad shoulder. 

Grabbing Scott into a hug, Virgil clung on tightly in an attempt to quell his emotions.

“Now,” Scott began, pulling away and smiling at Virgil, “grab what’s left and we’ll get back to John. He’s probably going to need us after his conversation with Gordon.”

Virgil’s eyes widened but he stayed silent as he picked up the telescope and watched as Scott confidently mounted his horse. They walked back together in a peaceful silence.   
  


 

John flinched under his twin's gaze. Granted he was cleaned up an dressed before he was allowed anywhere near the holo phone in the living room but that didn't stop Gordon's amused gloating expression staring into his soul.

“You're a bloody card! See! What did I tell you?! You get into so much trouble even without my help!”

“Give it a rest, will you?”

“Pffft! No way, this is GOLDEN!” Gordon gwaffed, the tawny red head grinning from ear to ear. “So...who’s the lucky fella?”

“Gordon! Quit it!”

Gordon’s hologram waved John's protest off like it was a whiny little complaint. “Why? Grandma's gone upstairs and Scott’s outside...why is Virgil still in ear shot? You don't want him jealous you got laid while you were supposed to be serving punishment?” Gordon watched the minute offerings of body language his sibling tried to hide and his face dropped into a large ‘O’. “You didn't! Tell me you didn't! You have...holy fuck John, that's bad on so many levels!”

“Stop it Gordon! Keep it down!”

“So you’re not denying it? You actually did do the nasty with our older-”

“Yes! I admit it! Is that what you want to hear, Gordo?!” John snapped at his twin in annoyance. He was still a little intoxicated and unwell in the guts and couldn't tolerate his teasing.

“Woah, I was just joking but FUCK ME DEAD Johnno…” his voice petered out. “You used protection right?”

John wanted to shout ‘NO!’ at the hologram but decided against it. What he was already doing was wrong to everyone else on so many levels, adding to it wouldn't win him any more friends. “Yes, we did, not that it's your business.”

“Uh sort of is, your my damn twin and Virgil is our older brother! You involved me the second you committed incest! Cripes almighty…”

“Don't you DARE start lecturing me on what's right and wrong you piece of dog's wiz-”

“Easy, John.” Gordon’s image raised it's hand defensively. “I’m just concerned. Everything's got to be a mess for you and I'm… I don't want you hurt more than… sheesh I don't know what to say.”

“Then don't. I already know dad's going to do more than flip his nuts over this, but I don't care. I… just want to be wanted and liked, to be able to return it… if I get loved out of it too then I'm not going to say no, no matter where it from.”

Gordon’s holographic expression softened. “I know, which is why I'm concerned. If something goes wrong you're going to be the one who suffers, Not Virgil. It will hurt him I'm sure about that as it would hurt anyone, but I know it will destroy you. I don't want to see that happen, John. I'd personally will ring anyone's neck if they broke you.”

“I know, Gordon.” John smiled weakly. “You know I'd do the same for you.”

“Great minds think alike!”

“No, more like channeling each other's rage through another body. If anything Scotty will be suspicious of you and I next, with how close we are sometimes.”

Gordon let out an amused snort. “Something tells me Virgil clearly was, he got more intimate with you than I would dare,” he winked. “And you know we were always borderline to begin with.” He then frowned. “Wait, Scott knows about this? He approved of it?!”

“Er… I'm not entirely sure. I just know he knows but I have no idea how much. I hope he doesn't say anything to Virgil that changes his mind about us.”

“I'm sure it will be fine, Scott only wants what's best for both of you. He'll want to make sure both your interests are covered.” Gordon assured his twin. Then he grinned evilly. “Unlike myself - I'll clock anyone who'll do anything that hurts you, no matter who they are.”

John nervously slicked back some on the loose wet blonde strands of hair that were starting to fall as it dried and smiled shyly. “You were hoping it was gonna be you right?”

“Weeeell, I wouldn't have said no to you.” Gordon chuckled. “I'd try anything once, but you lack boobs brother dear so that sort of removes some of the attraction.”

This made John laugh, shaking his head. Got to hand it to Gordon, he WOULD give anything a shot at least once if there was the possibility of danger involved.

“Just be careful, ok John?” Gordon’s tone grew softer. “You know Virgil likes to be in control of his situation and I know you do as well to a degree, but he's got the advantage of social skills you don't from being alone in space so much.  Don't let him manipulate you the way dad has with the rest of us just to stay the ‘boss’.”

“I'm sure we're fine.”

“Oh? Then how come you're the one Scott said was drunk?”

“That was my decision, Virgil didn't know until he woke up. Probably good he stayed that way, probably not smart to have drunken sex in the rain, even though I wanted to. Thought it would be fun, heck thought drinking would help make me more fun to be with.”

“Did it work?”

“No. I don't think he liked me drunk. No one likes me drunk, though I struggle to find any reason anyone would want me while I'm sober.”

Gordon crooked his eyebrows. “Well that's something at least. He respects you. Just don't get any ideas ok, John? If he loves you as you are, don't be anything else than that, promise me?”

John nodded.

“Hey, chin up. Angels don't get sad on demons ok?”

This made John laugh. The demon of course was himself he was referring to, John was his angel that kept him and his big mouth out of trouble. The very notion that the devil himself would swoop in and rescue him had some sort of hilarious annotation for him and Gordon knew it too. Tintin even added to the joke by calling them  Crowley and Aziraphale from ‘Good Omens’ the demon and the angel that stopped the apocalypse in a English town of Lower Tadfield. immediately, they embraced it as the idea of a demon and an angel screwing up royal was too funny not to.

“So… exactly HOW much trouble am I in?”

“From who? Dad or Alan?” Gordon chuckled. “Be specific, John as clearly Scott is taking mercy on your sorry arse.”

“Alan? What have I done to - ohhhh. Well he can wait and shut his whiny butt and lump it for another few days.”

Gordon burst out laughing. “Until Scott comes back with Virgil, he'll have to.” he let out a sigh as he had to get a bit more serious. “You’re staying with Grandma till we sort this out right? I don't want you just disappearing like dad wants. You know I'd hunt you down if you did.”

John lowered his gaze. “I want to come home. I want to be with my brothers…”

Gordon nodded. “That's all we want too, John. We'll figure something out, I promise you. Twins oath.”

John let out a light snort as he smirked. “Twin's oath.”


	17. MINE

Arriving back at the main homestead, Scott passed Virgil the bags that had been stacked onto the saddle. Leaving him to enter the house alone, Scott went to return the horse to the stables.

Virgil dropped the rest of the camping equipment at the door and trudged through the door in search of John, finding him at the very least dressed, but stuffing all his belongings into the duffle bag he originally brought with him to the ranch.

Fearing the worst, Virgil tentatively asked, “what are you doing?”

“What's it look like?” John stopped for a minute, flashing a grin. “Scott is going to fly out once it fines up, you going home in the moth and I'm going to sneak a lift back in Thunderbird One's cargo hold with my bike.” He took a deep breath and stood tall. “Dad's going to have to face me sooner or later. He can't ignore me forever.”

Virgil cupped John’s face and kissed him tenderly, pulling their foreheads to rest together, staring deep into John’s bright eyes, “right there with you, remember?” Virgil smiled, pulling John into a tight hug, “at least you get the spacious cargo hold! I’ll have to cram back into the tiny moth,” he shuddered, “suppose I deserve it for stealing the damned plane in the first place.”

“At least Alan is still on Thunderbird Five.” John chuckled, resting his hands over Virgil’s. “By the way, not sure about whatever Scott and you might have said outside, but I'm glad your in a better mood. Gordon says ‘Hi’ in his ‘break my twins heart, I'll gut you in your sleep’ kind of way.”

He was quick to press a finger to his siblings lips. “He figured it out himself by accident and being a dumb arse. You know I can't hide squat from Gordon, however he was a little devastated I chose to sleep with you over him.” John joked, watching the flash of jealousy cross Virgil’s face in a nanosecond.

“He wouldn't, but don't get the wrong idea if we start behaving like we used to when we were together alot. Gordon will do it just to watch you get mad,” John then removed his finger and moved in closer to whisper seductively, “ And I'll do it because I'll know you be very possessive afterwards...and I may just like it…” 

With that in the open, he kissed him on the lips and wouldn't let Virgil go, enjoying the little moment of shock to make out with him.

There was a polite cough. 

“You should wait till you close the door, you may give Grandma a heart attack.”

Virgil instantly jumped away, like he’d been attacked by a red hot branding iron, hiding his flushed face in John’s neck. John snorted quietly.

“What’s life without a little danger?” John smiled, laughing at Virgil who groaned loudly into his shirt. 

“Shut up, John,” Scott snapped, failing to keep the grin on his face. 

“Why should I? You jealous like Gordon is?” he teased, and to emphasis this, slid one hand down the back of Virgil's jeans into one of the pockets to pinch his bum, earning a jump from the older man. All of them were close to someone in the family to one degree of another that was almost platonic and borderline sexual - the fact John and Virgil had fully crossed that line might be bigger issue with family relationships than they first realised. 

A look of pure shock crosses Scott’s face, “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he sighed, placing his palm across his face. 

Virgil looked at John, mortified by his boldness in front of Scott, laughing nervously as he saw the eldest’s expression shift into a soft smile once more.

“Yes well, no surprise from Gordon on THAT one.” Scott seemed to accept the answer. “But don't you get any ideas about me and Virgil.”

“Too late,” John purred. “Your face has gone sooo crimson. Wonder what you'll do if I groped the front?”

“John, don’t…” Virgil pleaded, shuffling his feet in embarrassment .

Too late, John’s hands were all over his body causing his breath to hitch.

Scott moved fast, and it was seconds before he had pinned John to the nearest wall as far away from Virgil as possible. It took a moment or two to register what he was doing before he hastily let go.

“Scott!” Virgil shouted, quickly stepping between John and his older brother, pushing Scott backwards roughly, “Back off!” He called before turning to John, “are you okay?”

“I'm fine, but Scotty isn't. He's jealous.”

“No he’s not, John,” Virgil whipped his head around to look at Scott, confused, “are you Scott?”

“Want to bet on that? One fast hard fuck session that he is.”

“JOHN!” Scott snapped, his face now the colour of beetroot. The youngest was laughing so hard now, he had caught Scott out.

“John, perhaps we shouldn’t push our luck considering Scott’s helping us,” Virgil whispered through gritted teeth. 

As Virgil glanced over, Scott immediately averted his gaze to the floor. The second eldest turned back towards John, eyes wide in shock.

John shrugged, giving into pressure. “I just want to know where I stand if I totally fuck this up with dad and we get separated… and who's going to jump in my grave.” the last bit was said mildly possessively after he poked his tongue out.

“What the fuck is going on?” Virgil demanded, looking between both of his brothers, “you’re fucking with me right?”

“Isn't it obvious?”

“I dont have to take this,” Scott snorted with a hint of envy. “Just go fuck each others brains out ok? You won't get the chance once we get home.”

John's expression darkened. “He's mine.” Came a deep growl. “Don't get any ideas, Scotty.”

Virgil managed to catch John around his waist as he threw himself towards their eldest sibling, “Scott!” Virgil roared, holding tightly onto John, who was thrashing his legs, “Get the fuck out… NOW!”

Shocked by his brother’s tone, Scott quickly turned on his heels to exit the room. Virgil finally let John free from his arms and glared at him.

“What?” John growled as predatory as he could. “You’re mine, he had chances I didn't and missed out. No way is he getting you from under me.”

Virgil grabbed John’s shoulders, studying his siblings eyes for a moments , “calm down, Polaris, I don’t want you going supernova on me,” he smiled, “no one is taking me away from you. I’m all yours and you’re stuck with me… I’m sure he’s only messing around.”

“I assure you he isn't. Scott is not Gordon who thinks it would be a hoot to tease you for shits and giggles. If he thinks I'm invading his ‘bro’ time with you, he'll try to remedy it, Apollo.”

“He wouldn’t dare… anyway, if you’re correct,” Virgil smirks, cocking a thick eyebrow up, “I believe I owe you a fast hard fuck session?”

John seemed to calm down. “That you do.” He grinned mischievously. “I think you owe me a ride.”

Grinning wildly, Virgil pushed the door shut and pulled John towards him, kissing him manically. They stumbled backwards until the brunette’s knees hit the bed, causing John to land on top of his lover. Virgil gently rubbed the younger man’s excitement through his clothes, sucking on his bottom lip before nipping it quickly between his teeth. 

“Hey, before I go -” Scott reopened the door, just as John had gotten on top of Virgil, half naked and ready to strip off his shirt.

“Fuuucking hell! Hey, mind if I -”

“No!”  John practically was airborne slamming himself against the door to shut Scott out. “GO AWAY!”

He turned to see Virgil start to sit up and was quick to pounce on him, pinning him back down with all the force he could muster. “Mine….” He growled like he was possessed before viciously kissing his lover on the lips. “You’re mine damn it!”

Virgil was shocked by this new side of John he’d not witnessed before, a possessive and animalistic lover. He fucking loved it.

“Fuck… John… Uhh!” He moaned breathlessly between John’s ferocious kisses and bites.

Grinding himself up to meet his lover, Virgil held onto John’s hips, forcing them hard against his own excitement. The friction was unbelievable. He was unable to stop any of the moans that escaped him, completely engrossed in what John was causing his body to feel.

John was aware he was being needlessly rough but after all of Gordon's teasing, the last hint of alcohol still in his system and his discovery he was not alone in wanting Virgil’s affection he was determined to give his lover the ultimate hard one.

He nipped, took sharp bites and before Virgil was aware of it, John was between his legs and pressing his hips into his own, no warning, no delicate action like the first time, stripping off his shirt and returning to roughhouse him.

He was as rough as his kisses.

Virgil bit back a yelp of pain by sinking his teeth into John’s shoulder, shuddering as his lover set up a merciless pace. His mind was soon clouded with pleasure as John repeatedly hit an intense sweet spot inside of him. Virgil was completely overwhelmed and unable to prevent a loud moan from echoing around the room. 

The bite in the shoulder was deep, especially since the area still had not healed after the last rough session they had. Every time Virgil took a mouthful, John pushed faster and harder with as much strength that he had, forcing another sharp chomp into another section of shoulder. It was a vicious cycle and one that brought John to climax way earlier than he usually would have.

The pain, the effort and the desperation to claim Virgil as his own all erupted and as it did so, John bit into his lover's side under his arm so Virgil was forced to cry out for him.

Perfect.

“John! Unghh!” Virgil cried as his own release hit hard, “FUCK!” 

Shuddering as they panted breathlessly together, Virgil let his head fall back against the bed. He felt exhausted and and a satisfying ache below as John shifted away from him, collapsing to the bed next to him.

Shit! No wonder he didn't get aggressive often! The energy was all gone, John felt as heavy as a puppet with all his strings knotted and the handles dropped on top of his back, crushing him. Lying in his front, he struggled to get air back into his lungs.

“Sorry Virgil.” He grunted, his heart pounding out of control. “Sorry for letting you down with that behavior. I wont again, I swear.”

Virgil turned his head towards his sibling frowning, “What… on Earth are you… talking about Johnny?” He whispered between breaths, “that was incredible! Are you good?”

“It was too short. Should have gone longer.” John buried his head into the pillow.  “I can't keep that up long… I'm sorry.”

“I don’t think I could have taken much more, hell, I’m only just beginning to see straight again,” Virgil laughed, breath hitching as he tried to breathe again. Turning his body over towards John, he pulled the younger man into his chest, sighing.

“That was insane, you are incredible,” Virgil paused, kissing John on the nose, “and I fucking adore you.”

“You’re mine…” John purred as he sunk into Virgil’s embrace. 

“All yours,” he whispered, shuffling the covers over them both with his legs, “and you’re all mine.” 


	18. Returning Home

Scott ran from the door that had been slammed in his face and settled himself in the bathroom next door to where his brother’s were… That was… well it should have been expected, they were flirting before and he knew from his sleep talking sibling that rough play was a part of it but -

Curse John for calling him out. Well, sort of. Scott only started feeling jealousy rise up, especially now since he visually saw what was going on between his siblings. 

He never felt anything like it before. 

Maybe it was because he and Virgil were always close or maybe it was because he never once thought Virgil would stray off for another but Scott always felt they'd never have anything between them.

Until now.

What was more confusing was the added layer of sexual tension. THAT was never present with him over Virgil before.

And with John, no less.

Skinny, scrawny, weakling John.

It was natural though. Virgil would have attached himself to anyone half the man he was just so he could protect them, nurture them….dominate and control them.

He didn't think he'd want to be the one he wanted Virgil to be attached to but there it was, in the open for even John to see.

Fuck, he originally was with his father's decision about John, then felt pity for him and now -

He wanted to drop him into the middle of the ocean.

Not to hurt him… but just remove him from the picture. Maybe getting rid of John would make everything and his feelings go back to normal.

Problem was, he couldn't be the one to drop them into the kacky. That would have him in trouble too - especially if Gordon knew that he knew about the relationship. That boy had a punch like a steel bar when provoked. He had to get creative.

Maybe there was a way? Granted Virgil may get hurt out if it, but things would go back the way they were, John shunted permanently into space and Virgil back to being his best mate - maybe more, after all, he'll need comforting after what he had planned.

And he wouldn't even have to lift a finger.

Hearing muffled moans from the room beside him only seemed to feed his jealousy. He pressed his ear to the wall and listened to the two lovers. 

Closing his eyes, Scott imagined himself for a moment to be the one to cause the soft moans that Virgil was making -

“John! Unghh! FUCK!”

Scott’s eyes snapped open, jealousy now boiling over. He growled and left the bathroom, heading straight to Thunderbird One to prepare her for take off. Time to put the plan in action.  
  


 

The flight back to Tracy Island was more or less uneventful - unless you were John, in which case ending up pinned under your own motorbike in Thunderbird One's cargo hold was your idea of uneventful - and when the great rocket jet landed hours ahead of the Tiger moth, Jeff pounced on the son he banished from the island and dragged him into his private office.

Scott was grinning. Maybe he won't have to interfere afterall? John could quite possibly, do it all for him. He stood outside the door and listened.

John stood in the middle of the room where Jeff had left him and circled around his desk. When John was little this motion used to terrify him but now he stood tall and in an act of defiance, brushed himself off.

“I thought Scott gave you my message.” He said, quietly.

“That he did.”

“So, why did he bring you back here?”

“I wanted you to tell me to my face.”

Jeff snorted, amused. “Really? Is that so?”

John nodded, his brow knotting. “What’s wrong with that? You afraid of me? You can do me the honour of telling me to my face.” John folded his arms. “The same respect would be nice, as let's face it, you expect me to do so, so I expect it too.”

Jeff looked his son up and down, glaring at him trying to stare him down. It would work too, if it was one of his other sons, they would back down and rethink their demands.

But John stared back, the blue eyes of his mother burning holes into him in return. John had the luxury of living mostly on his own for years after university going straight into International Rescue and no longer felt the threat of the older Tracy the others did. If anything, he was now the rogue in the team that needed to be reminded of his place before there was any damage.

Jeff reached into a drawer on the desk and placed something heavy on the top. It wasn't loaded, but his son wasn't to know that.

 

Gordon spotted Scott in the hallway and wandered over to investigate. “Hey, where's Virgil? Thought you were bringing him back with you?”

“He had to fly Alan’s plane back.”

“Oh yeah I forgot about that.” Gordon then smiled. “So was John ok being left at the ranch? It's going to be hard on him and Virgil if they've only just - you know.”

“Don't have a clue what you’re on about Gordon.”

Gordon frowned. “Yeah and I'm the queen of Sheba.”

“Put on a dress and you may just well qualify.”

“Oh you're hilarious, Scott. You should be a comedian.”

Just then the door opened to the office and Gordon jumped in surprise to see his twin, who was fuming mad step out, look at him and glare at Scott before he headed upstairs for the bedrooms.

“Where you eavesdropping!? Oh Scotty, please share!”

Scott shook his head. “Gordon even if I heard a word I wouldn't tell you. That was probably the quietest argument ever in there and we'll never know what over.”

Just then Jeff stepped out. “Scott, a word please.” Scott then gave Gordon a worried look, knowing he was going to be in trouble for bringing John back.

But it would be worth the lecture later on.

Gordon stared at the closed door suspiciously, longer than necessary, before shaking his head and going off to follow his twin. Something was going on and he didn't like the atmosphere that was storming around.

He found his twin sitting in his room, head in his hands. He sat beside him and brought him into a cuddle. “Hey, whatever dad said, it's going to be alright. I promise you.”

John looked up at him and sighed heavily. “At least I get my job back. Dad may not be happy with me but I think he was impressed I had the guts to stand up to him, If he'd admit it that is.”

“I sense a ‘but’.”

John nodded. “I'm never allowed down again.”

“What! That's asinine!”

John gripped Gordon's shoulders. “I'll still get to see you guys, when you have to send up fuel and supplies. Dad can’t leave me there without human contact, he knows that. But no more parties, social events, nothing of that sort. Heh , not that it matters, only you remember our birthday.”

Gordon pulled John in close. “You know I can never forget it.” He gave him a squeeze before adding, “what's going to happen with you and Virgil then? You guys won't get as much chances to be alone unless its a maintenance run.”

“I don't know. We'll figure something out. We'd have to. Absence breeds creativity.”

“Well I'll help anyway I can.” Gordon said, hugging him tight.

They sat together for a while, catching up on gossip until John had fallen asleep on Gordon from jet lag and the rest of the crazy activities he had gotten up to that day. His twin lay beside him, holding him tight like he did when they were little. Sure Virgil was now going to want to protect John more than he used to - but he had to remember Gordon always came first in protecting his own twin brother.

 

Virgil could feel his stomach churning with nerves as the silhouette of Tracy Island looked over the horizon. He’d had the long and tiring journey to imagine what terrible thing he had waiting for him upon his arrival. He just wanted to see John, to hold him and reassure him. Was he still here? Had their father stepped in before Virgil had a chance to say his part?

Lining the Moth up with the small runway, Virgil gently set the biplane down, taking it into the hangar from where he had stolen it all those days ago. Carefully extracting his tired body from the uncomfortable cockpit, Virgil scrambled down the side of the plane and dropping softly to the floor. He retrieved the chucks and fitted them back in place surrounding the small tyres.

Straightening up he heard a deep laugh rumble through his ears. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he turned around. 

“So… the fugitive returns,” Jeff smirked, walking towards his second eldest son, a stern look quickly falling across his features, “do you have any idea of the danger your actions could have caused?”

Virgil remained silent as his father stood in front of him, anger written all over his face. The younger man returned what he hoped was a defiant look.

“EXPLAIN YOURSELF!” Jeff bellowed, causing Virgil to flinch visibly, eyes widened in shock.

He knew that his father would be angry, but hell, this wasn’t the kind of shouting he was accustomed to.

Composing himself slightly and clearing his throat, Virgil spoke, “you had me locked away in my own room, like a prisoner! I spoke to John and I was worried that he was in troub-”

“And just HOW did you communicate with John when all means of communication were removed for you to get proper, undisturbed rest?”

“I used the holophone in John’s room.”

Jeff’s stare could have melted lead. “You were not being punished at the time, boy. You were left alone to recover. Your brother already expressed that you needed it and I had to admittedly agree. However, your brother's were serving punishment for how they behaved at the hospital and that should have been respected.”

“I’m disappointed in you son. Out of everyone, you were the one who was supposed to have benefited from downtime alone, instead I hear you've gallivanted off to your Grandmother's after John who we can't say for sure is the reason you’re hurt more than you should have been.”

He pinched his brow and let out a very frustrated sigh. “If it was to help you recover better away from home, I could have taken you there and found your brother punishment elsewhere. However, that no longer matters.”

“I've reinstated John, but on probation for three months.  He'll be made the station's permanent resident. You and Scott will help him load the supplies on board the station tomorrow and when it's time for the resupply in three months,  you'll be the one doing the run. It's not a punishment for you as such, but your grandmother has put in good words for both of you so I'm going to let it slide - for now. Besides,” Jeff cracked an amused smile. “Scott and Alan were never cut out for a desk job, neither of them can sit still long enough and have rather short tempers. Not ideal for dealing with emergencies on the bandwidth. We’ll see what happens after the probationary period, I have plans to upgrade your brother's role if he hasn't caused problems in that time.”

Virgil stood, perplexed by the apparent olive branch his father was offering. The Tracy patriarch had gone from being ready to erase John from existence to giving him another chance. However this was not warming Virgil’s heart in the slightest. He was going to be away from John for three months! After their time spent with each other over the last week and a bit, this idea of separation was most unwelcome to Virgil. 

“Upgrade his roll?” Virgil questioned, cocking his head to the right, “How?”

“We're planning to give the entire communications network an overhaul. Once done it will need someone who can not just take calls, but do full risk assessments, give you locations extra data, that sort of thing. A more hands on role than it is now.” Jeff smiled softly. “I'm getting old, Virgil. I can't run everything from ground level anymore and plus, this new system will be far more efficient with direct access to each other's communications between ships and vehicles as I understand it as it stands we lose all contact with Thunderbird Four the moment it goes under the surface of the water. This new system means we won't have that issue.”

“It will be a very useful system, Virgil. It will mean accidents like your last rescue won't happen again due to miss information.”

Virgil pondered his father’s words, he understood the improvements were indeed required and would be welcomed. But something didn’t sit right.

“You said John would be made the station’s permanent resident?” Virgil muttered, “What do you mean by that?”

Jeff smiled, “It means there would be no need for John to return, we can provide all he needs on supply runs. Now, enough talking about business, I have plans to put into action and many things to organise with Brains.”

Jeff quickly walked away from Virgil, leaving him astounded that John was being sent away to live in space. He’d only get to see him once every three months at best! 

Virgil immediately made his way towards the corridor containing his sibling’s bedrooms. Upon arriving in the corridor, he saw Scott stood in the doorway of John’s room, staring straight at him, grinning.

“Looks like you’ve got quite the competition here, Virge,” Scott smiled sickly, gesturing into John’s room.

Virgil cautiously approached the room and peeked in through the doorway. The twins were wrapped around one another on the bed, limbs intertwined and sleeping soundly. Virgil remembered John’s words from before, reminding himself of their fierce protective attachment to each other. Gordon had probably spent this whole time worried sick about John. It was no surprise that the other twin was so happy to have his double act back together, The second eldest looked on fondly at his brothers, ignoring Scott’s attempts to make him feel jealousy towards Gordon.   


“You’re ridiculous, Scott,” Virgil sighed, walking away from him, “just close the door and leave them alone.”

Scott rolled his eyes, “Don't  come crying to me if you lose out.” He snorted, grinning and walking away.

Virgil stepped in the room, closing the door and as he did Gordon was alert.

“It's not what you think -” he started to say before Virgil shushed him.

“I know you two used to be very close.” Virgil said softly. “And still are. As John said more or less to me ‘love me, love my twin.’ It wasn't said as something optional and I know sometimes you two channel one another's emotions and behaviors. If I have to love you too because I want John's love and affection, I'm willing to accept that.”

Gordon nodded. “Then come and join us. I'm sure John would much rather like to wake up in your arms all safe too.”

“It would be my pleasure.”

Gordon shifted his body to allow Virgil to lie behind John on the double bed, wrapping his arms protectively around him before weaving his own body back in from the other side, both cuddling the blonde close to their bodies. John let out a little sigh, but still slept, maybe even better than he was doing because he was safely protected by those he loved.

  
  



	19. A Twin's Blessing

The next morning, after an early jog around the island, Virgil padded quietly into the kitchen to grab some breakfast before he needed to shower. He’d had his injuries checked yesterday evening by Brains and had his cast replaced with a new one. The old cast had survived well, though it was filthy and he had been glad to be rid of the damned thing. The kitchen was thankfully empty, leaving him to prepare some toast in peace. He removed his shirt to cool down as he set the bread intro the toaster.

The chestnut haired Tracy felt apprehensive about the events that today would bring. As he buttered the toast, his mind wandered to how he was going to be able to deal with John being ripped from him almost immediately after they had started to be together, giving them no time alone since they had set foot on the island. 

He had left John and Gordon alone to catch up with each other. Their closeness was something that was always endearing to him. Though they were all brothers, the twins had that extra level of connection and understanding. He and Scott had always been close too, being the two eldest when they were kids meant you had to be united or be thrown to the younger siblings to be picked apart. Now he was concerned with John’s discovery of Scott’s feelings, though Virgil had no interest in Scott like he did in John. 

It was so different, though he admired and loved his eldest brother as nothing more than just that, a brother. John was the only person he’d ever had eyes for. John was an intelligent, patient and gentle person and there existed an endless list of qualities that he found endearing about the blonde half of the double act.

Quickly shoving the toast into his mouth, Virgil slung his top over his shoulder and headed towards the bathroom. He pushed open the door and closed it, turning on the water and running the shower until it was sufficiently hot before stepping under the cascading water. 

There was a gentle tap on the door. “Mind if I talk to you a bit, Virgil?”

He let out a sigh. “Come in Gordon.”

Gordon entered and sat on the lid of the toilet seat. “Hey, I just want to say, thank you. Never really got the chance.”

“Thank you for what?”

“Making John happy, feel wanted. All that sort of thing. It's been a while since I felt good vibes from him. He rarely ever feels happy you know? He's always faking it. It's nice to see genuine smiles again.”

“Well, I… geez Gordon, that's nice of you to say.”

“He's going to miss you all alone in Five.”

“I know, I'll miss him too.”

“Do me one favour though.”

“Such as?”

“Please don't manipulate his vulnerabilities for personal gain. We talked for awhile before you got home and, while he didn't think anything of it, or failed to notice, some stuff he told me while excitedly chatting about how much he loves and respects you made me question your motives a little.” Gordon cross his legs and rubbed them, looking around the bathroom.

“I'm not saying you don't love him or anything, clearly you do it's pretty evident. I'm just saying that a few things made me think he was a little ‘manipulated’ his behavior for you to be in control. Please don't do that. That's what dad does.” he coughed before explaining.

“Dad makes John feel weaker than him or makes him feel sorry for something he never should be sorry for. By the sounds more than once you've made him feel a little guilty for doing things you don't like in order to turn the tables on him in the bedroom. Please, I never want to hear that you've done that ever again. John never gets to be in control of anything in his life and he doesn't see when he's being played and is always made to feel like the aggressor even though he's the true victim. Dad’s probation thingy is an example of that.” Gordon sneered.

“Can you believe that? What sort of bargain was that for John? Disown you or work for me in a prison equivalent at a cost of your freedom, your independence with a ‘promise’ of getting a better job out of it? Know what MY worry is? I worry he'll make one mistake and he'll be cut off from us, left to fend for himself in space without us able to reach him. Sure you can fix things like make recirculating oxygen and stuff but John hasn't got your engineering skills. If he attempted to set that sort of system up to prevent death up there without your help or Brains, he'd die faster by mistake or lack of knowledge.”

Gordon's voice got quieter. “Please protect him, Virgil. There's only so much I can do - you have more access than I ever will to protect him.”

Virgil turned around in the shower, uncomfortably covering himself so as to speak to Gordon. The aquanaut always had a knack for awkward timings, catching you at your most vulnerable with no chance of escape.

“You have my word Gordo,” he offered sincerely, “I’ll protect him with all that I’ve got. I can’t say I’ve gotten everything right so far… far from it in fact… But I swear to you, John is the most important person to me in this universe. I’ll protect him if it’s the last thing I do.”

Gordon nodded. “You know what I'll do if you don't?” He grinned with an evil twinkle in his brown eyes.

Virgil gulped, protecting his privacy a little more now, “no, but I can imagine my future being painful..” he trailed off.

“Well if you live. I mean I've never fillited a human before with a fish knife, but there's always a first time. It's probably the same. Maybe I should practice on some rabbits when Alan drags me on his stupid annual hunting trips?”

“I seriously worry about you sometimes,” Virgil laughed nervously, “I promise it won’t come to that, I’m serious about this…”

Turning his back to Gordon and sticking his hair under the water, Virgil finished up his shower and shut off the water. 

“Good.” Gordon said standing up. “As I'm not joking one bit on my threat.” His voice was dark and icy as he handed Virgil a towel before leaving.

Virgil carefully took the towel from Gordon, wrapping it around himself before stepping out of the shower. Gordo could be a terrifying and formidable force when required, much more powerful than most when someone he cared for was pushed or hurt. The older man understood if he was unable to protect his Polaris, his days would be numbered and his punishments would be painful.

Not much occurred the rest of the day, the flight into space to Thunderbird Five was pretty somber, John’s concentration was focused on piloting and not killing his passengers until they safely docked with the space station. When they left the airlock into the main level of the station; Alan was there, bags already packed, ready to go.

Scott shook his head, smiling and slapping Alan on the shoulder. “Got to help us unload first, kid.”

Virgil stood tall as Alan fixed him with a brattish look, arms folded across his chest like a child, “Alan,” he acknowledged quietly, nodding his head in greeting.

Alan opened his mouth to say something, but John shook his head. “You didn't miss anything, Alan. Trust me on it, you were better off here.”

Virgil sniggered slightly as he watched Alan get shot down by John. He turned and entered Thunderbird Three to collect a few of the bags from the cargo before walking them into the station, “where do you want these, John?”

“What's in them?” John checked inside. “Ok, take the elevator in the middle of the deck and you want deck two, storage room. Should be labeled, it's opposite the reactor room.”

Virgil quickly flashed a smile at John before trudging away from his brother’s to find the storage room. After dropping the bags and things into storage and packing them away as best he could. Virgil continued to make several more trips with equipment before finally setting down the last few bags.

Walking away from the storage room, Virgil made his way quietly to the second level of the space station to where John would be spending his personal time over the next few months. Making his way to the sleeping quarters, he quietly slipped a couple pieces of folded paper in behind a few of John’s personal effects that remained on the station, even in his absence.  

Smiling to himself, Virgil turned to head back to the communications deck to rejoin his siblings.

John was busy getting a run down of things he needed to keep an eye on over the channels from Alan so Scott, while everyone was busy was slipping hidden holo recording devices around in each room of the station his sibling would frequent, including his personal cabin which on a whole, looked more lived in than his bedroom at home. As he hid the devices he came across a piece of paper poking out from under one of John’s science fiction novels and read it. 

He stuffed it into his pocket, all crumpled. “Fat chance he'll get THAT message, thank you Virgil, you predictable mushy marshmallow.” and slipped out into the other crew rooms until he was satisfied most of the station was now bugged.

“You'll slip up Johnny, and when you do I'll catch you. Then Virgil will give you up and everything will be normal. You'll still be part of the family, but no longer in a position to ruin it.”

Scott returned to the communication deck, searching for his brother’s. He felt a harsh slap on his shoulder as Virgil walked over. 

“Can you take Alan to Thunderbird Three for a moment?” He whispered, looking at Scott with his eyes pleading, “I just need a moment to say bye, please?”

Scott frowned reluctantly before nodding in agreement. Making his way over to Alan, Scott picked up the bags and asked the youngest to pick up the rest so they could carry out pre-flights. 

John ran his fingers over the control panel in the main communications room. He didn't think he missed it but it was a part of who he had been for years, ingrained in his soul. He didn't know what he would be without this station.

He sighed, and headed for the ladder that led into the dome and started to climb up. After all, it was the best view for watching the red rocket leave back for earth, a sight which after a while made him sad he wasn't on it.

Virgil watched from a distance as John disappeared up the ladder, though he waited for Alan and Scott to be well out of sight before walking over and clambering up the ladder after John. 

“John?” He offered, announcing his presence as he reached the dome. It had been so long since he had been here that he had almost forgotten the beauty of the dazzling starlight that filled the small room. 

The second eldest moved silently to stand at his brother’s side, catching his hand in his own and squeezing it tightly.

“Haven't seen nothing yet.” John smiled softly, letting go of his brother's hand and moving to the control panel and turning off all the light that illuminated the dome, leaving them illuminated by the stars and the orbiting planet alone. His skin which was usually a pale sunburn hazard, now practically glowed ethereal under the universe’s gaze, his light blonde hair going platinum against the darkness. Behind Virgil the huge telescope groaned and creaked as it moved around into position, giving him a small startle but once it stopped John moved over to a tech panel by the seat for the astronomer and tapped a few keys gingerly till a holographic image filled the room.

It was was the Tracy Quazar system - in all it's colourful glory against the starfield that made the glass of the dome almost invisible, like Virgil and John where standing in empty space.

John then stepped into the middle and stripped his uniform off to his shorts, the soft smile still on his features. Now his whole frame glowed in the colourful angelic light.

He silently held out his left hand, gesturing to Virgil.

Virgil reached out and grasped John’s outstretched hand, his eyes taking in the incredible beauty of both the universe around him, and the one that stood before him, painted in the colourful light of the Quazar system and surrounding stars.

With his other hand, he gently pulled John towards him, hand settled snugly on his lover’s back. He let their foreheads fall together softly as his eyes searched John’s brilliant glowing blue irises that reflected the stars.

Virgil kissed his lover’s soft lips tenderly, savouring the moment, wishing it would never end.

John nuzzled him and rested his head on Virgil’s shoulder, embracing him lightly and running his hand down his back. Slowly they danced, swaying a little in the light.

The gentleness of the embrace and flowing movement of their bodies was almost too much for Virgil as he pulled his arms in, moving John closer to him, as if he were afraid to let go and have him drift away into space. He wasn’t sure how he’d be able to cope without his guiding light there with him, what it would take for them to stay close for the next three months.

He felt John shaking slightly against his body, under his touch he felt the muscles tense across his siblings back.

Neither of them wanted to be separated from what felt like their only reason to survive the next few weeks.

Virgil pulled his face away from John to look him straight in the eyes. He closed his eyes and leant in for a deep kiss, like it was their last, bringing John flush against him.

“I...I don't want you to go.” John whispered as the kiss ended.

Virgil choked back the lump on his throat as he opened his deep brown eyes to look at John, “I don’t want to go, I would like nothing more than to hurtle through space with you up here.”

He pulled John closer again, desperately trying to grasp control over his sadness.

“Virgil!” Came Scott’s voice from below where the two lover’s stood, “we’re waiting on you now!”

John sadly and slowly let his older brother go, standing still in the middle of the holographic quasar watching heavy hearted as Virgil climbed back down the ladder. After ten minutes, the rocket came into view as it left the dock and headed back towards earth.

He sat in the middle, crumpling in a heap. There was every chance Virgil will not come back, but he hoped that he would. Polaris will wait for Apollo, the light waiting to see the healer, to shine its brightest.

 


	20. A date with an ethereal

Stirred from sleep by a beeping from beside him, Virgil groaned, rolling over in frustration until he realised it was a holophone call from John. He scrambled to answer the call, sitting up and switching the bedside light on to illuminate his bare skin in the darkness of the night.

“John?” He mumbled, his voice deep and thick with sleep, “are you alright?”

“I'm alright Virgil.” Came his brother's voice, a little sad in tone. “Going from being lonely to having company and back again… it always hurts more than I realise.” there was a gentle expression on his face. “It'll pass. Just checking you’re ok.”

“I’m ok,” the brunette offered, smiling weakly, “I just miss you already, like crazy! Ugh I wish you were here.”

John brushed his fringe back shyly. “Maybe I can fix that. Press the little blue button on the projector, and place it on the desk. Make sure you have plenty of room Virgil otherwise this might not work.”

Virgil did as instructed, clambering out of bed and picking the projector up and carrying it around the partition in his room towards the desk. The dim bedside light was enough for him to see what he was doing as he stood to one side of the projector before pressing the blue button on the side.

The hologram flickered off and another unused camera on the device lit up and a full projection of John was now in the room, instead of just his head and shoulders. 

John was more or less in his bedroom without his clothes, standing there all nervous.

“I-I’m using the holodeck to send this, Virgil. Only problem is it only works one way. You can see me...but I can't see you.”

Virgil stood back and stared at the projection of his nervous brother, who was shuffling uncomfortably staring off into the distance somewhere in his room. He knew John couldn’t see anything, but he was shocked as just how much detail he could see of his space-bound brother, the marks upon his shoulder from their last encounter… 

“John… you look…” Virgil paused, swallowing thickly, “you look so unbelievably sexy standing here in my room… Wait… You can hear me though, right?”

“Yeah, I can hear you.” The hologram chuckled. “The reason I can't see you is all the camera's in here are sending you a three dimensional projection. If I change one to reverse it, the projection stops.” 

His hands seemed to dance as he tapped screens Virgil couldn't see, but could see the results of. Colours illuminated across the hologram, colourful galaxies playfully danced across John’s naked skin.

“Is it working?” He asked.

“Oh, John… Oh it’s working! How are you managing that?” Virgil wondered, in awe of the spectacle before him. Colours swirled across his pale skin; blues, purples and pinks. Darker parts of colour simply made his skin look as though it were a moving galaxy. “John you look incredible, it’s so beautiful!”

John smiled. At least Virgil was getting an amazing thing happening on his end. He was trying hard not to feel silly since standing in the empty holodeck without being able to see what Virgil could made him feel a little ridiculous, standing naked in front of a room full of cameras.

Little was he aware of one that was not part of the main ones in the room - transmitting and recording his naked body in the empty space back to Tracy Island to a small laptop in Scott’s bedroom.

If he knew, he wouldn't have gone ahead with what he did next.

Even though John couldn't see his lover or what the projection image looked like, he could still imagine him in the holodeck if he closed his eyes.

His hands started to wander his own body, gently stroking himself across the chest, sending shivers through his cold and ticklish skin. He tried so hard to pretend it was Virgil touching him, running his fingers down his sides, making love to him with his hands.

He was concentrating hard to keep that image in his head, he didn't want to open his eyes and be reminded that he was naked and alone, not yet.

Virgil stared at John’s projected form, reaching out towards it, almost willing it to be real. This was the ultimate tease, to watch his lover pleasure himself and have no way of reciprocating any of the affection himself. He pulled on his own excitement as he stood naked before John’s form, observing the eyes in front of him shut in pleasure and the younger man’s mouth parted open as he breathed heavily, shuddering at his own touch.

Shifting his hands slowly across his own lengths to match John’s movements, Virgil moaned softly, causing a smile to creep across John’s lips.

He could hear noises over the com unit in the room and that only encouraged John to tease more. When his hands moved lower he playfully let out whimpers as he started to very lightly run his fingers along his erect body, pressing into the tip with his thumb and with his other hand, cup under it and play with his other intimate area, rolling them in the palm.

“Uhhhh...Virgil….uhhhhh…” he purred. “Touch me, tease me….play with me…”

“Uhh! John! Fuck… this is so… Ah! ” Virgil’s breath caught as he watched John give his full attention to his own excitement, “shit John, this is unbelievable… uhhh… you are making me so hard for you.”

“Glad….you’re enjoying it.” John grinned through another loud purr. Playing by himself all alone didn't have the desired effect as he brought himself to climax, so quiet, uneventful….it forced him to open his eyes and take in the reality he was alone in the holodeck and he couldn't hide how disappointed he was in himself.

Hopefully, it was better on Virgil’s end. If he could see him, if he was disappointed in any way…

John wouldn't dare do this again. Not unless Virgil enjoyed it.  

Virgil stopped his own actions the moment John opened his eyes with sadness filling them. He walked slowly past the true-to-size hologram af his brother and pressed the blue switch once more, opening up the communication to smaller two-way holograms. He stared at his brother, worried and feeling guilty for enjoying the show that John had clearly felt uncomfortable doing.

“John,” he quietly breathed, his voice laced with concern, “are you okay?”

“Hmmm?” John was looking at his hands, failing to notice the normal holographic channel was now live. “It's just not the same when I can't see what's going on…” or the fact no matter how hard I pretend, I will always be here, alone in an empty white deck on the space station...he sighed heavily, leaving the last part unsaid.

“John that was amazing, but I can’t let you do it again if it’s not enjoyable for you!” Virgil exclaimed, regarding John’s deflated posture, “Hey… Look… I’m right here Johnny.”

Virgil smiled brightly at John, trying to cheer him up. He understood how difficult it was for his brother to be all alone up there.

John looked upwards at the hologram of his brother's head and shoulders. “It wouldn't be so bad if it was two way. But at the moment I feel a little silly.”

“Hey, it’s ok,” Virgil reassured, “I can assure you, you never looked silly,” he winked, “but you don’t have to an anything you don’t want to.”

“I know, but I wanted to. Didn't realise how hard it would be on this end.” John then headed out of the holodeck and into the living quarters, flicking the holo channel over onto the holo table so he could wash his hands in the sink properly and pull on some clothes that were draped over the large olive green sofa.

“We’ll figure something out,” Virgil smiled warmly, “hey, absence makes the heart grow fonder,” he added, trying to draw a smile from his brother. 

John didn't smile as he plonked down on the sofa, more than a little disheveled. “There maybe another way, but it means wiping all the data and holo storage in the system and starting from scratch.” That's when a smile crossed his face. “Or not. Hey, Virgil?”

Taking note of the sneaky smile that had spread across his younger siblings face, Virgil groaned softly, “What the hell kind of devious scheme are you plotting up there, John?”

“What are you on about? Look, just send me… a few full holographic scans of yourself, maybe get Brains to help. It will take me at least a week but I have an idea.” he stopped himself. “Actually, get Brains to make that holophone have a motion detector for your end… that will help as well.”

“Get Brains to help?” Virgil replied, shocked, “and what exactly am I going to say when he asks about it?”

“I dunno, say it's for your gallery opening. You have that next month by the way. I'm sorry I'll miss it, but I know you'll be great! Even if I can only get a virtual online tour of the gallery….You'll be fantastic!”

“You remembered? John that’s so kind of you, but I’m afraid I won’t get the pieces finished in time,” Virgil added nervously, “so I need to get Brains to add a motion detector? What are you going to do? Peek on me when I’m sleeping?” He laughed, “Oh man, I hope he doesn’t go into details, you know I’m a terrible liar when it comes to stuff like this.”

Virgil smiled at his excited brother who sat displayed before him. Surely three months isn’t that long, is it?

“If you want what we were doing tonight to work properly to be the closest way we can physically interact without really touching since we're miles apart, you will.”

“Ok, now I’m intrigued! I’ll ask him first thing in the morning, I don’t think he’d appreciate if I went and asked now, especially without clothes!” Virgil laughed.

“In the morning you doofus.” John chuckled. “I don’t think he’d want to be woken up at midnight.” He sighed. “It means minium contact through the week though till I set it all up, providing we don’t have any rescues within that time.”

Virgil’s expression sunk slightly, “that’s ok,” he said more to himself, “I’ve got to get my final few pieces ready to send to the gallery.”

“You’ll love it, trust me. And when it’s working properly, you’ll finally have my hologram on that end looking directly at you all the time, properly interacting. I promise.”

It took John a little more than over a week, he had to remove all the singers, dancers and actors from the files, all the songs and reload in all the astral projections….as well as his brother’s likeness. The easy part was coding it and getting the image to move and function when sensors from cameras activated it, the hard part was building the damn sensors to work the way he wanted.

Half way through the third week of their separation, John tried calling Virgil again. Hopefully, he’d had the device upgraded on his end.

It was late in the evening, Virgil was completing the last details on his final piece of artwork, when he heard his holophone beep from his desk where he had left it after Brains had made the upgrades that John had requested.

It had been busy on the rescue side of things, meaning John had required extra time to complete the work required on the system. They had barely spoken aside from basic communications during rescues.

Sliding himself over to the holophone, he answered it, unaware of the paint that was covering his face and chest. 

“John! Wow, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes! How are things going up there?” Virgil smiled, shades of blue, purple and gold spattered across his torso.

“Not as magnificent as you look.” John chuckled. You're all pretty colours.”

“Huh?” Virgil stared down at his chest, noticing the stabs of colour that were there, “Oh! Well it’s better than ruining another shirt, hey?” He stuck the paintbrush behind his ear and pulled up a chair at the desk.

John smiled. “Well we’re all set I think… want to give it another go? Might help if… you get undressed too. Will make it easy on the motion sensor.”

“You sure that’s the only reason?” Virgil smirked, reaching for his belt buckle and pulling the brown leather strap through the belt loops of his jeans with a satisfying snap, “What do I need to do this end? Same as before?”

“Yes.” John closed his eyes as he stripped down too in the holodeck to his birthday suit and when the hologram of Virgil switched over for him to be fully viewed on his brother’s end, the holodeck darkened, filled with a star projection and something else.

Opening his eyes, John could see Virgil’s hologram staring back at him, the same galaxy swirling patterns as there would be on his own hologram at the other end. He breathed out a silent ‘Wow’. 

He couldn’t believe that worked.

As Virgil moved around his hologram in the bedroom, the hologram in the deck on the station moved too, one big full circle. John hoped the tracking of the sensors in the deck were working and that his own hologram on the other end was visually following Virgil, watching him looking at him with fascination.

John beamed with the most proud expression, reaching out to Virgil’s hologram to have his fingers pass though and laughed when Virgil mirrored the action on his end and holographic fingers passed though his skin like ghosts. Sure this wasn’t perfect, it lacked the tactility of touch, but now they could both talk to each other properly and also….

Tease each other.

Virgil couldn’t believe his eyes, it was like John was standing there with him. This otherworldly being, covered in galaxies and stars, was here in his room. He was following him with his eyes and movements were as fluid as if it were the real John there. 

Virgil smirked again, “looking great down here, Polaris,” he gave John’s colourful hologram a cheeky wink before pacing around him, investigating further and checking his lover out.

John looked shyly away but the hologram on his end attempted to touch his face to look at it. John’s head followed, laughing at how odd it was to respond to something that couldn’t physically touch him but had done so without a second thought. His imagination was filling in those little gaps where real touch was missing, his body feeling as if it really was being gently handled.

“Is it better?” he asked, hesitating.

Virgil snorted, “John this is unbelievable, you’re a genius! Honestly it’s like you’re right here! Can you see me?”

John nodded. “I’ve had to wipe everything to be able to get it working but you're here too… covered in beautiful nebulas and pretty exploding suns.”

“Woah,” Virgil called, smiling, “this is fucking awesome John! Sorry you had to delete everything, though,” his tone shifted to one of sorrow.

John waved it off. “It’s ok really. It was mostly just stuff I don’t use much anymore, really it’s nothing. I’ve learnt every single dance move I can I think and well… only time I’ve ever done so in public was while drunk with you so… need a new hobby I think.”

“You just need a better place to display it! I saw you do a backflip… A BACKFLIP, John… you landed it like it was the easiest thing you’ve ever done, in fact,” Virgil paused, standing back somewhat, a wicked grin across his face, “you could always dance for me now.”

Thankfully the hologram was already colourful, Virgil couldn’t see the embarrassed shade of crimson John’s face went. “I uh… I - I did?”

“You did and I swear to you now it was so impressive, just BOOP!” Virgil re-enacted the standing start from where John had performed his backflip, “and you landed it. And you were shitfaced, hats off to you.”

“I’ve never been able to do that sober without twisting my arm.”

“You’re more impressive than you realise,” Virgil smiled, walking over to John’s stationary hologram looking into his eyes, “now, where were we?”

Virgil caught the flash of a smile across John’s face as they stood there together, taking in the sight of each other’s colourful hologram bodies. 

Holographic hands reached out in an effort to feel him lower down and automatically John’s hands slid down there too, entranced by how natural Virgil was with this, letting out little calls for his lover as his own hands replaced the ethereal ghostly ones of his brother in the physical sense. He dropped to his knees still playing roughly with his own body and with his own hologram of his brother had opened his mouth wide to envelop the ghostly erection, moving as it he was sucking and licking the real thing, having it as deep as it would go. Virgil’s large and wide impressive member for once unable to choke him and able to fit right into his mouth.

His hand moved faster, and with the other one he reached underneath since he was now on his knees and pushed his own long fingers inside of himself to give Virgil the extra moans and yelping noises to encourage him with his own play.

Watching his lover pleasure himself so confidently was bringing Virgil ever closer to his own peak. He brought himself to his knees, mirroring John, and watched with interest as the younger man caressed himself gently.

He continued to stroke himself hard with one hand as he reached to the hologram of his brother as if running it softly across his chest. He moaned loudly, losing himself completely hypnotised by his lover’s actions.

“John… uhhhh!”

“Virgil…..V-Virgil...ohhhh Virgil….”

Feeling each muscle tense as he reached his orgasm, Virgil collapsed forward onto his outstretched hand, calling John’s name once more. 

John stopped and reached out for Virgil’s prone hologram in a panic, feeling like he just killed the beautiful being in front of him.

“Virgil!” He shouted, his voice filled with worry and dread, his hands reaching for him only to pass through and touch the cold steel floor.

“Virgil!” He called again, “Answer me!”

He continued to paw at the stupid hologram as his sibling lay still, his breathing laboured.

Thank hells Virgil couldn't see the tears on the other end, the pretty galaxies layered over his hologram hid them as in reality they were making pattering sounds on the floor of the holodeck as they passed through the ghostly godlike figure.

“John?” Virgil whispered shifting his head so as to look at his terrified sibling, “I’m fine, everything’s ok…” He pushed himself up to lean on his elbows looking up, “Hey… John, shhhh… It’s ok see?” Virgil tried to make John look at his hologram, “I’m right here. Just a little tired, that’s all.”

The hologram of his sibling vanished. John had cut the call.

He thought that this would be better but it wasn't. It was so much harder when he couldn't physically touch him, even though Virgil was fine. John couldn't handle it… making Virgil as beautiful as he truly was and watching him collapse like that made him feel like a complete monster.

He didn't deserve such a magical person.

John didn't want Virgil to see him shake with tears with how scared he was, unable to separate reality from the ethereal experience, something John had never felt before. It wouldn't be right. Besides, he'll be ok in an hour or so to call back on the usual line…

Maybe.

Virgil had immediately tried to call his space-bound brother back, but the call had been severed after the first ring. Realising it best to give John time alone before trying again, Virgil grabbed a pair of boxer shorts to throw on before exiting his room and heading straight past Scott’s bedroom door to the main bathroom. 

Upon entering the dimly lit room, he sunk down against the door, yawning. He had been staying up late trying to get his artwork completed for the looming deadline, being busy with rescues only exacerbating his fatigue. He kicked himself mentally for worrying John. He couldn’t begin to appreciate how awful it must be for John trapped up there with no way of telling if he had been okay. Virgil efficiently washed himself clean and dried himself. He noticed the bags under his eyes, rubbing them briefly before leaving the bathroom to return to his own room.

There was a audio call waiting to be answered on his return.

Dashing to the phone, not thinking to check the identity of the caller, he answered hurriedly.

“John? Are you ok?”

“Yeah..I'm ok.” Came a very soft reply. “Just a little surreal for me. I-is that what it's like to see the world -a person- through your artist's eyes?”

Virgil paused.

“I guess so,” he thought for a moment, “John, there is a piece of paper hidden in the books next to your bed, well there’s a few… the one I want you to look at is the one in your first print of your most recent book… could you grab it for me please? I want you to see what I see.”

“Give me a minute, I'll have to go to my cabin. I'm in the bathroom at the moment, it's not easy to move around in here.”

Virgil waited in silence until the audio picked up again. “Ok I'm in the cabin….which books? I have alot in here.”

“The first edition book on constellations that Alan got you for your birthday,” Virgil requested softly, let me know when you have it open.”

“Oh… uh….Virgil? I-is this supposed to be…” John's voice trailed off. He had gone all shy again. “It's….it's awesome.”

John wasn't greatly knowledgeable about art or drawing of the human figure but now looking at the details he was a little overwhelmed if THIS was how Virgil saw him.

A very sexy version of himself was staring back at him and strangely, he began to feel a little uncomfortable and self conscious over it.

It was silly but he couldn't help it. Even lifting up his jumper to make comparison in the mirror where he hung his uniform, he found himself struggling to see what his brother found in him physically attractive. It was a very accurate drawing, it picked out his visible ribs, the sinew looking arms...John even found himself touching his cheekbones which he never realised were so high up and pronounced.

“W-why Virgil? I'm not that interesting a subject.” He said when he returned to sit with his little audio phone, picture in hand. “Yet the drawing….its so...like ...are you sure that's really what I come across as to you?” He said nervously, fidgeting with the corner of the paper. “I've never… never been seen this interesting before...I'm sorry Virgil I don't know what to say….but, t-thank you.” He stammered, shaking a little. He felt strange, it was nothing like he ever felt before. He never really knew what respect felt like other than to give it to others and seeing this picture that put alot of respect onto him as a person was a great deal to take in. Sure people said things to him, even Virgil as of late...but they were just words - at least till now they were.

And John was unsure how to deal with it.

“It’s ok if you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep it,” Virgil offered, hearing John’s tone falter somewhat, “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable, if I have… I just wanted you to try and understand things from where I stand.”

Virgil adjusted his position upon his bed to recline slowly against the padded headboard, unable to shake the thought of John’s ethereal hologram before him on the bedroom floor.

“And of course that’s how you look to me,” Virgil smiled, the happiness creeping into his voice, “you’re Polaris, John.”

“I love it...just not used to it being well, me!” John admitted. “Used to seeing the odd glimpse you'd have painted of Alan, Scott, Gordon, Tintin, Kyrano, Brains...Dad, Grandma’s ranch….and Mum...but n-never me.” John hovered his fingers inches from the pencil line work and traced it. “Thank you.”

Virgil snickered, “most of the ones of you or inspired by you are hanging ready for display in the gallery.” He smiled, “I’m sorry for earlier, guess I was more tired than I realised.”

“Y-you what?”

The older sibling looked awkwardly at his feet, “don’t worry, they’re not at all like the one you have there, some are deliberately altered to show another subject, but most of my work is inspired by you. The colours on my most recent art are inspired by the Tracy Quazar system you were kind enough to show me,”

“Oh…” John's voice sounded a little sad. “I would have liked to see that. Maybe you could get Gordon to do some filming for me? I'd...I'd hate to miss out on your moment in the spotlight.”

“Of course I will, though I worry his voiceover would be… uhh… interesting,” Virgil tried not to be upset that John would not be able to be there with him, “I was thinking of doing a tour alone before it opens, that way I can do final checks..”

Virgil sighed nervously, glancing up at the unfinished final painting before him. Colours of the Quazar danced over the page as John’s skin had done in the dome on Thunderbird Five before they parted. It was a grand piece, one that Virgil felt protective towards, wanting to keep it to himself rather than to share it so openly at the gallery.

John seemed to be thinking, “Hey… won't dad get suspicious if there's pictures of me on display? You know he loves going to your shows, he has an eye for art remember?”

“I can’t imagine he’ll be paying too much attention to the ones of you in particular, there’s a few of him and Scott he’s excited to see, Gordon has a few also,” he added, “besides, the ones of you are to be set up in a much quieter section of the gallery, they’ll be separated into a dark room with bright lights on each one. Dad will be too busy puffing his chest with Scott to venture much further in.”

“Probably Alan too. So I guess only you, Tintin and Gordon would venture in there. Also I wouldn't worry about his commentary, he only hangs rubbish on Alan’s car racing because he's an arrogant little shit for days after a win or a mopey little brat if he loses.” John’s voice now had a lighter tone to it, “Last gallery thing you did he record for me he was quite nice about it, I think he wished mum could have seen it as he was amazed by you...we all are.”

John then laughed. “He always tells me I'm missing the atmosphere and the pictures how they should be seen and I'm sure of that...but you know me and groups of strangers...I only cope with those stupid events because I have to...you guys don't see me freaking out scratching the crap out of my skin afterwards.”

Virgil frowned, he knew of his brother’s aversion to crowds, but not the extent of the stress it caused him, “John…” he whispered, realising he had no words, only a guilty feeling that settled in his stomach. The helpless situation of his sibling being trapped so far away, without company or reassurance, was debilitating at times. He wanted nothing more that to go and collect his brother, heck, he’d swap places of it meant John could spend more time with Gordon. 

There was nothing he could do to help John. That felt rotten.

“Heh it's ok Virgil, we all have things that scare us.” His voice sounded a little more caring than usual. “We all have nightmares. Mine’s nothing compared to yours, I wish I could make those bad rescues go away.”

“They’re not as bad as they used to be,” Virgil offered calmly, “I’m used to them more now, they don’t have half the power they used to.” 

Truthfully, his nightmares caused by rescues had decreased in frequency. However the ones that involved his brother’s safety were often vivid. He blamed his artistic mind for that, the realism of the features contorted in pain or fear were always difficult. He shook himself back from his thoughts.

“I miss you, John.” He whispered, “I just want to be able to hold you again.”

On his end of the call, sitting on the bed in the cabin, John hung his head now unable to look at the drawing as if the picture caused his brother pain. It was stupid, but he couldn't shake it.

Then he perked up. “When's the opening again? I might be able to program the holodeck to simulate the gallery in there… that's if you take the device with you...maybe a private viewing?”

Virgil blinked at the holophone, astounded, “you could do that? It’s a week on Friday. I could always take you in beforehand? When I take this final piece in.”

“I can try. Though the hologram in your end I can't change.” John then realised something, “I'll be dressed don't worry.”

Virgil laughed warmly, “that’s a shame,” he sniggered, “though probably for the best!”

He sat there wondering about how the gallery opening would go, he felt a nervous excitement bristle through his nerves as he thought about showing John his artwork. Yawning loudly, Virgil shuffled around on the bed to pull the covers up over him. It would be nice to be comfortable whilst chatting with John listening to his soothing voice. It was a certain poetic quality to John’s soft voice that made him perfect to deal with incoming communications. Virgil could listen to it all day, it was impossible not to feel a great passion for anything that John was enthusiastic about. He let his eyes fall shut as he waited for the voice to return.

“I promise it will be perfect Virgil.” John said lovingly. “It will be fantastic.”

 


	21. Damaged heart

Virgil was stood alone inside the dimly lit gallery entrance, nervously fidgeting with his slim-fitted black waistcoat and making adjustment to his narrow black and white striped tie. He’d eventually sought assistance from Tintin to tie the damned thing in the end, shaking so much with anxiousness that he had been unable to deal with the simple task himself.

Pulling the cuffs of the crisp white shirt and pushing a few unruly strands of hair meticulously into place, Virgil retrieved the holophone. Finally ready to virtually accompany his brother on a tour before the official opening which was due to take place around two hours from then.

Calling on the device, he folded his spare arm politely across his chest, waiting for his space inhabiting brother to answer.

John’s image flickered into life in front of him. Virgil’s felt his heartbeat grow steadily faster as he exhaled in wonder.

Before him stood his younger sibling, for once dressed up in a nice expensive looking long sleeved top and dress pants and not in his uniform or his birthday suit. From John’s end, the entire holodeck had lit up with a pretty good view of the room, even if it has a limited window. He was working with the only camera the small device Virgil had to have separated from it to allow the visual to move so he had to be very specific at what he was looking at. It made it hard, as he couldn’t use Virgil himself to guide him around even in holographic form… he could only have one or the other.

“Good evening John,” he purred happily, “you look fantastic… You got all dressed up just for this?”

“Evening, Virgil. You.... You look grand.” the hologram nodded, though due to the camera set up only could make eye contact with Virgil if he was holding the camera at face height. The rest of the device that was creating the projection was sitting on a small table in the middle of the room allowing the hologram the ability to move around the space, which was important as Virgil needed the camera component to be tour guide “Shall we?”

Virgil bowed slightly as he picked up the small holoprojector and took his brother to the first room of artwork, landscapes. The room was the largest and most open of the displaying areas, around sixty pieces of art hung upon the walls around them. The numerous artworks, he explained, were available to be reserved later that evening for visitors to purchase, only after they had a few months of being displayed. 

To John’s credit, he patiently stood and listened through Virgil’s explanations on certain locations, why he’d selected them and the significance of the time of day depicted. He questioned Virgil on a few techniques he had used. 

“Most of these landscapes are oil based,” Virgil responded, a little lost in thought. He had been observing John’s hologram for the best part of the last ten minutes, “There are a few charcoal pieces and most of the portraits I’ve done have been using watercolours… shall we move on?”

Virgil directed his camera device through the gallery, pausing at particularly important pieces that Virgil felt a special connection to. After a few interesting otherworldly landscapes, carrying the holoprojector as he passed through an archway, Virgil the the device down in the centre of a smaller, more personal room, full of portraits. 

Incredible life-like paintings and sketches of various staff from the emergency services covered the walls. Virgil had completed these towards the end of the previous year. Having spent his leave helping fire services in various countries, painting those that he held as particularly interesting or inspiring individuals.

John looked on them in awe, feeling alot of respect for the people and his brother in the pictures. He also felt a mild pang of guilt knowing that International Rescue was a secret organisation and that they’d never be included in that line up - which was just as well, John knew even if they could be he wouldn’t have had a portrait there anyway.

“Hey Virgil, where’s the people who work in the call centers for these services? You haven’t shown me any.” he frowned a little. It was all well and good to have the people who went into battle to save lives all honoured but where was the people who had to take those calls? The people who got abused and yelled at by people in panic or people who were scared - people who only want to know was much information as they can so they can get you the help you really need.

Feeling guilty, Virgil thought for a moment, “I never actually got to meet any of the dispatchers or call takers,” he muttered quietly, seeing a look of sadness across John’s face.

“That’s ok.” John’s hologram gave him a smile, hiding how he felt a little better. For John that WAS the key part of any rescue outfit - without them you wouldn’t get the help you need. Leaving them out left them as unsung heroes and that never sat right with him, as they never got the credit they deserved. Hell’s people who sat on call at christmas on suicide prevention lines were heroes as far as he was concerned and hated how people never respected those untrained volunteers for giving up their time to try and cheer up and save the lives of people who we mentally in a bad place.

It was a reminder of how much John saw of the other side of these operations than everyone else. 

“So,” he said, changing the subject to deflect his disappointment and dip in respect for his brother’s values. “Where next?”

The next room was through a small door hidden away behind some curtains. Virgil nudged the base of the holoprojector until it could reach the small room.  

Virgil had painted several portraits of each of his brothers, each one painted with their personal accomplishments in mind. There were no paintings of his father, or any of the family friends for that matter. The theme, for Virgil at least, was places and people that inspired him to be better. He felt that, for once, this was not an appropriate place to display artwork of his father. 

Scott’s main portrait was of him wearing his USAF uniform, medals gleaming proudly on his chest. His facial expression was one of relaxed confidence. John felt a little intimidated by his older brother’s portrayal, how imposing he was and how arrogant he stared out from the picture. I wasn’t intentional, but John couldn’t help but feel less of a man in comparison. All those events their father talked Scott up were there - from the pride, to the service to his country of birth….

Gordon’s portrait was much more colourful, he was stood atop a podium, the gold medal painted on his chest with careful attention to detail. His expression was of joy and laughter.

John’s hologram studied it for a minute or two, realisation that his twin was seen as simple as he was through someone else’s eyes. “Hey, Virgil…. How come you didn’t paint him in his science or his WASP gear? Surely those are more comendable than a one off medal? Or… were you just trying to paint him in a way people would recognise?” as that would be true, anyone viewing it would see him and know who he was, but then they’d never see the other things he had accomplished.

“Recognition,” Virgil responded quietly, “these pieces aren't for sale, nor will they be publicly displayed after tonight. I’ve got so many portraits of you all at home, I’ve not done one with Gordon and his medal before, thought I would give it a go.” 

“Ah.” John nodded. He knew what would happen the second Gordon saw it…. He would be proud as punch with how awesome Virgil painted but confused as to why he was made out to be less of an achiever than Scott and Alan. he went through alot of rubbish to get to be an aquanaut and a marine biologist, especially with their father. To not have that recognised…

John looked up at the next one that Virgil pointed the camera at. Alan’s portrait was the top half of his body sticking out of his beloved race car, a trophy clutched in his hand and a look of pride in his eyes.

He smiled. Alan probably would be happy with that, or at least a painting of him holding a big whopping trophy with beautiful woman in tow. Perfect depiction of the spoilt brat.

John’s portrait was relaxed and colourful, complete with academic certificates. Most obviously was the ball of stars and galaxies, so rich in colour, that was suspended above his left hand, capturing the subject’s attention. The expression that Virgil had depicted was a warm, daydreaming smile. 

John stared at it a while, unaware that Virgil was asking for an opinion. “Huh?” he turned in the direction of the voice since he couldn’t see Virgil from where the camera was pointed.

“I said I was wondering what you thought about it,” Virgil repeated in a nervous tone, he was used to receiving criticism from art experts, but he really cared about what John thought, bracing himself, he waited patiently for a response.

“It’s…. It’s magnificent… very colourful…” John’s voice wavered. He didn’t know how to critique art. This was way out of his depth. He didn’t want to hurt Virgil’s feelings as it was indeed very beautiful but John thought about the other pictures and in his head knew this was what Gordon should have had painted - not him. John was so far down the achievement food chain in the family that personally he felt he shouldn’t even be in a painting hanging in a gallery.

All those feelings he was harbouring about the way their father talked him up and how false he realised they were staring him in the face. Did Virgil really see them all the same way their father did?

His heart was pounding and he couldn’t look at it anymore. “Is there anymore?” he asked carefully, trying not to sound hurt or damage his brother’s feelings.

Virgil quietly cleared his throat, instantly recognising John’s forced tone, “you don’t have to look at any more of you don’t want to, John.” He slouched to pick the holoprojector up to take it to the final room. 

“Virgil it’s not-” he sighed as the projector feed cut and fizzled as it was hurried away from the painting as it was being carried away at speed. John still liked the picture, but he was sure Virgil had once said that ‘art is the gateway to one’s soul, and portraits allow you to see it frozen in time’ and the painting he knew wasn’t him. It was what everyone wanted him to be. How could he explain that to Virgil?

He couldn’t. Not without really hurting his older brother’s feeling further than he had.

The dark room was larger than the one they were currently in. Spotlights that settled on a handful of brightly coloured pieces. 

There were different naked forms, both male and female depicted in each of the pieces. All of the figures were tastefully drawn and filled with the vivid colours that had been covered the dome on Thunderbird Five the last night they had been together before Virgil had returned home.

There was a covered easel in the corner, Virgil placed the holoprojector and camera on a small table at the centre of the room before pulling the black cover off the easel to reveal his masterpiece, standing beside it like he was bearing his soul to John.

John took a step back in the holodeck at what he saw. There wouldn’t be any words to describe how amazing the picture was, the colours all mixing playfully and whimsical like the bursting gasses of a new sun.

He didn’t realise his jaw was hanging open.

“I couldn’t draw your Quazar system on the portrait without people asking me questions about your discovery,” Virgil began, “it’s not my place to tell everybody about your incredible achievement… So I did this.”

He made sure the camera could pick up the majority of the pictures in the room before moving around.

“All of these pictures have been painted with the colours of Tracy Quazar,” Virgil explained, unable to look at John’s hologram choosing instead to look at the picture that rested on the easel, “you are my inspiration, that’s why I drew you. I had to paint the other pictures for those who would be coming tonight. These? These are mine… so I could do with them whatever I wanted.”

“B-but why? Why are these hanging up? If they’re private…. They’re supposed to be private right?” John’s voice caught in his throat. Virgil should be allowed to showcase whatever he wanted, but a part of John, regardless of how beautiful all these works were, felt a little violated. Those nights, those ethereal experiences which he managed to screw up on his own end meant something extremely personal and to have it out there hanging on the walls for everyone to see was more than just a shock.

It was like a part of him had been dissected and pulled open for everyone to criticise.

“This is yours,” Virgil mumbled quietly gesturing to the room, “I put these up myself, just for you… Just for us, here and now. The moment you leave, they’ll be gone. Packed away. No one but you and I have seen these, or ever will.”

“Virgil…” John swallowed. He didn’t know where to look. The private moments clearly meant something to his brother, enough for him to be inspired to paint. He didn’t want to take that away from him.

“They’re wonderful...sorry I… I’m sorry that I can’t accept them. They belong to you and only you. You see such beauty where there isn’t any to be seen, you find magic in people that they don’t even know is there….but this… this is your soul. It deserves to be seen, more than the other pictures. Don’t deny anyone that.”

John tried to smile, but only just managed to put on a braver face. “It doesn’t matter what I think or feel about them Virgil, this is you, your creative soul, your passion your fire. No one, not even me has the right to tell you a damn thing about it.”

Virgil still found himself unable to look up from the floor between himself and John’s hologram. 

“This is my passion, yes… But I chose to show these only to you. I don’t owe these to anyone and I certainly don’t need to show them off to people who don’t matter. You matter! These are private!” He didn’t mean to snap the last words but these pieces were a part of him that he wanted no one else to see.

Lifting each piece from the wall, Virgil returned them into the locked briefcase he had used to transport them to the gallery in. He sighed, looking at the piece on the easel once more before moving to cover it over.

John’s hologram looked ashamed of what he had done and vanished without saying goodbye. In reality he walked out of the holodeck and stormed into the Hydroponics bay and the flowers he’d been growing to show his older brother on his next visit all got beheaded with scissors in a frenzied vicious attack on them, leaving them in shreds. Breathing heavily he sat down on a stool with the scissors in hand and just stared at the carnage because right now, that’s how he felt. His heart was now Virgil’s and he could do whatever he wanted with it and there was nothing John could do. He just wanted to make Virgil happy but he knew nothing about art, its process, all that metaphysical stuff about it being part of a person’s spirit and their soul on canvas.

John just wanted to share something beautiful and alive with Virgil, not see it pinned down like a butterfly in a collection, exposed and forced to be on display. He also didn’t want Virgil to not be able to enjoy it, love it and show how much it meant to him. That wouldn’t be fair either.

He was drifting alone in space again, this time he had no anchor to the world, no life line to grab hold of. Virgil was probably not going to talk to him until the exhibition was over in several weeks, drunk off praise which he fully deserved, John could understand that but it will be different this time, he wouldn’t be allowed access to that part of his brother’s life ever again.

Virgil returned the artwork and holoprojector into the storage crate he had used to bring them over from the island. He bolted shut the crate and retreated from the room locking the door behind him. 

Taking a moment to compose himself, Virgil set off to meet up with the rest of his brothers. Soon would begin another night of conversations he didn’t want to be a part of with people he cared very little for.

 


	22. Passion rekindled

“Got everything loaded up for the restock yet, Virge?” Scott smiled, watching as Virgil was focussed on a long checklist of items required for Thunderbird Five.

“Just got a few bits to go,” the second eldest replied flatly, not looking up from the clipboard.

Gordon came in and rubbed his knees, wiping his grease hands on his pants. “One of those boxes is leaking Virgil, make sure you’re careful carrying them onboard yeah?” he waited until Scott had turned away to grab a few more things Virgil sent him off for with the list in hand. “Here,” he slipped something from his pocket into his older brother’s hand. “You may want these.”

Virgil looked down at the box and went red. “Gordon -”

“Shh! Not so loud. You're going to do it anyway so fucking do the right thing, ok? Besides, it’s a variety pack. There’s flavoured ones,ultra thin ones, studded and french ticklers…” he winked. “Just don’t forget the lube.”

“Gordon!” He hissed through gritted teeth, he could feel the embarrassment radiating off his skin, “stop it!”

“Listen,” Gordon said, his voice a low growl. “I know you haven't been playing it safe, and quite frankly I’m surprised at you as I’d like to think the last person to give my twin HIV would be YOU.” he gave Virgil a playful but hard enough to be a warning punch in the arm. “Don’t ruin both your lives ok?”

Virgil stood back, his mouth open in shock. He stuffed the box into his pocket and looked awkwardly at Gordon, “thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Hey um… I wanted to talk to you about something actually..”

“Yeah? What’s that?” Virgil questioned, shuffling back from Gordon slightly.

“Have you spoken to John at all since he left for Thunderbird Five? I know I’ve called a few times but… I’ve never seen you do so.” Gordon asked, his tone full of concern.

Virgil looked at his younger brother, confused, “I’ve spoken to him almost every day,” he replied, casting his mind back, “there was a couple of days after my Art Exhibition where I didn’t get through to him, but other than that… Do you really think I wouldn’t speak to him?”

“Yeah,” he replied, his voice dead pan and his expression like stone. “I would.” He coughed. “I spoke to him last night and something looked like it was really bothering him. When I mentioned you he tried to change the subject. He seems to feel guilty about something, that much I can tell. Care to fill me in?”

Eyes narrowing as at Gordon’s words, Virgil calmed himself, “I spoke to him yesterday morning, everything seemed fine.”

He looked at Gordon and stopped him before he could say anything else, “look, I appreciate your looking out for John here. I do… The only thing I can think of would be some artwork of mine that I showed him.”

“Don’t lie to me.” Gordon growled. “I’m not stupid.”

Virgil put the clipboard down and stood up tall, “I’m not lying to you, that is the genuine truth,” he spoke calmly.

“Mind if I ask about the art?”

“I’d rather you didn’t but it would appear as though you already have. Shoot...”

“Is it to do with the portrait with all the achievements? Because you were not in the room when dad went in there….” Gordon shook himself, trying not to think about it too much before regaining his very threatening composure which despite his size was quite impressive despite his calm demure. “You know John’s really shy about that sort of thing. He would have been pretty uncomfortable, especially when he thinks that’s all dad sees of us and not ‘US’ as people. Like we’re additional notches to his greatness and accolades.”

“I expect it was because of that,” Virgil admitted, “though when I showed him art that was a little more personal, he wasn’t so keen on that either.” He paused to think back to the evening. The way John had reacted to his artwork. His own guilt at making John feel uncomfortable. 

“I deliberately wanted to avoid dad being anywhere near that room, it’s not for him, they were the parts of you all I am missing from my portrait collections,” Virgil sighed, “I tried to explain that to him but he was upset with me already, though I don’t blame him… I hadn’t included any call dispatchers in with the rescue workers. He must have thought I don’t think of them as important, it’s just that I never got to meet any of them.”

Gordon frowned. “You mean there was more? Like the proper Virgil Tracy art we usually see in a gallery than those pieces of poser art?” Gordon couldn’t hide his opinion any longer. “The ones from your heart and not from your forced obedience to create something family friendly? That’s not like you to hide your true self Virgil, even I could tell something was off with that exhibition.”

He scuffed his feet a little, seeming deep in thought. “Look I’m not going to ask you too much about the personal works, as sometimes even I find them a little.. Intrusive? Especially from previous shows you’ve done, but usually it’s the only way we ever see what’s on the inside, what you really feel, and regardless how awkward it makes us towards it we know that it’s beautiful and the only way we get to see how you’re feeling.” he took a deep breath. “Did they involve John this time? Like a little more deeper than you usually get? Like the ones you did of me in your last personal collection which had me a little scared something dark really lurked under my skin? Or like the ones you did of Scott before that where you showed alot of the raw fury that was inside of him when you really meant to be showing the bravery he had?”

“I can’t help that Scott has anger issues,” he smiled looking at Gordon, who did not return the smile, “yeah… ok… so they might have been that kind of picture. I can’t really tell, I felt good about them though, I think he thought I was going to show the world. I wouldn’t do that, they’re just as personal for me as they are for him.”

“Yes I understand that… but you have, shall we say a knack for exposing parts of us that’s maybe best not out in public?” Gordon hinted, hoping to get the message across. “Not everything needs to end up on canvas.”

“Oh…”

 Thinking for a moment, Virgil sighed, “so what do I do with those feeling instead? He doesn’t want to hear them, I can’t show him… I just want to make him happy.”

“I know. Not everyone likes to have their weaknesses and vulnerabilities known… erh.. I know I haven't seen them but,” He tried to recall how John was when he last spoke. “I get the feeling you exposed a weakness that he knew was there and hoped you didn’t show, if that’s all it’s about. I don’t know, hard to tell with John, though I find it hard you’d find a way to paint him as a monster or someone with demons in his soul.”

“I'm sorry Virgil, I don't think I can help with this one. John can sometimes be a mystery to me too, even though we're twins. One thing's for sure, he wouldn't have meant to hurt you.”

The older sibling seemed to reflect inwards, “I never meant to hurt him either,” Virgil admitted, leaning back against one of the remaining crates to be loaded up, “It’s ok, I get that things aren’t straightforward,” looking up at his younger brother, Virgil smiled, “thank you, Gordon.”

The short redhead smiled. “Boy, you two are a right pair you know? It's like watching a juggler tossing chainsaws.” He slapped Virgil on the shoulder. “Just don't keep dropping the fucking things.”

Virgil returned the smile and continued to load crates of supplies into the cargo hold of Thunderbird Three. It wasn’t a great deal of time after that he was ready to leave and begin the short journey to the space station.

Virgil stood with a mixture of excitement and nerves as he watched the cargo door slide shut before readying himself into his gear.

It had been a while since he had been in control of Thunderbird Three, usually happier to let Alan or Scott to pilot the powerful machine. It wasn’t anything like his own ‘bird. One which he knew like the back of his hand, knew the small mechanical imperfections that made her a pleasure to fly.

John had sprawled his arms out across the communications panel, headset on, listening to words, voices, different languages...sounds filtering through the spongy foam.

He was suppose to be taking notes. Even if nothing of interest was happening, he was still supposed to log in data. Some of it he wondered ‘what's the point? No one reads them anyway.’

He didn't notice the ship docking light blinking, instead putting the head set down, swiveling on the chair and heading to the infirmary. He spent a great deal of time in there lately and not because he was sick.

It was the only place he could go without seeing his own reflection.

Every day since the gallery fiasco, John couldn't look at himself. The drawing Virgil gave him he refolded and hid it under the pillow in the cabin along with the little love notes he found. Occasionally Virgil would call, but like with everyone else, the conversation was kept general and everytime he had to hang up he threw whatever he had in his hand, from the small holophone, to a small radio, the toaster and currently floating in space outside of the station - the blasted microwave he dropped on his toes and kicked the crap out of.

He wasn't upset with Virgil, it was more himself he hated. That and the microwave had it coming, he got a lovely electrical burn from it that morning and it was either him or it.

He slowly unwrapped his arm, the burn all up the length of his left forearm to the elbow was blistered and peeling and there was nothing that seemed to be helping it heal, occasionally something would burst and liquid would dribble out irritating it further. Thankfully nothing was bleeding - yet.

He couldn't write or do half his duties and chores with his right hand, and you could only potter around the hydroponics bay with plants for so long...the removal of all the dance programs in the holodeck meant he had very little in the way of staying entertained physically and just wasting time watching endless foreign movies lost its appeal after a full night of horror films that left him checking under every bed in the station with a torch for the better half of two weeks.

He sat alone, carefully tending to his burn, running it under water again just to keep it clean. No alcohol extended to medicinal sterilizing alcohol -as if he'd be insane enough to even consider drinking that when there were more creative tools onboard to kill himself with that had minimum effort and instant death - so the only way to prevent infection was with soap and water… and that stung like a hundreds if not thousands of bee stings.

He didn't hear the door on the other slide of the medical bay slide open over the running water.

Virgil stared at John in shock at the sight of his badly burnt arm under the running water. He realised John had not noticed his presence, or that he didn't particularly care. His sibling’s arm was red raw and covered with angry blistered skin. Virgil felt a stab of worry, moving forward to make sure his sibling was alright.

“What have you done to your arm?” He asked quietly, so as not to startle him more than necessary. 

John still jerked in surprise, though he didn't pull his arm out from under the tap. Dark circles were visible under his eyes - more than the usual ones that were from him being so fair skinned, his stance was less defiant since the last time Virgil saw him in person and overall he looked run down and drained.

“Hi Virgil...ummm..” He looked a little confused. “What are you doing here? I thought the supply run was next week? Unless I got the dates mixed up, which I wouldn't be surprised by.”

“No,” Virgil hesitated, realising John was far worse than he’d feared, “I can get it loaded across alone, please don’t worry about helping. Will you let me take a look at that arm for you? There is a first aid kit in Thunderbird Three I could use.”

“Sure, go ahead. I'll tend to my arm while you unload.” John turned off the tap and caught his brother's worried expression “Just let it drip dry otherwise it stings. There's plenty of stuff in here for it Virgil, it's ok. I'll put some burn salvo on and a few patches and then wrap it. It'll be fine.” He smiled timidly. “Not the first time I've been burnt, Virge. I've had worse. It will heal, scar up and you won't notice.” 

He laughed, “When your this pale, scars tend to just fade and look invisible.”

“Probably for the best considering how clumsy you can be,” Virgil offered, attempting to bring a believable smile to his own face, “I’ll let you deal with your arm, see you in a while.” 

The older sibling looked on at John apprehensively before turning around to exit the room. He had not felt this uneasy around his brother for some time.

John took his time making sure the wounds were properly tended to and eventually slipped into the docking bay to see if he could unload anything smaller for Virgil to make it easier. He just wanted to be useful, as right now with one good arm, he wasn't able to do very much as it was and the very idea of not helping gnawed at his soul.

Besides, if he assisted, Virgil might talk to him more. John was afraid his brother might want to leave straight away just based off all his holocalls of late. John knew he was being punished for upsetting his brother, but for once he didn't think he should have to apologize...after all John felt very hurt too, opening his heart to him so freely only to see it exposed to the world.

Virgil was carrying one of the heavier crates through the airlock when he caught sight of John walking towards him, his arm now covered in fresh dressings. Placing the crate down carefully in front of him, he stood up straight as John came to a halt a little way in front of him.

“John… I owe you one hell of an apology…” he started trying to sound as confident as possible, “I spoke to Gordon, hell, he’s so worried about you, as am I… I can only apologise for letting my ego get the better of me at the gallery, not being considerate of your feelings. I don’t expect to be forgiven for plastering your soul across a canvas, it was thoughtless of me to do so and I didn’t realise how that would affect you. I’m so sorry John, I’ve been a fool, I don’t want to have our first physical reunion in three months to be overshadowed by my actions.”

“Please sit down and let me finish unloading everything, I promise it won’t take me long, we can have a proper catch up,” he brought his gaze up to meet John’s brilliant blue eyes, sucking in a breath as he observed his sibling. He could tell John was saddened by his actions and Virgil truly despised himself for causing so much pain to his sibling’s fragile heart.

John hung his head. “No...I shouldn't have been over sensitive...it..it was just they were so beautiful and after everything...it was too much for me and I'm sorry. Please let me help.”

Virgil walked up to his sibling and placed a hand gently on his chin, lifting his head, “you have nothing to apologise for,” he kissed John tenderly, “I don’t want you lifting anything, but you’re more than welcome to check things off as I bring them in,”

The dark-haired man smiled as he returned to pick up the crate he had been carrying, gesturing to the clipboard on top.

John let out a sigh. At least it was...something. Better than just standing around at any rate.

After the last of the supplies were loaded up, John was quick to grab his sibling with his good arm. “Want to stay for a coffee? You don't have to go straight away, right?”

“Of course I’d love to stay,” Virgil smiled, turning back to face John, “I don’t really want to go at all.”

Walking down towards the holodeck on the second floor instead of the living area, he paused to wait for younger sibling, a seductive smile spreading across his face.

“So this is where we were for our holo calls?” he asked, as he opened the hatchway.

John blushed. “Well...I was...but there's little to look at in there…”

“Well…” Virgil smirked, “you’d be in there…”

“Well, yeah but it's mostly an empty room with just a whole bunch of cameras in the walls.” John admitted.

Virgil’s expression softened slightly, “don’t worry about it, forget I mentioned it.”

He suddenly felt guilty for suggesting the idea to John after seeing him so low. Perhaps a drink and a chat would be better for him.

“You… I mean...I could show you still...if you want.”

“I'd love you to, after you,” Virgil offered as John stepped through the hatch into the empty room.

The older man followed him in, closing the door behind them. He watched John carefully as he looked around the room.

John slapped his sides and adjusted his uniforms lilac sash. “So.. What do you want to see? If you give me a few minutes I could get a full projection up of the view from the eiffel tower, uh...maybe Times Square?”

“You can do that?” Virgil asked, shocked, “take me anywhere you want to go!”

He watched as John swiftly made his way over to the console, speedily tapping keys with his fingertips a blurr. It was taking every ounce of self control not to launch himself at the man stood before him.

His sibling paused. “I uh… don't have much programmed in after…. You know. I could maybe use the space one again but that might be boring now…”

Virgil’s face lit up with excitement, “not at all, that would be great if you could.”

Ok...John moved a few holographic screens around the console and within seconds the white room went dark and the walls, ceiling and floor looked like the dome on top of the space station - minus the telescope, delicate instruments and the planet earth hovering in the distance. Interestingly, any area of visible skin came up in a flurry of beautiful rainbow colours and was pitch black against clothing.

“This is ok?” John's voice wavered. He hadn’t loaded this program up since that ‘ethereal’ night, afraid that he had damaged Virgil’s beautiful soul by doing so. He was nervous and couldn't look at his brother in the eyes.

Virgil stood and marvelled at the glorious colours that danced across his hands, twisting them around in front of his eyes. Looking across to his sibling, he saw his face had fallen. He approached swiftly and stood beside his brother, whose face was glowing with iridescent colours. 

“What is it?” he queried his quiet brother, softly lacing his hands with John’s, “what’s wrong?”

“I...I broke you last time.”

Feeling his heart wrench with sorrow, Virgil wrapped his arms tightly around John, enveloping him into a warm embrace. He ran his hand lightly along his siblings back to reassure him. 

“You did no such thing,” he whispered, fearing if he spoke louder it would disturb the quiet moment. He breathed in deeply, John’s warm scent filling his head, “I’ve missed this… to be physically able to hold you.”

Arms wrapped around him in return and they were shaking, though one arm was looser around him than the other do to injury. John's head rested on his shoulder and just held his brother, not wanting to let go.

Virgil reached a hand to caress the back of his sibling’s neck, occasionally running his fingers through John’s thick hair. He held John tightly with his other arm, careful not to knock the dressings that covered his burnt arm. He wished that they could stay like this forever, moulded together and free from worry. Virgil nuzzled his face into John’s neck, hot breath sending shivers through the younger man’s body.

John's breath caught in his throat and in response, his hand tentatively slipped under his work shirt, tenderly running fingers lightly underneath and and nuzzling his cheek against his lover. He then let go and unsheathed his uniforms sash from his person so he could remove his shirt.

Doing so make the bare skin underneath light up with beautiful intergalactic colours.

He watched Virgil nervously swallow and while softly smiling, he tactfully pulled his boots off without his hands and teasingly started to slip his hands into the hem of his pants, under his boxers and slide them down till he was standing there naked, wearing nothing but a hologram of purple, pink and green galaxies.

Following his sibling’s lead, Virgil slowly pulled his shirt over his head, making sure to flex his muscles a little more than necessary for show. He couldn’t prevent the suggestive smile that played upon his lips. Kicking off his boots, with a lot less dignity than John, he removed his pants and boxers and swiftly dropped them to the floor. 

He felt entranced by the dancing colours upon his brother’s body, before holding his own arms out to watch as the gaseous haze slipped along them. It was like their skin was alive with movement and the dazzling spectrum of colours

For the first time, John could walk right around him. Lazily he ran his hands over Virgil as he circled him until he stopped behind him, sliding his arms under his brother's so he could only use his finger's to explore while pressing against him from behind. He was a little taller, but his reach wasn't able to go right around and one colourful arm and one darkened black from the bandages did their best to embrace their lover into them.

A soft moan escaped the older sibling’s lips as his lover slipped his arms around Virgil's torso. He could feel John’s excitement pressing against him, feeding his lust. He let his head fall back against his brother’s shoulder, eyes fluttering shut.

Slowly those soothing, healing hands started to venture lower while John started to lightly layer fluttering fleeting kisses down his brother's back until they were massaging the muscles in his calves and thighs and John playfully nipped one of his brother's cheeks on the back side.

“Ahh!” Came the yelped response from the older man, muscles tensing at the ticklish sensation. Virgil tried to turn around but John firmly held his hips in place. 

Virgil was unable to hide the shaking in his legs from the anticipation of what was to come. It had been too long since he had felt his lover’s hands upon his skin and teeth biting at his flesh. The memories of how quickly John could rile him up soon flooded back.

The wandering hands then moved a little more adventurously, stroking and teasing him, gently tugging his exposed and needy manhood.

Virgil’s knees buckled, collapsing to kneel in front of his lover as John’s hands continued to tease him from behind, “uhh… John… ah shit!”

Gripping his fist tighter around himself, blue eyes transfixed upon his brothers on screen in front of him, Scott hastily tugged at his own length as he bit his lip to contain a soft moan. Imagining himself in John’s place, torturing his immediate younger brother with teasing touches, making Virgil beg his name instead.

The sound playing through his headphones was driving him mad with arousal and jealousy. He had been waiting impatiently for the inevitable moment of passion between Virgil and John. Scott’s cameras were now capturing every sensual detail and relaying it to his laptop, creating his own personal voyeuristic setup.

Virgil leaned back onto John’s chest, watching his sibling’s hand work his length with rhythmic precision, his brother nibbling, licking and taking playful bites out of his shoulders.

“Don't hold back. We've got an entire space station to ourselves for you to love me in...as hard as you like.”

His body shuddered as John purred delightfully into his ears. Virgil felt his senses becoming overwhelmed. Sight filled with intoxicating colours and ears blessed with John’s increased breathing and soft moans from behind his head. Then there was touch… Each bite and lick was relentlessly delivered and timed to his lover’s strokes, Virgil’s mind quickly began to fuzz out of focus, barely able to contain himself..

“Ahhh! J-John!!” He called out loudly, barely recognising his own voice, “Unhhhh…”

“I love you Virgil.” John whispered, his voice angelic and warm. “I’d give you the existence of the universe if you let me.”

Virgil melted at John’s silky words, brain finally snapping back from the brink of ecstasy. He quickly turned and slipped his arm around his lover’s ribs, leaning backwards and twisting John around to straddle his hips. 

“Uhhhh, shit!” He exclaimed as their erections rubbed together, causing a delicious friction. Now Virgil could see his Polaris in all of his galaxy-covered glory. His magnificent glowing skin covered in twisting colours.

“You are the most beautiful thing in this universe, John… Ahhh!”

John shyly glanced away before he lowered himself flatter and took Virgil into his mouth, with a slow kiss from his lips.

Virgil bit hard on his lower lip from the effort it took to keep his hips from bucking upwards into John’s mouth. He felt a small trickle of warmth on his tongue and an iron taste as he released his teeth. 

If John wanted to play dirty, he’d get dirty. 

He quickly lifted John and pulled him to rest upon his stomach. Using his incredible strength, Virgil hauled them both up. Supporting his lover’s backside with his solid arms, standing tall with John’s long legs wrapped tightly around his hips.

Feeling John deliver another sharp nip into his shoulder, Virgil growled deeply. He moved with surprising speed to pin John against the wall, dipping his head to bite at his chest and shoulders. 

Kissing John’s lips hard, he readied himself by shifting his hips upwards. At the exact moment he entered his lover, Virgil bit down on John’s lip softly and dug his fingernails into His sibling’s hip and back.

Scott bit into his hand hard as Virgil slammed John at the wall near his hidden camera and when he forcefully entered John, the yelp of pain and the vicious bite from him into Virgil’s shoulders made him wince.

It didn't stop Virgil though, he bit into John's neck in return as he thrusted into him hard and fast eliciting another series of whimpers and yelps from the younger lover.

Scott would have stopped at that point, but Virgil had learned not to. The harder John bit him the more intensity he delivered, similarly with little gentler ones - it was like a signal for when it was too much or not enough.

His eyes narrowed. He would never be so ‘animalistic’ with a lover. He watched with disdain as Virgil sunk his teeth in again with a deep growl and he watched John make a mess before he returned the favour for Virgil who almost squashed him into the wall as he released too. 

Scott went to move from his computer, thinking he'd seen enough and that it was over until another camera overlooking the living quarters showed something more.

John didn't get very far away from Virgil after being in the holodeck, the bigger of the two siblings pinning the other down on the curved sofa after easily lifting the lighter one off the ground from around his legs for another hard - fast sexual session and even after it was done, Virgil didn't allow John the luxury to move, instead pleasuring him until he was ready to go again, pushing his lover forward onto the seat and taking him from behind.

It was obvious Virgil needed John badly after three months, the fact John seemed to tease and encourage this creature Virgil had become in his presence was insane, even to Scott.

They didn't stop in the living quarters either.

Scott watched on, grinning to himself with the amount of incriminating evidence that was piling up against them. When Virgil seemed to be burning out, he made sure John took over and gave himself a break, his younger lover may have had less ability to hold out for as long at that same intensity, John’s age meant the recovery time between romps was faster.

Scott checked the time codes. His brothers had been having very quick, short and hard ones for over two hours. He was impressed - maybe absence did help, they didn’t want to be physically separated by the looks of it, the teasing in between was a clear sign of that.

Eventually Scott had to get up and stretch his legs. He had enough stuff now to drop the ball on both of them now, grinning happily that once it all boiled over, things would be normal again, those two will become brothers only again and Scott would have Virgil back, his best friend in the world, all to himself.

John flopped back onto his narrow bed in his cabin, winded and out of breath. Virgil crawled onto the bed over the top of him hungrily, ready for at least one more before he had to go home before their father suspected something and called.

John gave him an exhausted smile. “You're still going?”

“You’re damned right,” Virgil purred, his breaths deep and forced. He manoeuvred himself to his knees above John, ghosting his fingertips across his lover’s chest.

Dipping to shower John’s torso with soft kisses, taking his time to savour each kiss on soft skin, a sheen of sweat glistening across them both.

Leaning further to kiss John’s lips deeply, Virgil adjusted himself above his lover’s reignited excitement. Rocking back to rest on his heels, he lowered himself fully around John’s length.

“Uhhhhhh…” 

John gasped and arched, for the first time all of Virgil’s weight was on his hips. “Ahhhh! Virgil I c-can’t!” his hips bucked wildly. “I really...uhhh!” 

He was too exhausted for this and his hips were not strong enough, but he tried, reaching up for his lover to pull him towards him as he tried to move his hips to give Virgil one last ride.

“Virgil…” he breathed out. “I can't hold it…”

“Then don’t…”

Gripping his own erection firmly, Virgil lifted himself steadily up and down, every muscle in his body tightening as he brought himself and John to one final orgasm. He felt John’s fingernails dig sharply into his thighs as he moved.

“Ahh, John… Nnghhhh… FUCK!” He moaned loudly, voice breaking slightly as he did so.

“Ahhhh! Uhh! Virgil...Virgil!” John arched right back, his shoulders pushing back into his pillows and a few stuffed animals Gordon gave him the last time they got to hit the shops on the mainland.

A reminder that he could be fun.

He gave it everything that he had left in him before completely giving out, his body unable to take anymore. He lay unmoving sprawled under Virgil who was nuzzling him, trying to encourage him for more.

“No...n-no more...gotta give it a rest…” John mumbled faintly. “Virgil...I...lov….” He breathed heavily a little more before he slowly drifted into some sort of derp doze. Virgil had well and truly gave him more than a run for his money in such a short period of time, John fully deserved whatever punishment his lover chose to dish out - though he had not expected this.

It wasn't long before he was snoring quietly, his need for rest out weighing his desire to stay awake and see Virgil off back home. His arm was still stinging but everything else was good - sometimes you can reach the point where your too content to care.

Virgil squeezed himself carefully beside John on the small bed, holding him for a few minutes whilst his own body recovered. Listening to the steady snoring from his brother made him grin widely. 

Untangling himself from around John’s body, Virgil stretched his tired muscles out and knelt beside his sleeping sibling. The younger man looked so peaceful there.

He reluctantly left John to retrieve his clothing from the holodeck, fighting fatigue to wrestle them on. Checking his holophone, there had been a missed call from Scott. He sighed. He would have to return to Earth sooner than he’d hoped.

Returning to where John still lay sleeping, Virgil couldn’t help but steal a look at the burn that had been dressed by his sibling. Carefully unraveling the dressing he carefully inspected the blistering skin. 

It looked like it had been there a while and didn't look like it was healing. Virgil frowned, something wasn't right if it wasn't getting better.

He didn't like his mild discovery. Uncovered, John subconsciously started to scratch it, his nails scraping the blisters and opening the weeping puffy wounds. It looked uncomfortable, like an eczema sufferer scratching constantly from extreme humidity irritating their skin.

The wound looked horrible and everytime Virgil tried to move his other hand away to fix the damage, the hand was back, scratching the burning itch.

Quickly rushing to fetch the first aid kit, Virgil hastily applying burn cream to the affected area. Continually batting his sibling’s intruding arm away. He tenderly wrapped the burn in a fresh dressing and scrawled a small note on the empty paper dressing packet.

‘Call me when you wake up. Love you. V x’

Placing a soft kiss on John’s forehead, he whispered his goodbye and stowed away the first aid kit. Virgil returned to Thunderbird Three ready for the journey back home.

 


	23. Manipulation

As the couch came back up through the floor, Virgil was greeted by his father, whom nodded. “Trouble son? You were gone a while.”

Virgil visibly stiffened, his father’s presence unwelcome after his blissful break, “No trouble, just gave John a hand with a few maintenance issues,” he lied, standing up from the couch.

Jeff seemed to nod and accepted the answer. “How do you think your brother's handling going back to work? Taking it seriously I gather?”

“He’s handling it very well,” Virgil paused, coming to stand in front of his father, “though I think the occasional break back home wouldn’t go amiss.”

“Noted. May consider it. Now run along, I'm sure you've got things to do.”

Virgil cringed inwardly at his father’s condescending tone, glad to leave his company to retreat to his room. He wasn't alone for long.

“Hey, Virgil! How'd it go?” Gordon slouched in the doorframe, smiling.

“Great,” Virgil smirked, raising an eyebrow at Gordon, “you don’t mean to tell me you want details?” He laughed, placing a hand on Gordon’s shoulder.

“He’s doing ok I think, he’s managed to burn his arm on something up there, and he misses us all,” Virgil informed him, “Though I spoke to dad just now and he said he’d consider letting him down for breaks.”

Gordon held his smile but waved off some of the conversation. “So otherwise all hunky dory despite the self inflicted catastrophe then? That's good.” Gordon absently scratched his right arm, the same way John had with his left. Virgil noted it was red raw with claw marks from his own fingernails. “Did you try the -” he did a bit of a head gesture, “Stuff I gave you? Was thinking if they were any good I might get some for when I ask Tintin to marry me. I'm just needing to ark up the courage, but if you guys can do it, then surely I can get my butt in gear right?”

“That’s uncanny,” Virgil gestured to Gordon’s arm, “The opposite arm John has burnt, is red raw on you too! You should get some lotion on it to soothe it.” 

Gordon looked a little surprised for a few seconds before looking at his arm. He then laughed. “Ah don't worry too much, Virge! Actually now you've mentioned it, I'm kind of not surprised! Johnny gets hurt and I tend to feel it too. He was like that when I had my accident too. I felt like utter crap and boy - the hypochondria spread to him like a blooming rash! Well, that what Scotty called it, I call it sympathy pain. Must admit I felt something was up when you guys were away… I was quite unwell for some of it and hurt all over.”

Gordon shrugged. “Downside of being a twin I suppose. I'll fix it in a few.”

Virgil stifled a giggle, spluttering it out as a barking laugh instead, “So I guess you get the… uh… added benefits of shared pleasure by the sounds of it.”

Gordon looked like he had been slapped with a halibut. “Huh? I guess I get weird bouts of happiness, don't we all?” He gave Virgil a curious glance, failing to see what his older brother was getting at.

Virgil snorted another laugh, “How were you feeling about, oh… a few hours ago?” He asked, shooting Gordon a suggestive look.

His brother gave him an odd one in return. “Energised, why? I was helping Titin in the Gardens her dad used to look after when he was alive. Relaxing really, I had felt pretty drained of late. How come? You think I should propose to her while here on the island and not in a fancy dinner joint?”

Virgil stopped his mirth, regarding Gordon for a moment. 

“Gosh you’re really worried about this aren’t you? I think the gardens would be a wonderful place to propose, very thoughtful of you. It’d mean the world to Tintin,” Virgil offered sincerely, “she’d be lucky to have you Gordo, you’re a sensitive guy when you’re not plotting something.”

“Ha ha, oh ye of little faith.” Gordon rolled his eyes. “Alan said to just do it already but that's not the issue anymore….” His expression stormed over like rain drowning a parade. “It's dad.”

Feeling his anger rising, Virgil’s fists clenched. “What is HIS problem with it? It’s got nothing to do with him.”

“Sort of does….” Gordon gave a very pained expression. “After Kyrano died, dad...technically adopted her - legally as family. She's our sister by law. That makes it a problem.”

Virgil paused, thoughtfully considering Gordon’s situation. It wasn’t too dissimilar to his and John’s. Though that was, to put it mildly, far more complicated in the eyes of the law and society itself.

“I don't know what to do, Virgil. And without John's brain to bash mine against, I'm outta ideas.”

“I would say do it anyway,” Virgil smiled confidently, “besides, look at John and I… it can’t be worse than that in the way of pissing dad off!” 

Virgil tried to wear a brave smile as he spoke to his younger sibling. He wasn’t at all sure what the future held for John and him, he knew they would never be accepted in many ways. He felt awful that Gordon was to be separated from his twin at the time when they needed each other the most. 

“Gordon,” he started, “I know I’m not John, but I am still your brother… if you ever want to talk to me about anything, I’m here for you, y’know that?”

“I know Virgil. But it's that brain in his head I need to pick.” Gordon chuckled. “Be amazed that there's more in there than just the stars and the universe.”

“His mind is incredible,” Virgil agreed, “I don’t understand it all the time, I’ll admit, but I’m always amazed by it.”

Virgil could feel his acidic muscles aching as he stood in the hallway. As he went to reach for the handle on his bedroom door, his eldest brother turned the corner of the corridor.

Gordon’s face went stone. Clearly something happened between them while Virgil was away.

“So, propose yet?”

“Why do you care?”

Scott shrugged. “I don't but your situation is sad and mildly amusing.”

“You could help me with the legal bullshit instead of being an arse.”

“What would be the point of that? For once this is something even I can't help you with.”

Gordon snorted. “Look, if you're going to tote Alan's comment earlier about our island - our own laws then you clearly didn't learn anything with the air force.”

“Guys, stop it!” Virgil hollered over his bickering brothers, “I’ve only been gone for a few hours… And this is what I get back to? What the hell happened?”

The second eldest looked between his brothers, seeing Gordon’s face twisted with anger and Scotts covered in a smug grin.

“Try four hours.” Scott chuckled.

Gordon shook his head and started to walk away. “I don't need this shit.”

“Gordon, wait!” Virgil called, ignored by his younger sibling who continued to walk away. He rounded on Scott, “What the fuck have you done?”

Scott shrugged. “He handed me a bunch of legal papers I could barely understand. No idea otherwise.”

Virgil turned his back on Scott, grabbing his door handle, “Do you have to be an arse to Gordo? He’s got enough shit on without you picking in.” He opened his bedroom door, stepping inside and looking at the eldest over his shoulder. “Just leave off it for a bit, yeah?”

“Sure.” Scott snorted. “Gordon's not the one who's going to be in the shit anyway.” He gave Virgil a look. “Four hours for maintenance? What were you fixing? Dad will ask eventually. You either have a quick run up there or you will be there for a few days because of fiddling with stuff externally with the station like replacing the oxygen tanks because that stuff is a bastard to swap over. But four hours? John offer you hot coffee or something?”

Virgil was taken aback by Scott’s eerily accurate assumption. He stood in the door frame, arms leant above his head against the wooden frame.

“What’s it to you?” He sniped, eyes boring into Scott’s, “We unloaded the supplies, tweaked the holo communication settings and caught up… Though I don’t feel I should have to explain myself to you, I already told Dad about the maintenance, he was fine with it. Haven’t you got something better to do?”

“Look, you are aware John's on probation right? Anything not work related up there at the moment will land him in alot of trouble. Dad’s already ticking his mind over because we've been calling him more than him actually working up there. Sure, we've done alot of rescues in three months, but dad's expecting military grade respect to the rules laid down and he's broken a few wasting time on call with us. I don't want him to lose his job but do you?”

“How exactly does he know about ‘excessive’ phone calls, Scott?” Virgil questioned accusingly. “Look, he’s working his arse off up there, Just because I stayed to chat a little is hardly his fault is it?”

Scott sighed. “All the calls get logged and monitored in dad's office. He even does it for me and Alan, infact more so because we dick atound up treating it as a holiday. Even private calls. If you've been using it as your ‘romantic keep in touch’ dad's going to find out faster than you realise. I'd be very damn careful Virgil. Wouldn't want John to be disowned again.” He shuffled his feet a little. “Trust me, he's chewed me and Alan out for phone calls and downloading porn up there so we can have our alone time.”

Virgil felt his stomach churn, a warm uncomfortable panic settling in the pit of his torso. He glanced at Scott, uneasily. “All of the calls are monitored?” his voice was betraying his fear. 

Head in a panic, Virgil began to consider his options. Breaking in and sneaking into his Dad’s office to wipe the call data was his only option so far. Which wouldn’t work being that is was locked at for the majority of the time.

“When did this start?”

“I assume years, only in the last few have we discovered that he does. Look, Alan and I get bored up there, John rarely does...at least, till now. He's never had any reason to be told because he's always doing his job. We'll all be to blame if he gets in trouble this time, you're not the only person who calls often for hours, Gordon and I have been too… and Alan had to remind me! Alan! Of ALL PEOPLE!”

“Why have you been calling him?” Virgil snapped, before he’d had a chance to stop himself. He couldn’t help how Scott was getting his hackles up.

Scott frowned. “After what happened on the farm? He fell into bloody chasm! I'm entitled to worry about him!” Scott spat. “Besides, he was having a few emotional dilemmas involving dad too. Geesh, Virgil...can't I care about my younger brother? Or is the fact you two are… involved that I can't be an actual brother anymore?”

“SHUT UP!” Virgil shouted, lunging out of the doorway, grabbing Scott’s shirt and pushing him against the wall, “Don’t you dare try to twist this onto me. You’re the one that’s been off with him ever since the charity ball!” 

“Twisting what? Sure I disagree with you two but I'm not stopping you guys. Heck Gordon is even turning a blind eye and he has less of a reason to, since John is his twin. You should be giving me as much credit for ignoring how I feel as you do Gordon and actually warning you that shit would hit the fan if you're not careful. I haven't heard anyone else do that and THAT worries me more.”

Virgil practically growled at Scott, inches from his face, “you disagree with us? What happened to ‘you can’t help who you fall in love with’ hey?” He hissed through gritted teeth. “Giving you credit? Pfft! For what, not telling Dad?” He paused, a look of sadness falling softly across his face, “So you’re telling me that you’re the only one who’s helping us… I thought John said that Gordon was okay with it? Things are hard enough already without this shit.” 

He released his fists from his brother’s shirt before disappearing into his room, slamming the door shut. Virgil sank onto his bed, his body aching from the effort.

To say that he was confused was an understatement. Was Scott really the only one who was looking out for them? Was Gordon unhappy with him being with John? It began to make sense the more he thought about it.

 


	24. Banishment

John woke up after pawing around in his sleep, agitated that something felt wrong. 

He was hugging his pillows again but he was sure that wasn't it.

Groggily, he sat himself up, leaning against the wall partition beside the bed a little confused as to why he was sleeping in his bed the wrong way up.

He looked at his bandaged arm and frowned. He had been scratching it again as the dressings were all loose. Fuck, couldn't there be any creams on board that would stop him doing that?

Probably not. He really should check it into emergency at a hospital. Or would have done if he wasn't thousands of miles in orbit.

Was everything yesterday a dream? Was Virgil really here making love to him? John checked himself over revealing bite marks in his sides, legs and other places only Virgil had access to because they were lovers.

No, yesterday was definitely real. Then why didn't it feel like it?

‘Because,’ he said in the privacy of his own head, ‘Virgil was only here for a few hours and after three months, a few hours isn't long enough.’

He stood on wobbly legs and stumbled out of his cabin to head for the tiny onboard bathroom on the other side of his living quarters and was impressed that Virgil made good on one of his promises - Fucking him so hard he could barely walk straight.

Not that he minded. Virgil could do that till John's brains fell out of his head as far as he cared. That was a closeness only his brother was allowed to have and the longer they got to stay together in that intimate embrace, the more safer John felt...like a part that was missing was now whole.

After a super cold shower and a clean uniform, he went to check some legal stuff Gordon sent him over some buttered bread - since he still hadn't fixed the toaster he broke - found a few loopholes in which his twin would be grateful for and tried to call.

No signal. John checked under the holotable and everything checked out fine, so he tried again.

Still static. Frowning, he went to the elevator to go to the communications bridge to try from there. 

There was an eerie silence when he entered, something sending off alarm bells in his head. The room should be filled with the scratchy gnawing sound of tinny voices that could grate on your nerves after five minutes but today there wasn't a sound. 

He checked the secondary deck on the opposite side of the station and was greeted by the same uneasy silence.

Ah shit. Why couldn't this happen when Virgil was here? John knew what he'd be spending the next several days doing - or rather weeks because technically this was a three man repair job - changing every external antenna on the station, every signal radio dish and the most fiddly - checking every damn connection in the communication decks for faulty wiring and a full system reboot that kept him on communication lock down for hours to days depending in the fault.

Last time this happened he had Gordon’s help to fix it. This time he was on his own and he didn't have a choice in the matter whether to fix it or not.

It had to be done. No distress calls in or out of the station could be taken unless the meteor warning system was triggered or a damaged oxygen tank triggered it, the only main ones to go direct to Tracy island and bypass every other distress signal because it meant the systems in the station were failing and the duty monitors life was in danger.

He let out a heavy sigh. He better suit up and fix it.

Virgil was awoken late afternoon by Jeff looming over his bed.

“Sleep well son?” Jeff said, his tone of voice suggesting that he didn't really care but was hiding something else he wanted to discuss under the guise of pleasantries.

Slowly coming round from his sleepy state, Virgil realised he hadn’t even made it under his bed covers, instead he lay on top of them, shirtless and groggy.

“Dad? Wha-” he yawned, “Whats up?”

Jeff pressed the button on a little remote and the TV on the partition opposite Virgil’s large double bed lit up.

“Care to explain this, son? Now I know I'm not up to speed here, but this doesn't qualify as ‘maintenance’.”

Virgil watched in horror as the screen before them ignited with the image of the intimate moments he and John had shared on the space station. John’s figure was pressed up against the wall by the recorded version of himself, lost in the throws of passion. His stomach lurched, nausea rising as he was forced to listen to the mechanically modified version of their moans. 

Jeff growled. “I suspected as much from you brother after I had done a bit of digging around after his ‘little episode’ at the charity event months ago but THIS… THIS VIRGIL, I DID NOT EXPECT FROM YOU. CARE TO EXPLAIN!?”

Virgil felt acidic bile rush up into the back of his throat, burning as he struggled to fill his lungs with sufficient oxygen. Heart rate rocketing in fear, Virgil scrambled off the bed to his feet and away from his father.

Fight or Flight.

Adrenaline surged through his veins as his hyperaroused body began to tremble. God he wished this torture would end. 

“STAY WHERE YOU ARE!” Jeff bellowed. Instinct made Virgil’s legs buckle, pinning him to his own bed in fear. Their father rarely got angry but when he did lose his temper, boy could he spread unpleasantness around. Jeff was a very prestigious military man before being selected to be an astronaut and could command terror and obedience usually just by standing and frowning. With John discovering an independence that was entirely out of his control, the wrath side to this ex military man started to seep through, something dark, scary and was only ever seen once - when their mother had died.

They all prayed they never saw it again….until now.

“EXPLAIN TO ME THIS - THIS CRIME YOU TWO COMMITTED UNDER MY ROOF!”

Virgil could do nothing but watch the artery pulse madly on his father’s neck. All of the words in the universe could not offer any reprieve from his father’s fury, why bother trying?

He willed the TV to cease its incessant and unrelenting noises, wishing it to be a blank screen once more. Virgil could feel his own fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm as his hands formed tense shaking fists. 

He finally made an attempt to speak, only to find his mouth hang awkwardly open, too dry to form words.

“ANSWER ME, BOY!” Jeff thundered. “WAS IT JOHN’S IDEA OR YOURS?”

“MINE!” 

Though this was not entirely true, Virgil was not about to let John be brought down with him as the tsunami of their father’s rage came crashing down. He was shocked how loud and intimidating his own voice had become.

The fist came hard and fast, striking Virgil like a mallet across his cheekbone. 

“You have forty eight hours to pack your stuff and GET OFF MY ISLAND.” Jeff bellowed. “Maybe it's my fault letting you boys think the rules for every day society doesn't apply to you but for this… this abominable atrocity, YOU ARE NO LONGER MY SONS, THE PAIR OF YOU. I truly expected better from you Virgil… I really did.” Jeff growled low. “Get some boxes and START PACKING!”

Virgil scrambled to his feet, still clutching his face with his hands. He stood up as tall and proud as he could manage as his heart broke, a fiery defiance in his eyes. Spitting blood at the older man from where his cheek had been sliced by his teeth.

He left the room and stormed off, past his brothers who had gathered at the end of the corridor. He couldn’t look at any of them. They were no longer his siblings after all. 

Finally he let himself come to a stop as he entered the silo that was home to his beloved ‘bird. Virgil reached into his pocket and fished out his holophone. He had to speak to John, to see if their father had made contact, and if not to warn him of what was to come.

He dialed out and waited, only to be met with static when the call could not connect. Virgil angrily attempted several more times to no avail. Stuffing the phone back to his pocket, he sought out one of the communication units dotted around the hangar. Each call failing to connect.

A new and much more terrifying fear spread like a fire through his mind. 

‘What had he done to John?’

Virgil quickly grabbed a few bags from the supplies store and made his way back to his room. Turning back to the bedroom-filled corridor he came to face with his father. 

If he had hurt John, Virgil had nothing to lose anymore. He exploded.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?” Virgil’s voice thundered around the narrow hallway.

“That is none of your concern. He's alive and well, at least unless you give me a reason otherwise to do so.”

“You…! You fucking heartless BASTARD!” Virgil spat venomously, shaking his head in disbelief, “John had NOTHING to do with this… It was all me!” 

Jeff sighed. “Bastard maybe, not not heartless. As angry and ashamed of you both as I am, having you as far apart from each other as possible is for your own good. It's this, or I send both of you off to a mental home. Take your pick, son.”

“Son?” Virgil snorted, “Oh so now I’m your son again? Send me away then, just don’t leave him up there alone!” He pleaded for John to be spared the pain of isolation.

“He'll be collected once you off the island,” Jeff said flatly. “I can't trust him to do a job he wanted so badly to have. He'll be given the same forty eight hours to vacate.”

Virgil gave up on the conversation with his father, heading instead to his room to begin packing his belongings. The enormity of the situation was beyond him, he tried to think where he would go, what he would do, how would he find John?

The footage was still rolling on the TV. Virgil glanced at the moving pictures of him and his brother's private moments being invaded and felt a pang of strong guilt when it dawned on him this was how John felt about the paintings. Something very intimate being shared with the world that was only meant to be for the eyes of one person only.

As he tossed clothes angrily into a suitcase he thought about Scott’s warning and then how Gordon, while sounding genuine about asking him to look after John…

Someone, was going to pay.

 


	25. Accusations fly

John had spent a good few hours carefully replacing the nodes outside on the main anntnea of the big radio dish that sat tucked under the huge station and started to make the trek upwards on the ladder in his clunky space suit until he reached the maintenance hatch. He frowned, he didn't recall locking the air seal and now it was shut tight and no input code he used seemed to open it.

Checking his air supply, John made an executive decision. He started to slowly make his way for the open docking bay in hopes the airlock would open in there.

Virgil whipped his head around to see who had been the source of the forced cough. Stood awkwardly in the doorway was Gordon, looking sorrowful and worried.

Ignoring the aquanaut, Virgil returned to stuffing clothes and possessions into the bags.

“Virgil, what's going on?” He asked. “What was all that on about with dad?”

Sighing in frustration, Virgil dropped the last of the clothes and stood to face Gordon. 

“Oh come off it, Gordon,” he snarled, “you would have heard every word from where you were all stood.” 

“Come off what? Alan was asking me a billion questions as all we heard was shouting. It was hard to keep him from storming up here himself. Why was dad yelling at you?”

“Put it this way,” Virgil spat, walking angrily up to Gordon, “You won’t have to worry about me messing John up anymore.” 

Gordon furrowed his brow and cocked his head to one side.

“Someone filmed John and I together on Thunderbird Five…” Virgil continued, searching Gordon’s eyes for any sign of guilt, “So now I’ve been disowned and given 48 hours to pack and leave.” 

The red head looked mortified. “Someone did WHAT!?”

“Anything you want to tell me, Gordon?” Virgil seethed, “Am I not good enough to love John? Is that it?”

Virgil’s skin prickled as Scott’s words about Gordon being unsupportive reverberated loudly around his skull. 

“Maybe you thought it would make a great joke? Who the fuck knows?” Virgil hissed, rage rushing to fill the panic shaped void in his head, clouding all judgement. “And to think I thought you were genuinely concerned when you handed me those fucking condoms. Now I see it was to make sure you got the evidence you were after!”

Snatching Gordon’s shirt into his fist, Virgil dragged him further into his room and pushed him harshly to the TV.

“Take a fucking look,” Virgil demanded, gesturing his eyes towards the screen where the figures were still entangled with one another. “Admire your handiwork.”

Gordon’s eyes gravitated to the television and his face went ghostly white - that same as John had in his hologram in the art gallery when seeing his entire soul on display - only difference being what was on screen was John's quarters on Thunderbird Five with Virgil on top of him, roughing him up, riding him while he was too tired to take anymore.

Something bubbled inside Gordon and before Virgil could shout more blame on him, the red head shoved the bigger Tracy backwards onto the floor, pinning him down and started punching him.

“You son of a bitch! Your supposed to fucking be looking out for him! Not fucking rooting him till he drops! What kind of a fucking man are you!?” He lifted Virgil a little by his shirt to meet his face, blood dribbling from a cut under his eye from where Gordon's rings on his knuckles had caught him and blood from his nose. “You - you utter fucking violent son of a bitch!” He shook him hard until Virgil grabbed him to stop him.

Grabbing Gordon’s arm to cease his onslaught, Virgil swung a well aimed punch at the younger man’s face, knocking him to the floor. 

“Spare me the bullshit!” Virgil hissed, spraying small flecks of blood at his brother as he curled a hand around Gordon’s neck. “You fucking caused this didn’t you? You fucking little shit! Do you have any idea how much shit you have just caused?”

“John is up there all alone at the mercy of whatever dad wants because of you! You fucking arsehole!” Virgil leant his weight on the smaller framed man, effectively immobilising him.

“I'm the arsehole?! I'm not the one having violent sex with MY TWIN when I thought you GAVE A FUCKING SHIT! If I knew you'd do that to him till he collapsed I'd have NEVER said no when Scott asked me to join you on the supply run!” Gordon snapped, inches from Virgil's nose. Unlike John, Gordon’s teeth were alot shaper looking in the canines and if he wanted to chomp on his siblings nose from this distance, Virgil wouldn't stand a chance.

Instead, Gordon viciously went for his left ear, taking a decent chunk out of it. Virgil grabbed for his head, hollering in pain and distracted to be fully taken unawares by the shorter stockier Tracy kneeing him in the groin to get himself free.

Virgil doubled over, groaning in pain as Gordon’s knee connected with the sensitive area. 

“Fuck off!” Virgil struggled, hissing and moaning as the pain continued. “Haven’t you fucked this up enough already? Why do you have to rub salt in the wound?”

“John wanted me to do that, I happily obliged,” Virgil shot Gordon a defiant look, he would pay for being the reason the second eldest would never see his Polaris again. 

Gordon scrambled to his feet. “What the FUCK are you on about?! The only one who screwed shit up is yourself! All I did was ask you to bloody look after my twin, treat him properly like he deserves and you shove me in front of,” he gestured at the television wildly, “ THAT! What do you EXPECT ME TO FEEL? SYMPATHY?! That to me looks like your FUCKING RAPING MY CLOSEST SIBLING! And you expect me to just let you get away with that!? You think I don't give a shit about John's well being!? I'm fucking SCARED he lets you do that, Virgil! No one should!” 

He was now shaking, balling his fists ready for another strike. “And now he's probably going to be in deeps shit too! IT'S ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!”

“I DIDN’T RAPE HIM! MY FAULT?!” Virgil thundered his voice at Gordon, kneeling before him, tears forming in his eyes, “Why did YOU put fucking cameras up there? You sick fuck.”

Gordon hesitated. “What fucking cameras? I haven't set FOOT ON THE STATION since John was reinstated! How the fucking hell can I put cameras up when I'm not PHYSICALLY THERE!?”

Virgil collapsed against the side of his bed, panting for breath. His tired and aching body suffering the full force of his younger brother’s fierce protective reactions.

“Y… You mean it wa… Wasn’t you?”

Gordon tried to calm down, but it was very difficult to do. “Course not! What you and John do isn't my business unless John involves me himself or you hurt him! WHICH YOU DID!”

Gordon closed his eyes, took a deep breath and tried a proper effort to calm down. “Ok… So he let you? I'll ask him, till then your not off the hook with me, ok?” He visibly twitched as the words came out but at least that was better than hitting Virgil again - as Gordon knew there was no stopping him a second time.

“Has either you or dad spoken to John yet?”

Virgil and Gordon turned to the doorway to see a terrified Alan stood there. The youngest Tracy looked between his older brothers, shock spreading across his face.

“What the devil is going on here?” He queried, big blue eyes wide with worry at the sight of Virgil’s bloody face. Gordon sprinted for the TV and threw a shirt over it.

“Dad’s cut off all communications to Thunderbird Five,” Virgil answered, tears threatening to fall as he lay slumped against the bed, clawing for the remote to shut the TV off.

Alan gave them both a confused look. “Well if that's the case it will be under lockdown until dad flies up himself as only he has the codes to get in and out. As long as John is on the inside he'll be fine. You took supplies up recently, right? Then he's practically living in a minimum security prison still able to do whatever he wants.”

Gordon seemed to be faster on the uptake than Virgil and asked, “Alan, do you know anything about any ‘cameras’ up there?” He queried.

“Yeah, Scott said dad asked him to set some up because John was on probation to keep an eye on him. He never said much else about them and because it was dad's order I never questioned it.” Alan replied. “Did I say something wrong?” he added worried, looking at his older siblings exchange glances.

Gordon bolted for the door and Virgil grabbed him around the waist, swinging him back around, kicking and shouting, “LET ME GET MY FISH GUTTING KNIFE! I'M GOING TO FUCKING SKIN THE BASTARD!”

“Let ME go instead, Gordon!” Virgil growled, “I’ve got nothing to lose at this point. I don’t want you in trouble too.”

He turned to Alan, who stood rooted to the spot in terror, “make sure he doesn’t leave this room until I get back.”

Gordon grabbed his trunk-like arm. “No fucking way am I sitting this out.” He snarled. “You either take me with you or I'll rip your other ear off.”

 


	26. When it all breaks

John had eventually crawled into the docking bay and made his way over to the airlock.

Three hours of oxygen remaining. Whew! Plenty to spa-

He punched several keys and codes in and swore as the airlock wouldn't budge.

Shit!

Examining his tool belt, he had some cutting equipment which he tried putting to to use on the door. Sure the pressurisation would be compromised, but each room inside the station had airlocks between them so he could safely leave this area out of bounds until he could get a signal out to say it needed repairs.

Or he would have done, if the steel in question actually cut away with his tool belt laser cutter.

Great, he was stuck on the outside. Or was he? There was one more hatch on the top of the station by the main dome. If that didn't open he could attempt plan D and break one of the sensors that made up the meteor deflector system.

That would get their attention back home if worst case scenario was to occur.

Hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

Scott sat alone quietly in their Father’s office, laptop in front of him, silent tears falling down his face. He had never expected their father to disown Virgil and threaten him. Now his best friend was being forced to leave the island, with nowhere to go. He had traipsed through the numerous files over and over, watching each intimate detail of his brothers’ time alone. 

Reviewing the most recent file, stopped short by his father cutting power to the space station, he noticed that John had been preparing to leave the station, space suit on and reaching for the airlock before the screen went black. He replayed the footage, double and then triple checking his eyes were not deceiving him.

“John, you idiot,” he hissed to himself.

Hearing fast and heavy footsteps approaching, Scott glanced up to see his younger brothers storming towards him. Closing the laptop hurriedly, he sprang to his feet, fear shooting through his body.

They knew.

Scott made a desperate attempt to bolt past them. Instead he was pinned against the wall by his throat, Virgil’s hand gripping tightly around his throat. Hatred was written all over his younger sibling’s face.

 

“Woah! Heey!” He choked out. “What gives?”

“Keep him steady, Virge, I'll cut his fucking nuts off.” Gordon grinned with malice behind him, tugging Scott’s trousers down and manhandling him until something cold and sharp was pressed against his family jewels. “Say the word, Virgil and they're gone.”

Squeezing his brother’s throat tighter in his hand, the second eldest leant towards Scott, “Go on then Scotty, give me one reason I shouldn’t give him the word.” Virgil growled deeply.

Scott clawed at Virgil’s arm, fingernails digging into flesh. 

“Ahhh-” his voice was cut off as Virgil increased the pressure on his trachea. “Because I… I think… John may… AHH! He may have been outside… Thunderbir- AH! When it locked down.”

“Why should we trust you?” Gordon growled, pressing the knife into flesh leaving a slight puncture wound and getting a hiss from Scott. “You've been selling Johnny and Virge out.”

Scott screamed out, choked down to a small whimper as Gordon readied the knife to strike again.

“You pathetic conniving bastard!” Virgil roared, a furious haze clouding his mind. “Fucking jealous or something? John was right! He warned me you would try and ‘remedy’ us!”

Gordon shot Virgil a perplexed look, as Scott flinched.

“I’ve got news for you, Scott, YOU’VE REALLY FUCKED THIS UP! Don’t you dare try and get our sympathy by saying John is in trouble. We know that already, he’s trapped up there alone with no communications, THANKS TO YOU!”

Virgil raised his arm, still wrapped in it’s hard cast, retracted and brought it crashing down against his eldest brother’s face. Scott’s head rebounded off the wall behind him with a sickening smack.

“You made me think Gordon was the one trying to sabotage things… Made me think you were the only one who was helping… Then you plunge the knife right into my fucking back!” Virgil spat some of the blood that continued to accumulate in his mouth at Scott’s face. “So… Why the FUCK should we trust you?”

Suddenly there was a loud beeping from the portrait wall and Gordon moved the blade away from Scott to look up, ignoring Virgil laying into him.

His eyes grew wide and he stood up alert and grabbed Virgil roughly. “Look!” He pointed at the photographs on the wall of the casual posed portraits their father used for ‘operation cover up’. “John's is blinking! Something's happened to Thunderbird Five!”

John grunted as he rested against the glass dome, securing another cable to keep him tethered to the station. That took a lot of effort to smash, but breaking one of the orbs that protected the station’s meteor defence unit had to be done to trigger an emergency signal to the island that there was a systems failure on Thunderbird Five. John knew it was the only way a signal could go out if there was no comms working and not one he'd take lightly since the station was more or less his home and damaging it felt like sin.

He checked his remaining air supply. Less than a hour left. He had used most of it trying to get into the damn place and knew he was going to be in trouble regardless if he moved around or not.

Ok...what was it that Gordon told him about breathing? Ah right…

The important part was to remain calm and regulate your breathing. Panic and you wasted you oxygen.

Sometimes, John wished he was a real proper trained astronaut. He wouldn't have let this happen if he was.

At least, if no one came for him the view was the prettiest to die with.

Virgil dropped Scott to the floor with a sickening blow to the stomach, rounding to look at the portrait of his brother, lights flashing behind the eyes.

“Gordon! Shit, get Alan,” he yelled, ignoring Scott’s pained wheezing below him, “We’ve got to get Thunderbird Three up there, NOW!”

Gordon rushed from the room in search of the youngest Tracy.

Virgil crouched next to Scotts crumpled form on the floor, cradling and rubbing his own bleeding knuckles. He grabbed a fistful of his sibling’s dark hair and brought his face closer.

“You had better hope nothing has happened to John up there,” Virgil warned, his voice a threatening murmur, “If he’s hurt in any way, you’ll be the one responsible and I will personally eject you into space.”

Pulling Scott’s limp body from the floor, Virgil dragged him towards the couch to wait for Gordon and Alan to return.

“I-I’m s-sorry, Virge,” came a quiet whimper from beside the larger man, “I just want-”

“Want what?” Virgil snapped, “Actually don’t bother answering that… You will be fucking sorry, I promise you.”

Gordon and Alan both came running up and practically lept on the couch, Alan was fast to pull the leaver and the four of them descended on the red sofa town towards Thunderbird Three's launch silo.

After quickly settling into each of their seats, no words were spoken as Alan quickly ran through the pre-launch procedure, hands moving confidently to flick various switches and make alterations.

Shortly after the ship launched as it sped through the stratosphere, the comms line crackled, filling the small space with their father’s booming voice.

“WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING? You are to return to base IMMEDIATELY!” Jeff bellowed, his sons flinching.

“Sorry dad,” Gordon’s voice cut in, venom returning with added bile. “This is an emergency of the impossible kind and only we are able to do it!” And with that he cut the communication links off with the island, changing it over so they could locate their sibling.

The boosted instrumental power helped Virgil pinpoint John's location outside the station, and as the large red rocket swung around for a better look they got a visual of the lone spaceman, floating in the void luckily still tethered to the station.

Alan got up hurriedly, “Virgil take the controls! Gordon get the oxygen tank from the medical unit ready! I'm going nature trailing!”

He was very light hearted in how he said it, but the fear was clearly showing in his features. He knew if John wasn't holding to the safety cable properly then he had run out of air.

Hopefully John was holding his breath out there - Alan didn't want to bring back a sibling whose brain was starved of oxygen turning him into a vegetable or worse.

Virgil rushed forward to grab the controls of the rocket, steadying the trajectory slightly as Alan dashed to prepare for the task ahead with Gordon. 

Scott made an attempt to stand up from his seat to follow. 

“Sit the fuck down, Scott,” Virgil warned, fighting his own fear to keep Thunderbird Three on target.

“Actually,” Alan snapped around. “Those big fucking laser cutters that's in the hold - have fun cutting through the airlock in the docking bay with that for us.”

“What!? That thing is bloody heavy!”

“I know.” Smirked Alan. “Consider it my contribution for payback of you being an arsehole.”

Virgil felt a strange pride in his youngest brother. Though Alan was not fully aware of the situation, he was so focused on saving John, nothing else mattered to him at that point.

Guiding the large red craft into position, he made final adjustments before successfully connecting with the space station. 

“Good to go, Allie.”

“FAB.”  

Outside the craft, Alan used the lack of gravity to pick up momentum in his movements to reach the stricken Tracy and glanced at the tanks on the back. 

They weren't empty, but still dangerously low.

He couldn't see his brother's face from the humidity of his breath had covered the inside of the helmet.

Now that was something Alan had never seen before on a space rescue. Reigning in his desire to panic, he unclipped John from the station and transferred it to his suit to make bringing John back with him easier.

Virgil had his face pressed against the glass watching intently as Alan made a speedy return towards Thunderbird Three. Following every moment in the hope he would see John move of his own accord. There was no such movement from his younger sibling.

Anxiously rushing towards the airlock, awaiting Alan’s arrival, Virgil nervously scratched at the ripped skin on his knuckles.

Gordon touched his shoulder. “It's ok, I've got this. We need you to dock this thing so boofhead can cut us a way inside. You have the sturdiest hands, Virgil, but right now as much as you want to help us with John, you need to stand back in case your feelings get in the way.” He gave Scott a glance. “I know your about to say I'm a liability too, but I'm better than Scotty right now trust wise and let's face it, I don't have the extra level of intimacy with John you have to cloud my judgment. Are you fine with that?”

Virgil nodded limply, returning to complete the docking procedures once Alan was onboard and following Scott to get access to the closed airlock between the two great machines.

Scott lumbered ahead of him carrying the heavy and awkward laser cutters. His determination was almost admirable if it wasn’t for the unforgivable betrayal he had committed. 

Leaning silently against the wall, Virgil watched as his older brother adjusted the laser settings and began to slice away the tight seal of the airlock. As he got closer to completion, Virgil stepped forward to support the weight of the large door, helping to manoeuvre it away, finally gaining access to the inner section of the lock. Pushing Scott forward as he entered the space. 

He got a surprise when Alan and Gordon carried John between them, stripped out of his space suit and his shirt. He was lucid and able to walk with support but it had been a very close call. He was still being made to breathe oxygen through a mask, but was able to give Virgil a very weak thumbs up as his way of saying ‘thanks’.

He looked sickly, like he was developing another fever. It wasn't far from it, the burn on the arm was still gross and had gotten slightly infected so when Gordon and Alan limped him to the infirmary it was immediately tended to and antibiotics were injected while Scott assisted Virgil in locking down the breached area of the station to keep the oxygen they all needed trapped inside with them than escaping outside.

When Virgil ducked his head into the infirmary, Gordon was leaning over the infected burn trying to carefully cut away the blistered and gross skin that was causing all the problems, cleaning the puss and removing any blisters that will not heal without intervention. Alan however was having a hell of a time keeping John still on the bed, the older blonde having kicked him in the head and kneeing him as he struggled to wriggle around from the pain.

The mask only aided in muffling the screaming. John made a terrible patient.

Virgil couldn’t help himself, before he realised it he was next to John’s head with his bloodied hands on his shoulders. He crouched over John and settled his head next to the blonde man. 

“Shhhh… C’mon Polaris, calm down… You’re safe now, we’re all here for you,” he whispered softly, hopefully out of earshot of his youngest brother.

As John stilled, Alan was finally able to get hold of his legs, holding them still and staring at Gordon continuing the removal of the infected skin.

Virgil rubbed John’s shoulders softly and squeezed them in reassurance, whispering to his lover to bring him back from the brink of panic. 

It worked, at least right up until Gordon had to dab the newly opened and exposed wounds with alcohol he brought on with him from Thunderbird Three. Then it took both Virgil and Alan to keep John pinned down as he fought them, yelling, swearing and yelping as he couldn't cope with how much it stung. Virgil also noted in between the breaks of Gordon having to wait till he could get the arm still he'd scratch his own dominant arm in sympathy to the pain and itching John's own dominant one was being subjected to.

He hoped that when it was all sorted and less of a bother, he'd stop mauling himself too and let them at least put aloe vera on it.

Scott hobbled over painfully and gingerly stood in the doorway of the infirmary, observing his brothers wrestling John against the bed. He felt sick with guilt and regretted making the decision which nearly killed the sibling who was now screaming in pain. The eldest Tracy watched with great jealousy as Virgil softly attempted to soothe John, affectionately stroking his shoulders while keeping his top half effectively pinned. He felt remorse for being so blinded by his own feelings that he nearly destroyed the love they shared for one another.

Virgil struggled as John caught hold of his wrist with his free hand, fingernails digging painfully into his skin. He hissed at the pain, forcing himself to calm as John howled in pain and frustration again. The older sibling cupped his hand around John’s face, lightly touching his thumb against his clammy skin. Moving his head, Virgil stared deeply into bloodshot dark blue eyes.

“Nearly there, John,” he soothed, “Right Gordo?”

“Ah, yeah, about that...Scott? Can you pass me the bandages and dressings from on top of that bed? I need a little bit of help here.”

“Are you sure you trust me?” Scott reeled.

“Scooter, it's taking three of us to pin him down and hold his damn arm out for this,” Alan grunted as John's legs jolted trying to still get free. “Just do it already!”

Scott made a dash to collect the bandages and bring them to Gordon. He shifted awkwardly under the gaze of his brothers and began to unwrap the bandages.

“What can I do?”

Gordon gave him a dirty look. “You seriously kidding me? You bloody wrap his arm up!” Gordon had his held out and wedged under his armpit. ”and hurry up before holding him like this dislocates his shoulder!”

Scott jolted into action, hands making quick work of wrapping John’s arm up neatly in the dressing. Fixing the loose end in place, he gently supported John’s hand as Gordon shifted.

Virgil’s eyes were glaring at him protectively from next to John’s head. 

“Don't,” Alan warned. “I don't know what going on between the three of you but don't let Johnny know.”

He was right. John maybe ok, but aware of anything other than serious pain? Best not to bring anything else up.

Virgil glanced down at John, his panicked pale face was contorted in pain and covered in a thin sheen of sweat. 

“We need to get him some pain relief, fast,” Virgil quipped, taking a hand off of John’s shoulders to search behind him for the pre-filled syringes of morphine that he required. 

Closing his hand on the syringe, he quickly unsheathed the hypodermic needle and firmly held John’s good arm steady in place, tapping it to make sure there was no air pockets from the liquid inside moving around before sinking the needle into a vein at his elbow and injecting the contents. He dropped the spent syringe in a metal tray that contained the infected skin that Gordon had removed.

Gently stroking John’s hair, Virgil watched as they all waited until their struggling brother began to slow his shaking limbs, succumbing to a fitful sleep.

Alan and Gordon exchanged glances as if wondering whether to let go or not. Eventually in a silent agreement they did so, Gordon finally giving into his emotions after the adrenaline wore of, leaving the sick bay to find anything he could to distract him from breaking down. Alan just sat there quietly watching Virgil and Scott like hawks, a cold eerie atmosphere between them.

“If you two are going to fight,” he said carefully. “I suggest you take it out to the holodeck with some boxing gloves and do it properly. Don't drag other people into it.” To emphasize his point his indicated towards John, who apart from the odd twitch, was out like a light. “Ignorance is bliss, best to not suck us ALL in - I can see that damage already.” He looked off in the direction Gordon left.

“He'll be ok. I'll stay.” Alan said with a very soft smile. “Best if I do until you three get your shit together. Now get out of here and think what we're going to about dad!”

Virgil glanced once more at John before leaving the infirmary in search of Gordon. 

“Virge wait!” Scott called, catching up with him.

“Fuck. Off.” 

“He’s going to be ok-“

“No thanks to you! You’re the fucking reason he’s in there right now.” Virgil rounded on Scott, “I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now, I need to make sure Gordon is alright.”

Scott held his arms up defensively, “I don’t want to fight right now.”

Virgil sighed, “Gordon’s going to kill me, I blamed him for this because of you!”

“Let me come with you, it’s the least I can do.”

Virgil shot another glare at Scott, his eyes full of worry, before shrugging. 

“At least make sure that when he does kill me, there will be a witness,” Virgil groaned weakly.

Searching the station for their younger brother, Virgil finally spotted Gordon in the Hydroponics Bay. He was hunched over his arms, a pair of secateurs in his hands, angrily mangling the plants before him one by one. 

“Gordon?” Virgil spoke out as he pushed the door open.

Gordon didn't look up. Instead, he growled with his voice full of poison. “Come anywhere near me, the pair of you and you won't live. Actually, go anywhere near or touch John after this and you'll find your guts splayed out all over the floor.”

Virgil felt Scott place a hand on his back, “maybe we should leave him?”

“No,” he hissed, “he’s hurting and we’re the ones who’ve caused it. We need to make it right. For fucks sake, be ready.”

Virgil stepped sideways to allow Scott through the door, letting it fall shut behind him. 

“Gordon,” Virgil started again, trying to steady his voice, “I’m sorry I blamed you earlier.”

The short stocky redhead spun around, the secateurs in his hand held in front of him like a weapon he was not afraid to use. 

“No, you don't get the option to apologize, not this time - either of you.” He snarled. “I don't care if these are separate events or some sick fucking prank but you've both gone too far this time.”

He waved the sharp gardening tool in Virgil’s direction first, his steady hand a worrying sign. Gordon had been helping Tintin with her father's garden back home afterall so anything was possible.

“You - you manipulative streak of dogs piss, I don't care if John lets you play rough, THAT BACK IN THERE is not the body of someone who's lover looks after him. Those bites, those bruises, they're fucking severe looking! Ones usually in rough play heal after a day or two, those look like they've been there for weeks!”

His lip curled back. “And what about his arm? That injury looked old and highly infected! Why didn't you treat it properly when you were up here? That's fucking negligence!”

He then swung the tool at Scott who visibly flinched. “As for you, THIS is not KEEPING THE FAMILY TOGETHER. It's more TEARING IT APART in huge fucking chunky meaty pieces! You - you sick fuckhead, why in the name of the gods did you damn FILM your younger brother's PRIVATE MOMENTS? I don't know about you but I'd be feeling violated and paranoid as shit knowing you were spying on me wanking off or showering… or sleeping and having sex in private!”

The arm swung back to Virgil. “And my goodness, if I KNEW you were having sex with John to the point he was unable to participate like you fucking did I'd have NEVER LET YOU LOOK AFTER HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! NEITHER OF YOU DESERVE ANY SIBLINGS, YOU KNOW THAT!”

“STOP IT!” Virgil cried out, holding his palms to face his younger brother, feeling sick at how he was painting him as a monstrosity, “JUST STOP!”

“Why? Because you don't like the truth from someone else's perspective? Ever consider WHY dad might of flipped his shit over this? If he SAW what I did from you two he'd be having a fucking stroke!”

“And don't you dare,” Gordon's voice turned to acid in his own mouth. “Don't you fucking dare tell me John would be fine with this - if he knew, you'd be more than just seen as monsters...you'd be the fucking reason he'd be locked away under heavy medication to make this shit all go away.”

Gordon watched both older sibling's carefully, waiting for one of them to attempt to disarm him. Behind him, Scott and Virgil could see Alan approaching silently and they both exchanged panicked glances hoping Alan was not planning to grab him from behind.

They didn't need to worry.

Watching Gordon carefully, his expression started to change and the gardening tool was dropped from his hand to clatter on the steel floor. He shouldered past his two older brothers and into the arms of his taller twin, who was standing behind them and hugged him tight in silence. All that could be heard was Gordon's sobbing in his arms and the look of shame on John's face was apparent. Looking up at his other three siblings there was alot of hurt in those eyes and there was no remorse or desire to listen to apologies to be found in them. He rested his head on his twins and closed his eyes, knowing he was the problem in the first place for all of this, he was going to stop it. No more rocky relationship with Virgil, no more jealousy from Scott and leaving Alan out of the loop and most important - no more hurting his twin.

Besides, John was getting tired of being unable to read Virgil and what was under the surface. It was hurting him to do so and in the process, everyone around him.

Maybe they could pick it up again later? Right now, there was no reason to.

Virgil looked up at John hopefully, the eyes that stared back at him were full of shame and sadness. There was nothing to say that would remedy this hostile moment. His own dark eyes released tears as his heart dropped. Virgil’s world was collapsing around him like a dying star and for once, there was nothing he could do to prevent it. 

Maybe Gordon had been right about him. 

Backing away from his brothers, giving John a final heartfelt look with tears in his eyes, he slipped from the Hydroponics Bay and took off running until he reached the cavernous space in the cargo hold in Thunderbird Three. Virgil collapsed onto the floor, body shaking from the gut-wrenching pain of losing John. Silent sobs wracked through him, unable to grasp any oxygen into his lungs.

Scott stood rooted to the spot in the Hydroponics Bay, surrounded by carnage. Carnage of his own creation. Alan stared at him, searching his face for any sign of the usual Scott he was accustomed to, not this beaten and guilty version. 

Alan quietly looked between all his brothers, “Can someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” He demanded quietly, watching the uncomfortable reactions of his siblings. 

“Best you don't know.” Scott said, following Virgil in taking his leave. Alan then looked at John and found no help there.

 


	27. United angels stand

Scott finally discovered Virgil lying in the corner of the cargo bay of the red rocket they had travelled up in. He had spent a great deal of time trying to locate his immediate younger brother, having scanned the majority of the space station before taking his search to Thunderbird Three. Virgil had fallen into a troubled sleep, still looking exhausted. 

Scott made his way over to the younger man and slid to the floor next to his head. The eldest Tracy lifted his siblings head gently, as not to disturb him, and placed it on his lap. 

Finally allowing his emotions to catch up with him, his breath hitched as he choked back a sob. His throat was raw and aching from the abuse he had suffered at the hands of the sleeping brother on his lap.

Guilt wasn’t an emotion that Scott Tracy was used to feeling. Though here he was having to come to terms with the fact that his actions had single-handedly destroyed his brothers. Virgil was to be exiled from the island, losing the love of his life. John was to share the same fate after he had nearly died up here. Gordon was in pieces over his fierce protectiveness and concern for John, he now hated Virgil with a terrifying passion. Alan was so out of the loop watching his siblings fall apart that his confusion was desperately sad to observe. 

Absentmindedly, his hand stroked through his sleeping brother’s hair. His own feelings were as fucked up and confused as they had been before, if not worse.

Scott let his head fall back against the hull of the spaceship, the dull thud echoing round the empty bay. He let his tears fall freely in silence as he feared for the future.

“Hey John?”

“Yes Gordon?”

“Why did you let Virgil do that stuff to you? There's a fine line you know.”

“I know.. I just, look you guys get your thrills from physically saving people or going on those adventure thrill seeking holidays, the rush I get when I'm treated badly by someone who loves me...I know it's not the same but it's addictive, like how those things are like a drug. I want the rush, the thrill, something that sends sparks and fireworks off in my life. I'm tired of everything being boring, tired of being this person watching other people - I want that to be me, the exciting crazy thrill seeking junkie not…” 

John sighed, lying back on the medical bay bed. “It doesn't matter. I have to let go, don't I? What I want...it has hurt too many people. If we want it to stop so we can save the family, I have to let go of everything I want.”

“But do you want to?”

“Do I have a choice?

Gordon looked over at the sleeping form of Alan who was asleep on the other medbed and thought about the pieces everyone was in.

“No, you don't. But it's unfair that you have to throw everything away to fix things.”

“I know. But I think I have an idea… here listen…”

Hours pass and John was awoken by a light beeping coming from the com unit in the medical bay. He got up, still shirtless and checked it.

It was coming from Tracy Island.

He flipped the switch to send the call to the holodeck, nudged Gordon awake to get his siblings and give them his instructions before walking out of the medbay.

He had a plan, granted it wasn't a good one - but it would do.

Stepping into the white room full of cameras when he reached the lower deck, John looked up at the angry holographic head of their father. John knew when he would see on the other end, since the program hadn't been changed from Virgil’s and his resupply of passion. On Jeff's end, John's bare skin glowed with the colour of beautiful galaxies, his blonde hair pure white like a sun. The hologram must have been a shock as Jeff seemed to be thrown by it, losing his train of anger for a brief moment.

“You win dad.” John said calmly. “You always win. But you know as well as I do, victory comes at a price. If I go, I take it all - everything that is International Rescue comes with me, my brother's, their skills, their expertise - they leave with me, Tintin too. You may have the ships and Brains, but you won't have the team, the cooperation and comradery.”

“And what are you planning to do with what you take?” Jeff thundered, folding his arms.

“Start new. Start a new rescue squad. One that functions and works together. One that doesn't need to be lead because the team works as one.”

As John spoke, the doors on either side of the room opened and the other Tracy boys, half asleep, all tired and rundown entered.

Gordon had told them all to remove their shirts, prior to stepping inside. Confused, they complied - only because he insisted John asked that they do so.

They saw Jeff recoil a little, the holograms of his sons were all coloured like John - beautiful star systems danced on the skins of each of them in various hues and colours.

What was now in front of Jeff in his office, was five young ethereal angels and it was terrifying. Scott and Virgil’s hair went dark, Alan's changed to match John's and Gordon's streaked with wild colours like meteors showering across the sky. Each torso was marked by scars, burn marks serious signs of damage, but all stood proud, wearing their wounds like medals.

“I may not know what I'm doing, but I'm not going to throw all of this away because of control that's over the top and restricting us like nooses. I have to give up what I want, but I will have still won the war if losing the battle gives me my brother's back, gives us back our freedom and our rights to be what we've always been - heroes for those who are desperately in need.”

The brothers stood there, shoulder to shoulder, looking defiantly at Jeff. Their eyes were piercing his, fatigued and broken.

“You have no idea what you are doing,” Jeff hissed

“Yes, I said that.” John said softly. “And I know either way if they go home and just continue on as is or come with me I have to give up my heart and do what is right for them, even if it means letting go of the only things I have.” he glanced back at his brothers.

“I don't have anything else left to sacrifice. You gave me nothing but lies and empty promises, you talked me up big just to tear me down when I wanted to be something else, be who I really am. I'm not sorry for that or for not being the spineless son that fed off nothing but false hope and ego boosting…. just wanted you -heck everyone - to accept me and be proud of that… but even then I knew you were still ashamed of me even with the lies… it made no difference then, nor does it now.”

John looked really tired and a weight that was on his shoulders looked heavier instead of lighter.

“I'm always having to show people who I want to be, who I really am but the thing is even I don't know anymore. I'm always hiding behind a mask, performing tricks with my hands, fooling everyone with being an imitation of myself.”

Then he laughed, “Its uncanny isn't it, having you think THIS is me? But you're wrong.”

“I really expected better than this, from all of you. Do you really think you can dictate your terms?” Jeff glared, “So this is how it’s going to be? Does HE speak for all of you?”

“Since when is sacrifice a dictation of terms? We didn't give you any.” Gordon puffed himself out.

“John speaks his heart and we all agree.” Virgil added calmly, placing a hand on John’s shoulder, “it’s time to start over and leave the past where it is. If we are willing to sacrifice ourselves and put aside our differences, you won’t stop us.”

“If you want us back, Father, you’re going to have to ask a hell of a lot nicer than that,” Scott spoke, his voice stern and posture proud, “We’re a team, a family, we are brothers proud to do what we do… We stand together.”

“We stand unified,” Alan added. “All or none.”

“Famous last stand.” Gordon retorted. He glanced over at John, a sick feeling was beginning to form in his head and by the look of it, his twin was very drained. He looked up as Virgil started to speak again.

Removing his hand from John’s shoulder he took a step forward.

“This is it… We’re not soldiers due to fall in line behind you, we are your sons and each of us deserves the right to be treated as an individual. We can’t continue to function like we were, we’re giving up a lot more that you realise to do what we do.” Virgil paused, regaining some confidence, “I am lucky enough to have my brothers at my side, I won’t lose them because of YOU. Because of anyone for that matter. This is the ending point of all that has come before, and the start of something better. You either step down, or we move on.”

“I see.” Jeff looked furious. “If you continue with this folly you will all lose out.”

Scott was about to retort with his own rebuttal, but a blur of ginger was in the corner of his vision causing him to turn around instead.

John had collapsed in the middle of the circle of brothers.

Gordon got to him before he hit the hard steel, lowering him the rest of the journey downwards. Immediately he was checking his forehead, his own dizziness preempting his actions.

Gordon looked up at Scott, Virgil and Alan as they all huddled around their collapsed sibling.

“He's fainted,” Gordon said quickly. “And he's burning up. The infection must be getting worse. Virgil, take him to the infirmary and put him on a drip of antibiotics. I'll be up shortly, not feeling too crash hot myself.”

“What in blazes?” Jeff's voice was confused behind them on the hologram. “What in hell's is going on up there!?”

Virgil quickly scooped John’s unconscious body into his arms, carefully standing and making his way out of the holodeck.

“What’s going on is you nearly killed John by shutting off the controls up here!” Scott snapped, stepping back in front of their father, “You need to step down, we need room to breathe! We don’t need you to function as a unit, in fact all you’ve done is rule our lives and push us to our limits!”

Jeff made an attempt to respond but Scott rose up again.

“You can’t control us anymore, John’s right, we can function without you and we will,” he growled, “We’re done giving you everything with nothing in return.”

Scott felt his body shake as Alan came to stand at his side, “If you think you can beat us into submission, you’ve got another thought coming. I’ve learnt that I am nothing without my brothers, so if you try and do much as BREATHE on them wrong, I’ll be right fucking there. You want them? You’ll have to go through me first.”

Laying John gently on the bed, Virgil skillfully fitted a cannula into a prominent vein on the back of his sibling’s limp hand before connecting it up to the IV antibiotic solution. He prepared another bag for Gordon’s arrival.

“John…” the older man choked, “You have given everything… I… I’m sorry I let you down.”

He taped the cannula and IV line in place before checking the drip rate, opening the clip on the line to speed it up. 

God it hurt to watch his brother sacrifice everything, exhausting himself of all effort.

Virgil pulled the covers up over John and waited at his side for Gordon to turn up.

Gordon eventually wandered in, pinching his nose looking as bad as John. He waved the proffered IV needle away. 

“Headache tablets and a glass of water is fine. It's just sympathy pain.” He sat down with very little grace in the nearest chair. “You missed Scotty drive a hard bargain in there, phew!” 

Gordon sighed. “We get to keep Thunderbirds Two and Four. Dad thinks we'll fail on our arses but he's at least being generous… for him. John said to me when he came up with the idea that even if we had one craft we’d be able to build our own. All of us have some level of engineering skills and hell, that was your major so it might be possible to build a few by ourselves, give or take a few years - three Johnny thinks - you know his calculations are never off by much.”

Gordon looked a little sad. “John said in order for us to start from scratch as a proper team, he'd have to give up the only thing he has. But you want to know something? If you hold on and hang around while this crazy idea of his comes together...you might just get that second chance.”

He gave Virgil a warm smile as he was handed a glass of water and some painkillers. “He still loves you and would try again when you're both ready. Right now isn't the time so…. Think of it as speed bump - or a holiday.”

“I love him more than anything in the world,” Virgil smiled, watching as Gordon gratefully necked the painkillers and gulping down, “I’m lucky he’s even considering it. Getting on with this new rescue unit as brothers will be good for us. I know we’re all going to need time to heal after this, especially you and John, but you can finally live together like you always should have been, not forced to be separated.”

He softly laid his hand on John’s arm and rubbed his thumb affectionately over the pale skin, “I’m sorry Gordo… I truly am… For all of this. I know that all of the words I have to offer can’t change everything that has happened… But a fresh start? Shit, we can finally have the chance to be brothers again. To work as a team like we do best. Who cares if dad thinks we’ll fail, we know more about what we do than he does. We’ll be better off living out from under his shadow after all these years.”

“Besides, my lovesick squid,” Virgil looked up and smirked at the red-head, “You can finally pop the question to Tintin now that we’re shot of dad. That and we’re the lucky bastards who get to keep our ‘birds!”

 


	28. New hope

Time passes slowly for the exiled, but once all five boys -along with Tintin - cleared their gear from the island to an abandoned and dilapidated homestead in the middle of nowhere in the Northern Territory things for them started to move with an incredible pace. They pooled all their money they never had to touch from before living hundred percent in luxury on the Island and luckily they had plenty to live off and fund their massive protect thanks to some smart stock investments they had all made as young university students.

Even with only two craft, they were able to still perform most call outs they received, John and Tintin painstakingly creating and setting up a brand new communications network through a huge satellite dish with Alan launching a homemade satellite for them to bounce signals off into space using the skills acquired building rockets in university.

Virgil and Scott banged their heads together alongside John on new schematics as they started to build a few more specialized crafts and took on board Gordon’s ideas for a portable interchangeable mini craft system so they could in a pinch snap together drilling or bulldozing equipment at a moment's notice if a situation requires. Thunderbird Two was gutted out and refitted with new equipment and systems along with the little yellow submarine and between these when there was downtime for Alan, Gordon, Tintin and John, all four of them worked in bringing the house up to code with an extensive labyrinth of underground nextworks leading to the new and improved rescue crafts which were all coming together under the careful precision hands of Virgil and Scott, medical facilities and some very impressive computer systems that would make any NASA home boy faint with excitement.

A year had passed and things were almost ready. The six of them were trained up with enough experience from skeleton crewing the two existing crafts while the new ones were being made, soon it would be all ready to go with new equipment, new technology and above all, a crew that were able to take on anything.

Sitting in a tiny cafe in Sydney, Alan, Scott, Virgil and John were overdressed for such a quaint quiet little shop but they decided after the wedding they threw for Gordon and Tintin they needed a quiet coffee, some cake and a place they could hear each other without shouting across the venue.

“So we're going to be two down now for a while.” Scott mused over his strong long black. “You know I hope they go all out in their honeymoon, would be great to be made uncles.” He chuckled. He had grown a beard which was immaculate and greying along with his hair - going silver early part of his genes and finally giving up in dying it, the vanity he held onto since he was twenty being let go.

“Well sort of.” John smiled. “Gordon said at least he can help when he comes back even if he's now a family man. He said he can do all the calls for a while and be on an emergency in a pinch.”

Scott looked at the skinny blonde. “You sure you're up to it? Your health has been a bit of a sore point of late.”

“Even if I fly a craft for you guys, it's better than nothing.” John held his smile. Scott was kind enough not to mention why he was sick alot these days, John didn't need reminding that he was very limited to what he could and couldn't do in a rescue. Even with advances in medicine for his condition it still meant he had to be careful, his immune system was far more delicate now than theirs.

Virgil placed his hand on John's leg under the table and gently rubbed his knee. It had hit them all hard, but it had hurt him the hardest as he knew it was partly his fault and could have been him instead.

“I know, John. But we promised Gordon you're going to damn well hang around for all of us to have kids!” Scott laughed.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to handle a miniature Gordon running around, isn’t one enough?” Alan laughed, taking a swig from his coffee.

“Don't jinx it, he's a twin remember? This shit is genetic.” John snorted with amusement.

“Don’t sweat it, Alan,” Virgil smirked, slapping the youngest’s shoulder lightly, “Besides, you’ll be be next! Why you’ve not popped the question to Alice yet is beyond me.”

Alan laughed, “All in good time, Virge, I’m surprised meeting you lot didn’t scare her off.”

Scott reached over and ruffled the hair of the youngest. “Part of the initiation, little brother. She's going to want to be a part of the team when you spring the rest of it on her! Who wouldn't want to be a part of the eccentric Tracy family and their incredible rescue machines!”

“Eccentric is a kind word Scott, I think nuts is more appropriate,” Alan grinned, “I just need to find the right moment to broach the subject.”

“Where do you think Gordo and Tintin will choose for their honeymoon?” Virgil mused.

“Italy.” John replied over folded hands. “I helped book the hotels.”

There was a round of laughter and mugs being drank.

“So, any plans before we fly back tomorrow afternoon? I was thinking of checking out the museum before we left for home in the big ol’ bird.” Scott said softly.

“Mmm..I might just hang back at the hotel.” John answered. “Today was a little too much for me.”

“I thought about that museum too, Scooter,” Alan piped, “mind if I join you?”

Scott chuckled, highly chuffed. “Sure can Alan. That would be lovely.”

Virgil was watching John beside him, absently fiddling with his medical emergency number neck chain. It was clearly time to think about heading to the hotel, at least for them. 

Becoming his siblings full time carer was something he didn't take lightly and John didn't seem phased by the change - he knew Virgil would have for any of them.

“What about you Virgil? You'd at least join us for lunch at the sky high revolving restaurant?”

“That sounds like a plan, Virgil.” John said playfully. “A rest in the morning, fancy lunch and a nice travel back home.”

“Does sound tempting, I’ll take you up on it,” Virgil agreed, glancing at John, “let’s get you back to the hotel, hey?”

John nodded weakly in response, “Agreed. I think today was plenty.”

The other two nodded. “We'll see you in the morning then, don't get up to too much mischief!” Scott gave them a conspiratorial wink while Alan shook his head.

“Oh… you know I'll make his life hard.” John chuckled. “I have for the last three months, that I assure you won't change.”

He stood up slowly and was given hugs from his siblings who planned on staying out a little later. “We'll be seeing you.”

Virgil held his arm gently across John’s shoulders, silently supporting him as they walked slowly back to the hotel. Luckily it wasn’t a great distance from the cafe they had vacated so John had opted to take a leisurely stroll.

It had taken time, but the brothers had found peace between them all. Burying themselves in their persistence to continue their rescue work. 

The dark sky above them was threatening, the evening was humid and electricity hung in the air. They paused for a moment, John sitting on a nearby bench to allow himself a brief rest. Virgil set down the umbrella he had been carrying and swiftly removed the jacket from his body, wrapping it around his sibling. 

“Take your time, Polaris, we’re in no rush.”

John let out a light amused snort. “I know, my dear Apollo. But you know life awaits for no one.” he reached out to pull Virgil close. “I'm sorry it's not perfect but it's nice to be us...and I promise that with every day I'll make the effort, no matter how difficult it can be sometimes to show you how much I appreciate your kindness.”

“You’ve no need to do that, I’ll be right here for the rest of our lives. Whatever it takes to make this easier for you.”

There was a blinding flash above their heads followed by a booming rumble of thunder. The light patter of large raindrops began filling the evening air. 

The older man hurriedly opened the umbrella and held it out, sheltering John from the globs of rain that fell. 

“Let’s get you out of the rain, it’s not much further,” Virgil held his hand out to his sibling, smiling and twitching as the raindrops landed on his dark eyelashes, his dark hair almost turning black from the water that fell.

John gratefully took the outstretched hand and unfolded himself from the bench as he stood, stepping close so the umbrella covered both of them. He lifted the jackets edge so it draped over both their shoulders, wrapping his arm relaxed around Virgil’s back to share what little warmth he could offer. “Ready.” He said, resting his head briefly on Virgil’s strong broad shoulder.

Virgil pulled John closer to his chest as the rain fell steadily heavier, puddles forming quickly on the tarmac around them. Virgil pulled them both into a nearby doorway, sheltered from the persistent rain.

A imperfect moment, frozen in time, for now the distance between them non existent.

 


End file.
